yay!!! No more paper, can slack without feeling the tinge of guilt now. I only started studying last nighte and a little today. The questions were all environment based and pretty boring and I just started scribbling away frantically until time was up, though I ran out of steam for the last question.

After the paper, I went to plaza singapura to meet Kaetnians, a very very good turnout- Shiang, Derek, Kelvin, Stephen, Winnie, Jul, Gsy, Bianca to watch THE INCREDIBLES. It is really a incredibly nice show. I love edna, dash, violet and esp JACK-JACK, he's soooo cute...but I don't like Mr Incredible...haha,think he's just one big hulk of a superhero. After the movie, no one could decide where to go for dinner, it was so packed everywhere, so we just wondered from ps towards town area and in the end when to BK for dinner yet again. But I am not complaining, I had a riotous time and we were all mad, I think...there was a lot of laughter and merriment and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Think we really bonded and us girls walked around orchard road with our arms linked together. Bianca had to go off early to study for her exam on Tues, dont worry gal, we will all be rooting for you and though we would not be there physically(like what steph suggested), we will be there spiritually and these 2 days will pass very soon.

Anyway I left not too long after she did as I felt very pooped and wanted to go home and rot. Had a big surprise when Liang told me he had something for me. I went to great world city to wait for him. Waited for nearly an hour where I was slapping myself for not going home to bathe and all that first and was pacing the floor when he turned up, very apologetically and holding nothing less than a whole chocolate cake from four-leaves. Now, only an ingrate would still be pissed off.. I was so totally touched that he actually bought the cake and brought it all the way to my house and he was so apologetic for being late even though it was not even his fault. And yes,the cake is delicious....thank you so much. My mom was all nosy to know all the details though I assured her that it was from a friend.. She seems to think that every guy whom I go out with or give me things is my bf...The B word which I will be discussing next time when I feel like it, is nowhere in sight. I am still a singleton and happy with it.

Hooray, its my last paper tomorrow, but not that it matters, I haven't been studying much for it anyway. Guess when you switch to slacking mode, its very hard to switch back into studying mood. It just dawned on me that my dec holidays is really going to be very packed, I shall make a list of things that I should do.

1. Look for temp-job or maybe tuition(I have been doing lots of therapy lately-->retail therapy and have a nigging suspicion that I am going to over-spend this month, what with all the outings with frens,bbq, chalet and not to mention christmas gifts and goodies)
2. Outing with kaetnians
3. Outing with optoians
4.Chalet with Kaetnians
5.JC reunion bbq
6.JC gang outings-yumin, jul, cindy
7.Sec sch frens outing
8.Go gym, roller-blading, swimming
9.Go suntanning
10. Maybe windsurfing(if i have the time)
11.Want to pick up tennis,but don't think have the time
12.Ooh yes, driving lessons( driving test on 27th...sigh)
13.Practise piano(My skills are lamentably rusty)
14.Curl up on the bed with novels,lots of them
15. Watch movies
16.Improve my salsa dancing
17.Spend quality time with mum, now that we are having a truce, I had better ba a dutiful daughter and have dinner at home at least twice a week, if not... she'd go again and start naggin at me for treating the house as a hotel...blah blah
18.Last but not least...GO CLUBBING(though mum hasnt officially approved, I think I am old enough to decide what I want and besides, I know my limits)

I think my blog should be renamed diary of a glutton instead of pathway into my mind. For the second day in a row, I went coffee club for lunch, this time, it was my mum's treat. I had lunch with her and her friend. I had a pasta and a managed to resist the cake, ordered a chocolate vanilla mocha instead. It is a iced-coffee with choc syrup and vanilla ice-cream, really thick and creamy. Later on, I walked by Beard Papa and couldnt resist the chocolate fondant again. It was like....calling out to me and calling me closer and ever closer. I am only human and its my greatest weakness....haha...The mind is willing,but the flesh is weak kind of thing. But its really really delicious.. All the warm goey valrhona oozing out...

I went to the gym in the afternoon to assuage my guilt. Had a really good workout. I am resolving to get myself in shape during this hols. Like a realllly toned body where u can wear anything and shake your booty *wink*. Like a certain petite sized girl in NUS who is soo toned, golden, and incidentally gorgeous as well called 'V'. Not that I can ever achieve that kind of size, but well, it would be great to be able to come close to it...Now, if only I can stop eating so much....... I shall be working on my new goal...TOugh,but I will grit my teeth and try my best

wow, my day was filled with more chocs, I am on chocolate overload..I feel sooo fat, must go on a diet soon, if not I will look like a chimpanzee with my daily indulgence. Hmm, maybe I will wait until christmas, after all, who can resist christmas cakes and food and all....

The day started off with meeting Adrian, who is back from Australia for lunch at coffee club. He is also a fellow choc lover like me. And the best of all is, he helped me buy the Rocklea roads from Aussie which I tried once there and never quite got it out of my system. Its like a bar of fluffy marshmellow coated generously with milk choc and peanuts and dessicated coconut. Its yummy, I tell u. We went to coffee club for lunch, I treated him as he did not charge me for the chocs which cost quite a fair bit. We had a main course each and dessert was muddie mudpie which we shared. We actually dithered quite a long time over which dessert to order as the selection was simply too huge and all were equally tempting. It is better than the one at nydc
and is like a huge tower of choc and coffee ice-cream drenched in chocolate fudge and cookie bits. But the best is yet to come. We went down to taka foodsquare and ordered this chocolate fondant cake from Beard Papa which by the way was introduced in last week's Sunday times life food section and which I have been wanting to try since I saw it. it was a deceptively small looking plain piece of cupcake. But when you bite into in, warm, liquid varlrhona oozes out and the base of the cake is actually a biscuit base. It was fabulicious. Not too sweet, and extremely chocolatey. At the introductory price of $2.20, it was really a steal. Both of us had huge silly grins on our face when we were eating it. It was simply orgasmic....mmmm. And I am ashamed to admit that while I was eating it, I kept making sounds of appreciation. It was gone all to soon, but I am definitely going back to buy it again.

Aftet that, I went to catch a movie with sy, stephen, kelvin, liang and his friend. Decided to watch Bridget jones diary. It was simply hilarious, full of the dry british humour that had me giggling loudly throughout the movie. I simply love Renee Zellweger and Hugh Grant who is always so suave and debonair and SEXY. The storyline was good, the acting was good, everything was good, but I don't understand why it was only rated two stars by the straits times. Hmm, it was really a truly great movie and I don't even mind going back to watch a second time. I am a sucker for movies with happy endings and there were parts which tugged at my heartstring. There are so many other movies to catch, like the Incredibles which everyone raved about..Hmm, its going to be a great holiday...

Wahoooo, finally finished SEA today. Can officially slack without guilt...Well at least until monday. Though my gem is a open book, I still have to well, look through the books rite? SEA was horrid, I managed to crap a lot for localisation. Managed reasonably well for the second question on Indochina, but I ran out of steam for the last question which was on case study of industrialisation of malaysia. I half heartedly wrote down a few points, but for some reasons, the answer just evaded me. Well, I won't lose too much sleep over that, I have much better things to do now then to sit around and mope.

I know that for this sem, I probably won't do well..but heck it. I just hope that this would be a lesson well learnt and that I would really PAY ATTENTION in lect and tutorial next sem. For now, its play, play and more play. Yes Jan,zonghan, bianca, clubbing beckons. Yipeee!!!

Hee, reading cleo mag now, been resisting its call for days. This is live, this is living, this is the mag....wahaha.. I am dancing with joy...bursting with happiness...that is , until the results are released. Meanwhile, carpe diem, live live to the fullest..

I am fighting to keep my eyes open and my brain focused even as I struggle to process the SEA notes in my evidently rusty brain. Had a hurried lunch of chinese dumpling in 15 mins..Oh..so looking forward to tonight, can finally give my over-cooked brain a rest. I jusy hope that I do'n't forget everything that I studied in my nervousness in the exam hall. Shall try my ps lecturer Dr kenneth paul tan's tip of drinking a shot of alcohol to relax the brain before going in, really hope it helps-Gordon Bleu Cognac, hmmm...But hope I don't end up falling asleep or feeling groggy..

8 things learnt from political science exam

1. Never ever try to cram all the concepts in in one day, it doesn't work and u end up being more confused.
2. Just concentrate on a few topics which u feel would come out and study hard for it(that is if u only have one day, if not, don't ever try it)
3. Just reading the notes get you nowhere, you have to read,understand, digest and be able to produce it even after closing the textbk(my biggest failure in studying, I never test myself to see how much I have actually remembered)
4. Waking up at 6 to study for my ps exam at9 didn't help at all, though I really concentrated. (again, this could be because of point 2)
5. Pay attention in lecture and tutorial( I always tend to switch off and give myself the excuse that I can always read the textbk and notes at home)
6. Ask and you will find out; question and you will understand(I tend to be very passive in tutorials, never querying, always accepting. Though I think that I never ask questions bec I don't even know what is going on.)
7. No use stressing yourself out in the exam hall if you cannot really answer the question, no matter how much you worry or panic, the answer won't come+ u will die younger.
8. No use blaming yourself for what has already happened, look ahead and learn from your mistakes, you can't turn back the clocks of time. You can only do your best to make sure the same thing doesn't happen again.


I am now a wiser person, I hope. And all you ppl out there, don't be like me. Someone said(can't remember who): "A stupid person learns from his own mistake, a smart person learns from other ppl's mistakes". I am not saying thats entirely through, but well.... I definitely hope that this will be a last lesson to me, that I would learn from my mistakes.

Everyone thinks I am exaggerating when I say I am going to flunk ps. But seriouly, I feel it deep in my bones that I am. When I sat down and looked through the questions, I looked for a long time before starting to write, deciding which question to do. It was horrible, I couldnt remember almost all my concepts and even for those which I could, I was not entirely sure if they were accurate. I slapped myself for not stuyding feminism, I had a feeling it would come out, but as usual, I didn't act on it. The thing about political science is that there are a lot of concepts that u have to be clear about, one can't just cram everything in in one day. Thats what happened to me, I guess. I read so many chapters without understanding the concepts that I just mixed everything up. While everybody around me was scribbling away furiously, I was erm leisurely writing at intervals. Suprisingly, despite my lack of preparation and being sure that I would not do well, I was quite cool about it. I guess this is what u would call resignation.....resignation to my fate. Though I am not sure my dad would see it the same way as I do. I have to think of a good speech to say to him, hmm, shall I act all teary-eyed and regretful or be matter-of -fact and confident and tell him that I am confident I would do better next sem. I know what he would say--> BULLSHIT and give me a huge lect...Sigh I am sure dreading that. Hopefully I will do so badly that I would have to retake it next semester. Does anyone knows if it would affect my cap score? But then again, it means going through the same stressful routine or worse as it would mean taking 6 modules next sem. Gosh, I hope it won't come to that. sigh, I shan't think about it anymore and block it out of my system until I get back the results.

Phew, just crammed 6 months worth of political science into my tiny brain tonight. Been studying almost non-stop since my last blog entry except for lunch and dinner and a few breaks here and there..... But seriously I don't know how much of it has gone in, I feel so overloaded with political terms now that I don't dare to shake my head too much for fear of it coming back out...wahaha...okie lameness is a good sign of relaxness??? Shall go to bed now, don't think anymore stuff can go in....Pray for all the best. Well I tried my best, at least for today, and if I really flunk it, at most take it again next semester, no big deal rite? Thank for all my darrlings who prayed for me and gave me encouragement when I needed it most. Going to bed feeling really blessed.

A lot of things happened in the short span of a morning and I don't even know where to start. When I woke up early in the morning, wanting to mug for ps before going down for breakfast, which I didn't make much progress for yesterday, I heard the sounds of raised voices again. Stepdad and mom were quarrelling again, over some household matters. Then I heard something that shocked me, my stepdad told my mom off for being such a lousy mother, for not bothering to talk to me and show concern towards me(we have not been on speaking terms for a week and only talk in mono-syllabus) and told her that she should take the initiative to speak to me. I was so touched that silly old moi shed a few tears of gratitude.

When I finally made an appearance in the living room, he had already gone out Mom was there and she started ranting at me for making her the cause of a scolding. As if it's my fault. I haven't been complaining to anyone except my blog, which if I don't, I will surely burst with all the emotions inside me. This time, we really had a shouting match. In the past, whenever she scolded me, I'd mostly keep quiet and try to take it in stride, but today, all the things inside my head which were clamouring to be let out finally did. She told me (for the upteenth time) to go back to my dad's house. She told me that I was mercenary, she told me that she disliked me, she told me that she regretted taking custody of me…. What kind of f**ked up mother would say that to her kid? I don’t know, but I retorted that I would leave.

And I really wish I could, I have been seriously considering it for quite a while, but I don't want to go back to my dad's place. I think going back once a week is enough and If I see him more than that, our current good relationship would deteriorate as he is even more of an authoritarian and control-freak, and I can just foresee future issues about my freedom coming up and many others. Right now, I mostly give in to him for peace's sake. I wonder if it is too late to register for a room at pgp. But that, I think, would be a last resort as it is quite expensive and I can’t jolly well ask from my dad or my mom.

I am supposed to be studying now, but I can’t. My eyes are swollen and my heart is in a turmoil……Getting ready to flunk political science

Today was the start of exam and my first paper was lit. I was not really that worried for lit as I think the essay could be crapped even if you totally have no idea about what to write. But well, I managed to write quite a lot of things which I hope is relevant. But I am feeling distinctly anxious about the rest of my papers though, esp PS and SEA which I totally don't understand at all and which is uncrappable. Like how to you crap about marxism, bureaucracy, regionalism, politcal legitamacy if you don't even know any cold hard facts...oh dear, iam scaring myself.

But well, I have only myself to blame. Didn't study hard enough, didn't make enough effort, been slacking this whole semester. This has happened to me so many times before,for O and A levels. Not studying when I have the time, even when the books is just in front of me. I can stare at the same page of the textbook for very long,but yet nothing goes in. I only starts studying in earnest when the exam is like the next day and only then I start panicking and studying at top speed, by then it'd be too late. Well, I got lucky for the 'O's , I scrapped through the 'A's but I have the nagging feeling I won't live this one through. I have made so many resolutions not to procrastinate, but I have never kept any of them. My motto is 'there is always tomorrow' which is BAD. I am scaring myself, at this point in time, I am still reading story books. Yes, I dug out my book of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and reread it for the upteenth time. Come to think of it, I read harry potter before the 'A's too, but I think that was the Goblet of Fire....I am simply not learning from past mistakes and letting history repeat itself.

I always have such low expectations of myself, like I would be very happy if I get a B for my essay, even for the exam. But my friend just told me that a friend of hers has been getting As this whole sem for her assignments and when she got a B+, she was quite freaked out.. That conversation gave me a big scare and jotted me to my senses. Do i want to get mediocre grades all my life and be a nobody? Nono, I've always had been dreams about being SOMEBODY, not that it'd come through, but it doesnt hurt to have dreams and ideals and even if you work hard but fall short of it, it is still somewhere. As yx put it, there is no stopping me except myself. All I have to do is to overcome this barrier within me and I am on the way to the tops. yayyy

5 more days to go before my impt papers finish. Hope I can remain sane until then...

I go through the same vicious cycle everyday, of curbing my appetite in the daytime, and spoiling it at night. Went to study in the central lib today, was considerably more productive today, studying socie. I skipped lunch as I always felt very tired after a heavy lunch and napped in the library instead. My 'lunch' consisted of digestive biscuits, milk and cadbury mini eggs agaaain. Went home at 5, satisfied with a day's work, with my stomach rumbling in anticipation of a hearty dinner. Even ignored the urge to buy anymore chocolate or snacks. Had a huge disappointment when I saw dinner- mom had decided to go vegetarian today…yucks,yucks,yucks, beansprouts, tofu, some stringy green vegs, all disgustingly healthy stuff. The only meat was the chicken from the chicken soup. I am not against veggies, I think that It should be a part of our diet, but when you starve the whole day in sch expecting a hearty dinner, u get very disappointed at a meatless dinner. I was in need of dessert after dinner. AND THERE WAS NO CHOCOLATE IN SIGHT. Had to settle for some biscuits which so totally didn't hit the mark. Was so traumatized that I only started studying at 11. And now….starting to panic again…..Dear me…

Moral of the story: Never resist the urge to stock up on chocolates.

Went to school to study today. Bad mistake, not least because I failed to achieve anything substantial in the library,but because I was caught in the rain on the way home...bummer. My small umbrella proved useless against the relentless beatings of the rain and I was shivering in the air-conditioned bus. On the way home, was trying to take a nap to prep myself for another long marathon of studying at night. No such luck, i was sandwiched between two imps who were busy teasing each other, making funny faces at each other, talking to each other in nonsensical garble which was probably intelligible only to themselves. One of the imp's mother kept shushing the him, threatening to embarrass him in the bus(whatever it means) while the other boy's mother simply couldn't be bothered. So the boy whose mother couldn't be bothered kept baiting the other boy while he kept rising to the bait and as a result was scolded by his mother and also disturbed my peace. But I felt that the mother was being too domineering. If her kid wants to interact with another kid, let him be...I see no harm in that(other than disturbing my peace). Why did she have to keep admonishing him in a no-nonsense voice which didn't help at all, as he continued to squirm about in his seat and laughing at the antics of the other kid.

I didn't manage to stay off chocolate after all, the craving was simply too much and I went to the coop to buy the cadbury mini-eggs, all Jan's fault for introducing me to that ;p....anyway think its nicer than m&ns The first one that I ate was simply.....bliss...ahhhh

So the combination of excessive junk food, stress, lack of sleep, plus getting caught in the rain has led to my usual symtoms of falling sick...like being extremely thirsty and very tired. When I start getting these symtoms, I usually start drinking tons of water and taking more vit c and it usually works. so hopefully this would keep the bug away, I can't afford to fall sick now. I still have so many things left undone.

Anyway it was Stephen's birthday today and it was a very enjoyable lunch with Kaetnians as we goofed around and posed for pics with him, and sang a birthday song for him at the deck and thus attracting lots of attention which rendered him quite 'paiseh'. At least the trip to school was not wasted....

I am bored...

I am seriously bored

Feel like screaming

Feel like throwing my books out of the window

Why is it so difficult to get through these 11 days

Stressed....Shall go gym tmr to work out the stress...or should I go swimming? lazy arhhh, hard to get my butt of the chair.....

Ok back to work

yay!!! Finally a chocolate free day.. *pop champagne*

ok I am officially mad. Shall go to bed now, no point studying when nothing is obviously going in.

Hopefully tmr will be a better day. Shall tell myself I can do it...

Another unproductive week gone back. Ok, not that I totally have been slacking away and not touching my books at all, but I seriously wonder how much of what I have studied really went through my brain and been processed....Not much, I reckon. While ppl have been working really hard, the packed library can attest to that when you see everyone mugging away,its enough to make one's blood pressure go up. And no one's updating their blogs at all...its so boring when u go blog-surfing expecting to read on other ppl's juicy happenings when there is nothing new to read. Sigh.

Next week is the start of a new week, and I totally promise myself that I will really get down and tackle my books. It is not easy, in fact it'd be a major feat, to complete the readings of 5 modules in 2 weeks. But shit, unless I want to get kicked out of uni,i'd better get my act together fast. I shall think of the wonderful things to come after the exams. Go windsurfing,go wakeboarding, go clubbing, go max brenner with Jan, go outings with optoians, go chalet with kaetnians,pick up tennis, bake cookies/brownies/chessecakes(hope I haven't lost my touch) and so many more.....wow, can hardly wait

Now, hopefully thoughts of the good things to come will inspire me to greater heights...

Phew, finally everything is back to its normal state. Hope that everything would be alright for the rest of his time in Singapore. But this episode made me once again appreciate the presence of my friends. I received a pleasant surprise today from a friend whom I only knew recently through windsurfing. He read about my unpleasant day in my blog yesterday and downloaded a whole bunch of super super nice songs on a cd for my(which I am listening to now) and even got me some choc teddy cookies(the whole world knows about my obsession with all things choc), and went all the way to the lib to pass it to me. I was really touched that he went to all these troubles to cheer me up. The CD contains a lot of my all-time faves sentimenal, love songs and oldies....Ahhhh....how can I ever thank you enough. It might be a small gesture, but I appreciate it a lot. Thanks a lot, Liang, if u happen to be reading this, its really really really sweet of you.

Went to sch for the socie review lect and studied for a while in the lib. Wow,the sheer number of people mugging away there was really amazing and well, it did stress me out. Hopefully this would make me more motivated to study.

These days, I am bulldozing through at least a packet of chocolate daily, cadbury mini eggs, droste bittersweet pastilles, Hersheys kisses, Lindt choc....u name it. Its a wonder I haven't expanded horizontally. But I will soon if I don't stop SOON. Wonder what would happen if I don't get my daily serving, don't think I can survive anyway, will suffer from withdrawal syndrome. Will try to kick this addiction after the exam. Right now, I need this buzz that I get everytime I pop one into my mouth.

Feeling very down again. The day started out so nicely. It was in the afternoon that my mum and my stepdad started quarelling. He is back from Shanghai where he has a business there and would be in Singapore for two weeks before taking off again and I was hoping that it would be a peaceful two weeks, I was wrong. He is, I believe, suffering from severe obsessive compulsive behaviour where everything must be very clean, orderly and done his way, you get my drift. He is actually very nice to me, but when he is pissed, he can just rant on and on, not at me, but at my mum. So my mum usually bears the brunt of his temper regardless of whether she is at 'fault'.

I cam back from the gym to the sounds of raised voices and my heart quailed..not again, I thought. This time it was because of hair in the sink that I didn't remove, *roll eyes*, its soon moved off to other matters. Once he starts, he is unstoppable and will proceed to strip off every ounce of dignity my mum has. Of course my heart goes out to her, I tried but failed to find the right words to say. Besides, she was so hostile towards me that I didn't even dare to approach her. When my stepdad scolds her, she is usually very hostile towards me, and will usually take it out on me, probably because he scolds her instead of me. I feel that it is so unfair...I didn't even do anything wrong but she would just start giving me the cold treatment. So the whole afternoon, I had to tread around carefully and keep out of war's way.

Dinner was a chore. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. I kept my head down and minded my own business. They were still quarelling then. There was obviously no love lost between them. I wondered why two people who don't love each other anymore still stayed together. I felt perilously close to tears and shaken. I have gone through this many times in my years of living with them, but each time it happens, I always feel at a lost. Why is life so complicated? Why can't I have a normal family? Feeling so lost right now, wish I can have a shoulder to cry on.....

Don't have the mood to study now. Can't wait to get out of the house, its stifling me...

Too sinful???  

Chocolates

Chocolate Trivia

1.The Aztecs considered chocolate an aphrodisiac and subsequently all chocolate based foods were strictly forbidden to women.
2.Ironically, according to several studies, chocolate is the number one food craved by women.
3.Chocolate contains the same mood lifting chemical, phenylethylamie, produced by the brain when you fall in love.
4.Chocolate is an excellent source of vitamin E and a good source of phosphorous, calcium and iron.
5.There is no proof that chocolate causes or aggravates acne. Nor that it causes tooth decay. In fact, there are indications that the cocoa butter in the chocolate coats the teeth and may help plaque from forming.
6.Research at the University of California has found that chocolate carries high levels of chemicals known as phenolics, or antioxidants like those found in red wine, and may help lower the risk of heart disease.
7.White chocolate is not true chocolate because it contains no cocoa solids. Instead, it's usually a mixture of sugar, cocoa butter, milk solids, lecithin and vanilla, hence it's sweetness.
8.Chocolate should be stored, tightly wrapped, in a cool, dry place. If stored at warm temperatures, chocolate will develop a pale grey "bloom" caused when the cocoa butter rises to the surface. Under ideal conditions, dark chocolate can be stored for 10 years. However, because of the milk solids in both milk chocolate and white chocolate, the shouldn't be stored for longer than 9 months

Before you take a bite - smell the chocolate, breath in its aroma and take a good look at it. Is it shiny or dull? What is its color and texture? Much like a wine connoisseur, chocolate lovers consider appearance, smell and taste. True chocolate aficionados let the chocolate melt on their tongue and enjoy the various degrees of intensity and sensual feelings while it liquefies.
Professional chocolate connoisseurs have many terms to describe the texture, quality and feel of chocolate. Let's look at the texture of a chocolate bar first, how does it break? Does it crumble and splinter or is it a clean break coming off with a hard and clear "crack"? If it does, it's an almost sure sign of an excellent quality. Is the praline shiny and does it have a thin shell of chocolate surround it? Is it beginning to melt if you hold it between your fingers a few seconds? If it doesn't, it may contain a lot of vegetable fat.
Let's taste it now -- slowly let a square melt in your mouth or take a small bite from a praline. Does it melt nicely and smoothly, or does it leave a granular or "floury" feeling in your mouth? Granular residues may be the sign of too much sugar, which in turn may make you thirsty. Does it stick to your palate and require considerable pains to dislodge it from the roof of your mouth?..It shouldn't. Does it melt easily and change without much effort from solid to liquid without chewing it? If it doesn't, its too "dry." but the opposite, "fatty" will just leave that kind of taste in your mouth. It goes without mention . . . the less granular the texture, the smoother, the less fatty and softer melting, the better the chocolate!

Its been proven that chocolates releases endorphins. Good chemical to relieve our stress during exam time. All the more reasons to load up on it

Had a morning run. The transporter was occupied again, whats new. Seems like the gym is always so crowded these days, hmmm, everybody wants to get fit. Anyway, the person who occupied the transporter was like just 2 secs before me...damned damned damned...If only I had not lazed about in bed, still debating whether I was not lazy enough to go anot. But I ran 6 km, so proud of myself....alright, thtat was including the warm-up and cool-down,but still....I even brought along my mp3 to run to the sounds of black-eyed peas, beyonce, usher and such... Good thing too, cos someone was playing a Christmas songs in the gym. CHISTMAS SONGS???? So anti-climax...hello...its almost 1 1/2 months to go before christmas. Besides..its not exactly the best choice of songs in the gym eh? Puts one in a dreamy mood....haha

Anyway will be studying now.Hopefully I can make some headway. I will have some motivation today. Will be watching Shark's tale with Kaetnians today, so cool...think it'd be quite a good turnout. And will be doing a bit-o shopping with mum. Nothing like retail therapy to put one in a good mood.

Listening to: beyonce-Crazy in Love
Mood: Happy,optimistic

While everybody's been busy mugging for the exam, I have to admit that I am still taking things very easy. Thanx Adrian for your reminder. I lack wilpower, I lack motivation, I lack the drive. As my dad put it, I simply lacked the thirst for knowledge. These days,my results are mediocre, or worst still, below average for my essays despite stressing my ass off. Gone are the days where I could get high marks for my essays in secondary school. And for some reason, I always wait until the very last minute to do my assignments or even the presentation. It seems like when I have a lot of time on my hands, I will simply do other less important or even frivolous stuff. I only get started on it the day before it is due and I end up being so stressed or so pressed for time that I don't do a good job.

Taking about the presentation, I woke up later then my stipulated time of 6, which means I had no time to go through my presentation. I was seriously in a blind panic and very stressed. I was tense throughout and half of the time, didn't even know what I was talking about. I was suffering from acute stage fright. Anyway its something which I have no wish to go through again. I have always had difficulty expressing my view in front of a audience for as long as I can remember. Wait a minute, do I even have a view in the first place....Most of the time I am a passive listener, never questioning, never doubting, simply accepting. Sometimes not even listening....I do wish I can express myself as vocally as some people I know. I really admire them for their guts, but somehow, I don't know why, I just can't do it.

Now I have to try to study..seriously study before its too late...

Phew....another super long and tough day. Finally handed in my lit essay today after a dunno how many hours battle with it. And I couldn't rest after that. I had a SEA presentation the next day in a tutorial class who bombards you with questions after the presentation, and we were quite unprepared. In fact, we only officially met up and came up with the points today. Actually, I kept spacing out and couldn't think properly. We discussed until 6 and decided to call it a day and maybe discuss on MSN again later on.

The highlight of the day was going to Munchie Monkey Cafe for dinner. Hooray!!! We decided we needed to treat ourselves after everything. We ordered a calamari, a pizza and a pasta to be shared among three people, keeping in mind that dessert was on the agenda. The calamari was nice(tasted like the spaggedies' one anyway) but would have been better served with mayonnaise. The maincourse was well...it passed muster,but nothing spectacular there. Wahaha, I sound like a food-critic, even to myself. Wow how cool would it be to be a food critic, can go around sampling food. Ok stop dreaming.... Ok and the desserts were GREAT. I ordered a Italian chocolate cake with ice-cream. When I took the first bite, i was like wow. Very orgasmic...haha. It was warmed and the chocolatey and sticky cake went together with the cold ice-cream like yin and yang. It was just so delicious. I savoured every bite of it. The brownie was pretty good as well, and it came in quite a large portion. My only complain about the Italian chocolate cake is that it was too small, I couldn't get enough of it.

After the wonderful dinner, it was back to work again. But I realized after trying to read my readings for more background knowledge, that I was still at the same page after one hour. My brain had simply stopped functioning. Decided to have a good sleep and wake up at 6 to do it before the presentation, which would be at 9.

Dreamland, here i come

Today was quite a nice day. Had lunch with the usual Wed lunch gang from Kaetna and as usual we had tons to talk about. Somehow, we'd always have a weekly topic to discuss. Today, its was the relationship between males and females and the roles of each in society as compared to the olden times and the qualities we look for in a person to be out partner, so in tune with today's socie lect topic on gender. Its quite nice how we managed to stay so close after orientation and I really treasure the friendship that we have built. But it could be because we take similiar lectures together. Hopefully we will still be as united the next sem and even after that.

Just discovered waffles at coffee club xpress. Yummm, its delicious. The waffle was crispy and huge and simply yummy. The smell that was wafting around was simply too irresistable. But I was only given the choice of honey or butter or jam and I chose honey...silly me didn't ask for all three, and the lady simply put in a white paper bad without cutleries, so I got honey all over my fingers which I solved my licking...heehee....Okie no la, I washed it. Anyway after I downed it, another person walked by with the waffle with all three spreads on at least a paper plate and cutleries which make it so much more easier to savour it without all the mess...Damn. Apparently my appetite was still not satiated and I had another cheezy myshroom pie, planning on not having dinner. But unfortunately when I reached home,my stomach was growling again and I had a nice satisfying hot bowl of sliced fish porridge with my mum at the coffee shop near my house.

Phew tonite would be a busy night. I have to prepare for SEA presentation, write a 1000 words lit essay and read 3 chapters for socie for the quiz tomorrow. Oh dear, just the thought of it makes my head whirl. Better start cracking. Good thing I am fortified with coffee. Feels quite hyper now after the cafe latte I had on a relatively empty stomach. Hope I can last long and be productive...

The exams are coming in less than 3 weeks. Its therefore not surprising that everybody's blog, at some time or another will complain about the stress of the impending exam and due assignments and the stress of it all, and I am no exception. I am really stresses, but not doing anything about it.

Christmas is coming. The signs of it are everywhere. In orchard, christmas decorations are starting to take place. Christmas carols are played everywhere. Shopping centres are starting to stock up on christmas goods. Christmas is the season of love and giving. I love Christmas....I love the nostalgia it brings with it. I love everything about Christmas. But I have to admit its distracting. Who wants to study when Christmas is coming? Everytime I hear a Christmas carol, I just go all dreamy and day-dreamy. Wonder why Christmas has this effect on me?

I am finding it very hard to study. This morning, I had planned to wake up earlier to go to the gym in the morning. Excercising relieves stress and produce endorphins yeah? But when the alarm rang, I simply couldn't budge from the comfort of my bed. I burrowed deeper into my quilt. My limbs felt very heavy. I gave up and went back to sleep. Besides, I reasoned, I was still sick and it was not very good to excerise if one is sick. I could die from doing it.

Anyway, I guess I am sicker than I thought. I felt so dazed the whole morning. Nothing I was studying got past the thick fog surrounding my brain. I gave up and drank my favourite coffee with milo....still didn't help. Guess I was ill-treating my body, eating chocolates and cookies and all the caffeine despite being sick, how to get well? And lately, I am stuck on The honey mini teddy grahams that is sold in the coop. Can demolish a packet in one go. ...Sigh there I go, rambling on and on. TIme to get back to books. Still have driving lessons yesterday....oh cant believe I typed that.. I meant today...sigh this just goes to show the extent of my brain 'unfunctionality'

Feeling very down now. Just had a quarrel with mum yet again and this time its pretty serious. Dunno whats with all this quarrels lately, can't a girl have some peace of mind. This time I seriously didnt say anything to provoke her. Something just sparked her off and she can just go on and on and on......

Her words pierced into my heart
Sharper than the sharpest spear
My heart is bleeding
Who can see my pain

The tears dripping down my cheeks
In torrents
Are unstoppable

I hear laughter outside
Its halloween today
I can't seem to smile again
All the happiness sucked out of me

When will life be right for me?

Actually I did,someone sent me a really funny email and I couldnt help but laugh. Check out the link.

http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milano-Cat/7098/abc.html

Anyway I am reminded of JC days when I would have quarrels with my mum in the car before reaching school and my mood would always be very bleak and feel like I can never smile again. But somehow being surrounded by friends never fail to lift me up and I am soon laughing and smiling again. This song suddenly came to my mind and I think it is very meaningful. It taught me that I should never take my friends for granted. And I am really blesed to have so many friends around me who care about me and would be there for good times and bad times. Good friends which I can always count on. Thank you guys...love you lots

That's What Friends Are For
Dionne Warwick

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today and then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Ohh That's what friends are for