While everybody's been busy mugging for the exam, I have to admit that I am still taking things very easy. Thanx Adrian for your reminder. I lack wilpower, I lack motivation, I lack the drive. As my dad put it, I simply lacked the thirst for knowledge. These days,my results are mediocre, or worst still, below average for my essays despite stressing my ass off. Gone are the days where I could get high marks for my essays in secondary school. And for some reason, I always wait until the very last minute to do my assignments or even the presentation. It seems like when I have a lot of time on my hands, I will simply do other less important or even frivolous stuff. I only get started on it the day before it is due and I end up being so stressed or so pressed for time that I don't do a good job.
Taking about the presentation, I woke up later then my stipulated time of 6, which means I had no time to go through my presentation. I was seriously in a blind panic and very stressed. I was tense throughout and half of the time, didn't even know what I was talking about. I was suffering from acute stage fright. Anyway its something which I have no wish to go through again. I have always had difficulty expressing my view in front of a audience for as long as I can remember. Wait a minute, do I even have a view in the first place....Most of the time I am a passive listener, never questioning, never doubting, simply accepting. Sometimes not even listening....I do wish I can express myself as vocally as some people I know. I really admire them for their guts, but somehow, I don't know why, I just can't do it.
Now I have to try to study..seriously study before its too late...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
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