And so here are some long over due photos for christmas...





Clockwise from the top:

1. Izzy and me with Owen and Wilson
2. Izzy, Owen, Me and Ken
3. Me and Izzy with the big boss
4. Izzy and me with Sang Chin








On the left, clockwise from top,

1: The cute little doggy that I got from izzy
2. The infamous red thongs that I got as a christmas exchange gift from Sang Chin, complete with bells and holly and put in a tissue box. Who would have thought he would do such a thing..tsktsk
3.Me posing with doggy
4. Me again with santa cap

Me and Izzy in the office-Christmas Party 

Oatmeal raisin cookies, cheesecake and melted chocolate with butter for brownies. A night for multitasking 

My marbled cheesecake..doesnt it look delicious? 

So for the past two days, I was still down with flu(I think), minus the running nose. Felt terribly tired and dizzy-ish, but still had to go for work. Met up with Cecilia yesterday, with charlotte in tow at Great World City. She was being terribly mischevious again, jumping around all over the place and running everywhere. But she is sooo cute that you just have to forgive her. We had a lovely dinner at Ichiban Boshi, where I got to choose my favourite sushis from the conveyor belt. We proceeded to Zara where there was a sale going on. It was like a mad house in there, which totally turned me off shopping. And besides, the stuff were still pretty ex even after discounts. Charlotte chose that moment to 'poo'..hahah..so a hassled Cecilia had to rush off to the toilet to change her diapers. Poor thing, she looked so stressed out. Having to look after a child isnt easy at all, its a 24/7 job. After that little incident, we went back to shopping for Charlotte's new yr clothes. We parted quite early because I was feeling quite worn out already, after a long day. Charlotte gave me a big wet kiss and a 'I love you'...awwww..soooo sweet. I am glad I am an Aunty without having the responsibilities of a mother.

This morning, I came in to work all groggy and head whirling and all, thankfully it was a half day. I realize that I cant do without my morning cuppa cos my brain was totally not functioning at all and I was stoning at my computer for one hour before I decided to go buy. That particular teh tarik is the best, I would really miss it when I leave next week. And also the almond paste and mango sago at dessert hut. Izzy and I met Kelvin for lunch at China Sq, followed by dessert at dessert hut, though he didnt join us for that. We managed to get the last two mango sago of the day..heh..lucky us. And the waiter could recognize us cos we came by almost everyday.

I met Yumin for dinner at Holland V where we went to Essential brews. I love the ambience of the place. There are two levels, and the level upstairs doesnt have proper chairs, but instead cushions to seat on, japanese style. Note to self: Wear pants the next time. It was so difficult to seat properly wearing skirt and I could barely walk when we finally left. I was very satisfied with the food. We ordered a tea shake each, temptation island(which is green tea milkshake with a scope of vanilla icecream) and a Vanilla Obsession(earl grey tea milkshake and vanilla icecream). Both were very delicious and refreshing. We also orderd a earl grey sirloin beef steak for sharing and a focaccia with mushroom and cheese..which were yummy, though we couldnt really taste the earl grey flavour in the beef, it was tender and juicy. We had a great time chatting and chilling out. Though the bill came up to quite a hefty sum, but yumin had a discount voucher for it, so it wasnt too bad. After walking around for a bit, I headed home quite early for a much needed rest and private time.

Sometimes I do wonder...what am I actually good for? Its a rhetorical question which I don't even have the answer for...

Anyway, on a lighter note, I feel heavy..I havnt gone to the gym in ages, well, at least not as religiously as I used to-at least twice a week. Its so much harder to wake up early nowadays. Oh man, one of my new yr resolutions is to stop eating so much,starting from next yr. So now I am trying to compensate. Bad idea! Next yr would see a fitter me(hopefully).

And I have been coughing and sniffling and sneezing in the office, dry hacking cough, and feeling terribly sleepy..but work still goes on. Its definitely not easy meeting the quota, it means no slacking..sigh. I have been feeling sickish since yesterday, I guess the gluttony over christmas got to me.. The system was down early in the morning, that means we were unable to do work, so Izzy and I went for a morning stroll and hunt for food. I was being particular conscious of my diet today, so I only bought some herbal almond tea.

For lunch, for the first time since I started working, I had a proper meal of porridge cos I was craving for something nice and warm. But that didnt really sustain me for long, by 4pm, I was raiding the fridge for food again. I found some of my leftover cookies, and some chocolates, and also pork floss sticks and jackfruit chips from Sang Chin

And today, we experienced what you would call office politics, two females conversing over msn, referring to us as that two temp girls in very disparaging tones. One of them, has never been very friendly towards us, perpetually having a black face, and I have always steered clear of her. However, the other has always been very nice and friendly, and I would never have thought she would bad mouth us behind our backs, these goes to show looks can be very deceiving, and the nicer they look, the worst their bite, and they are also what I would call two headed snake. Very dangerous, and I do have a tendency to be quite naive about people. I guess their dislike could stem from the fact that we are on very friendly terms with the boss, especially Izzy, since she they go a long way back, and he is also particularly nice towards us, and always bantering with us. Female bitchiness...urghh. Oh well, I would be out of here in another 8 days, and honestly, I really cant give a damn what they say about us. Its the boss we wanna please after all, not them. And we have already tried out best to be nice, and if they don't like us, I couldnt give a damn.

I am so so so tired of working already..why is it that this holiday is so freaking boring. And the stress of cors bidding is upon me again. I havent planned my timetable yet, and I am so worried I cant get the modules I want, cos I am doing 6 mods next sem, and I have to be careful about what I bid for..strategic planning, I call it. Tough

Its been a great Christmas weekend, had a good rest, and also some lovely times with my family and friends. On Christmas eve, mum cooked Prawn Aglio Olio for lunch, salad, cream of chicken soup, and my cheesecake for lunch..The Aglio Olio was rather dry as compared to the ones outside, which I think they add tons of oil, but it was pretty yummy. In the evening, there was a cg gathering where we had dinner of fried beehoon, curry and fried chicken, courtesy of Steph's mum, and also jelly. There was so much leftover food and drinks that we had to play 'zong ji mi ma' to finish the food, thus resulting in everyone being full to the brim, and steph having stomach ache the next day...

On Christmas day, after a great church service at the Indoor Stadium, I went back to Dad's place. He was quite thrilled with my present of Godiva Chocolate and brownies, and I in turn got a lovely purple cross from him, so very unexpected. And I got a necklace from aunt aubrey as well..We stayed at home until evening, where we went all the way to expo to watch a magic show by FCBC with Aunt Aubrey and her family. It was pretty alright la, though I wasnt very impressed with the magic tricks. If you have seen one, you have seen all, especially if its David Copperfield.

On Boxing Day, after a lovely breakfast of tim sum at Tak Po with dad and aunt aubrey at Chinatown, I went off to meet steph who was leaving for Bangkok with the cg that evening. I rather regretted not being able to go along, but I guess I am too committed to work. So I went all the way to Changi Airport with him to send him off, and also to eat at Popeye's, my favourite buttermilk biscuits and fried chicken. My christmas present for him was a mini beanie handphone holder, and also some cheesecake and lots of cookies. Meanie beanie=mini beanie...get it? hahah, he was sooo touched by it cos it is something symbolic between us..and my christmas present from him is Miami Glow...hahah..strike another off my wishlist, and another bottle to add to my collection of perfumes. That tut actually put the perfume in a chocolate box, and I was exclaiming over how delicious it looked and opened it up to discover something else inside, but I was pretty thrilled...hahah..and there is also a private joke about that..

The journey home alone was pretty boring..and I spent the rest of the night slacking..and today, work was back to normal..Izzy and I shared the Portobello Mushroom burger from Carl's Junior today,at the price of $8 per burger, its bloody expensive, but its also very yummy, way better than the mushroom swiss king at BK, but duhhh. The way to eating it and not getting fat is to share it, cos each burger contains about a whopping 800 calories and more than 30g of fat. I also bought teh tarik..what would I do without teh tarik at work, it keeps me warm and awake..hahah..7 more days of work left before school starts..and for once, I cant say I am looking forward to that...sigh

Its been a super long day..but filled with fun and enjoyment. Yesterday after work, I got downto baking again. I decided the brownies from the previous day didnt meet my expectations, thus I made another one using another recipe. I was super afraid I would overbake or underbake it, this I watched over it constantly. The results were superb, the kind of brownie I love most. Fudgy, chewy, gooey with a thick and crunchy top. It was delicious, albeit ugly cos I couldnt cut it properly as it was too soft. And I baked my cookies as well and sealed it in small bags to be given out. And I also had to wrap some presents, so by the time I was done, I was super tired..

This morn, work went on as usual until 11am, when the preparation for the party began, though the guests only arrived at around 12. We blew balloons that had funny shape, and some people's imagination started running wild..hmm.. Then we had to go downstairs to bring up the catered food, and arrange it on the tables. There was quite a spread of food. Curry, baguette, springroll, otah, satay, Chen Fu Ji Fried rice, chicken wings, and of course turkey and roast beef. The brownies that I contributed was there as well, and was gone by the end of the party. I took out the marbled cheesecake last of all, and everybody raved about it, commenting that it was the best cheesecake they had ever tasted and that I should set my own bakery..hahah..my head swelled a few notches after that...hahah.. I was sooo happy that it turned out well, despite it being my 2nd attempt

The party was pretty fun and we went around taking pictures, which I would post later on. Then we had the gift exchange which was only for the staff. Everyone gathered around a table which had the presents on it and we were supposed to pick out a number. As I was the youngest, I got to go first..and I got a super kinky present from Sang Chin..hahh..which I didnt really expect of him. It was put in a tissue paper box, then stuffed with newspaper, and wrapped in a few layers of plastic bag. So much anticipation. Everybody held their breadth as I drew it out, and lo and behold, it was a red g-string..and not only that, it had 2 bells attached to it. Everybody was quite tickled by it, and my boss had quite a few things to share about ermm wearing it and turning men on...muahaha..guess everyone is pretty open minded around here, and he warned me against wearing it in the office..hahah..for obvious reasons. I got a really adorable lil doggy from Izzy which we had admired together during our lunch break shopping trip, and a lovely necklace.

By the time the party ended, it was around 3 plus, and Wilson offered to drive me and Izzy to Orchard. It was very nice of him as that area is jammed, and we were stuck there for pretty long. Actually I only went orchard to go to the lib..hahah..I wanted to get some presents, but changed my mind after seeing the long queues..I rushed home, bathed, and went out again, with Steph and his friends to catch The Chronicles of Narnia, which is a really awesome movie. After that was dinner at Zion Riverside Foodcentre which is actually my first time there despite it being practically just at my doorstep, and had a yummy fried hokkien mee.

Feeling super tired now, its been a long week..looking forward to christmas, which would be filled with activities... I doubt I would be blogging for the next 2 nights, so here is wishing everybody a blessed and joyful Christmas.

Phew..I feel so tired now, can finally rest a little. After a full day at work, I had to squeeze through the throngs of people at Orchard to buy some chocolates for gift exchange at my office, not just any chocolates, but Godiva chocolates. I also got some for dad too, cos he hinted not so subtly that he would love to try it. Then I had to rush to cold storage to buy ingredients for my baking, and carrying loads of heavy stuff, rushed home for dinner, and then started my baking marathorn.

Why marathorn, cos I was being ambitous. As I was supposed to bake for my office party on fri, and I also wanted to bake cookies as mass christmas present, I didnt want to leave everything till tmr, thus I decided to do as much as I could today. Sorry to brennan that I cant erm impart some of my skills as promised, but being so stressed today, and being such a perfectionist, I am sure I wouldnt have been a good teacher. Now I know why most chefs are grumpy and bad tempered..hahah..

What with endless measurements of ingredients, having to juggle a few things at one time, mum giving me the black face for turning her kitchen upside down..my nerves were quite frazzled..But the very first item that I baked turned out well..I tried baking marbled cheesecake for the first time in ages, I think its only my 2nd or 3rd attempt..and it was awesome..hahah..not that I tried it, cos it is supposed to be refrigerated overnight. But it marbled nicely and the top of the cheesecake didnt crack, and it was firm to the touch...I was so proud of myself that i was fill of self-praise..muahaah...the second item was oatmean raisin cookies. And I finally managed to achieve a nicely shaped and soft and chewy cookie, that I couldnt stop eating it...sigh..but that one is more for personal consumption cos most people don't like the chewy kind. But it really was awesome,with just a hint of cinnamon and choke full of raisins..

The last and definitely the lousiest was brownie. I used the same recipe as the previous time, and the baking time was about the same too, but yet it turned out overbaked it. The previous time it was way too underbaked, so much so that it couldnt stand by itself and this time its overbaked..sigh..so hard to get the timing right. I am quite fussy about my brownie, it must be fudgy instead of cakey...sigh..think I would bake another one tmr, this kind of standard how to let people eat, especially strangers where it is important to make good impression..heh. never know when I would get a paying customer eh. Maybe I would start a online baker thingy on my blog..still toying with the idea..

Anyway I can finally rest a little. I also made the dough for my standard choc chip cookie, but didnt bake it today due to lack of time, so I wrapped the dough and refrigerated it so that I can bake it tmr without all the hassle. Phew, the hard part is done. I still havent gotten most of my christmas presents though. But come to think of it, I refuse to buy something just for the sake of giving it, if its not useful or relevant..giving can be done anything, why must it only be during christmas?

Thank you for not letting go, thank you for pulling me up to safety. I am so glad that I hung on and never let go, cos for you, it was worth the wait. I just hope that we can both hold on tightly and never ever let go...

I went to watch Perhaps love today. It was really a beautiful love story, that made me keep dropping tears throughout cos it reminded me so much of my own.

Sometimes I do feel like I am holding on to a rope, suspended maybe 10meters off the ground. It is not a long distance, but if I fall, its enough to cause lots of pain, and maybe a broken bone or two. I am holding on tightly for my dear life, getting tired with every passing time, getting weary, hoping against hope that I would be pulled up to safety. I know that if I just let go, I can just grit my teeth, endure the pain and move on, and the pain would eventually go, no matter how deep it is. After all, hanging there forever is not the solution. But yet I am scared to let go, scared of the pain it would cause. A few times, just when I thought maybe help was on the way, I get pulled up a little higher, but still left hanging there. I am left feeling disappointed again. Feeling disgusted with myself for being such a coward, but yet still grabbing on, feeling myself slipping further and further(newton's 3rd law+slippery hands). Inner turmoil within me, being suspended on the rope would bring me nowwhere, life is at a standstill. The only solution is to let go, break some bones, find some doctors to heal my wounds,move on with life. But yet, I am still holding out hope, for my would-be rescuer. Hoping and hoping, how long would I hope and wait? I know the longer I hang, the higher I go, the weaker I get, the harder I would fall, but I just can't stop clinging to that last bit of hope. Maybe it'd be better for u to yank the rope off if you don't intend to save me, since I apparently can't make up my mind...It is less cruel this way..

I had no lunch kakhi for lunch today cos Izzy had something on and did not come for work. Thus I walked to China Square for lunch again. This time, I decided to explore further, and came upon Ya kun, and had a nice buttery kaya toast. After that, I explored further and came across Don-your personal pie club, selling pies, kueh lapis, and cakes. A chocolate cheesecake,at the price of $2.50 and I happily bought it...and it was pretty yummy...I am really happy to be working here, discovering new eats everyday..hahah..there is really everything, ubiquitous cafes...think I would balloon by the time I stop working here...haha..seriously, how not to, now that I don't have the discipline to wake up in the morning to go gym, and I am sitting down so much, and eating so much too..

After work, I walked to Raffles City to meet brennan to celebrate his birthday which was yesterday. We went to Cafe Cartel again, and walked right in before waiting to be sitted..hahah..very kiasu singaporean i know, but oh well. What to do when everyone else is standing there, not being served? He had the St louis pork ribs while I tried the fish and chips, didnt feel very hungry cos before that I was eating popcorns(again)..hahah..but at the price of $1.50, its really the cheapest and one of the nicer popcorns around, sold at Cafe Noel at Raffles City. Brennan eats super slowly man, for a guy..hahah..his ribs came way before my fish, and yet I finished eating faster than him. And he has the cheek to say that he is ahem civilised, meaning I am not. And he kept 'suaning' me throughout dinner too, some friend...hahah. I chose a bittersweet chocolate fudge cake for dessert. At first bite, it tasted really normal, like any other ordinary chocolate sponge cake. But the more I ate, the more I liked it, cos the chocolate fudge more than made up for the ordinariness of the cake, and its not sweet at all,and very fudgy. The cake was actually made up of two layers of chocolate sponge cake, with layers of thick bittersweet fudge in between,really sensational..

This week actually just flew past..and surprisingly, I do enjoy work though I feel so drained everyday after work. And though I am paid lesser and I am working harder than I used to. Still, I am not complaining. And I actually feel guilty when I slack, so I would make up for it by working harder..

Going to enjoy my weekend to the fullest...wheee..going sentosa tmr...

I woke up late today..cos I had forgotten to set my alarm, and blissfully slept until 8.25, a much needed sleep. I was out of the house in less than 15mins,hoping that I would catch the bus. No such luck though, the bus left when I was crossing the road, and I couldnt dash across because of all the cars zooming towards me, though I was very tempted to. So I was late for work..

During lunch, I dragged Izzy to china square to satisfy my craving for sesame cream again, one of these days, I am really going to get sick of it...hahah..then we went shopping around the area, and she bought some stuff, though I resisted the impulse....

Work was pretty good today, think I am picking up speed, though I still do not know if I have hit the quota cos I stopped counting, but I know I have been hard at work..pretty hard la, apart from disturbing my next door neighbour Izzy..so funny, we chat on msn though we are sitting next to each other.

Its been exactly two weeks since.....and I dare say life has become regained a semblance of normality again. It feels surreal, that we are chatting on msn, seeing each other, as if nothing has happened. What happened(before I go mad explaining to everybody) is that we have decided to cool off and remain as friends because the timing is not right. Well actually it is alot more abstract than that, but I don't feel like going into details. It was an extremely difficult step for both of us, but I truly believe that it is for the best. It is not easy to give up things that you hold on tightly too, but what is to be will be, there is no knowing what the future would hold. Go with the flow, I say. No use looking back ,always look forward in life, and only look back with fondness.

Saying that, I wonder when things would truly become normal, when my heart don't leap at the sight of him, when my skin doesnt tingle with even the slightest contact,when I can stop missing him. When my heart would stop aching so much. Perhaps it takes time. Time would heal all wounds...

So here's a little more update on what happened yesterday. I went for dinner with Ken, Izzy, owen and wilson. Actually I wanted to go home after work, but Boss invite me for dinner, how can I refuse right? And I figured that dinner won't take that long anyway. Ken is the boss by the way, constantly teased about his age(44), but always maintains that he is young and good-looking. What can I say man? Boss is always right..hahah. So Ken drove me to town in his Lexus where I met Izzy, Owen and Wilson at Cineleisure. Owen has a reputation as a ladies' guy and is supposedly commitment phobic. But I still don't think he is that good looking..but oh well, I hear stories in office about how girls throw themselves at him...

We had dinner at PastaMania where we all had a pasta each, plus 2 pizzas to share. Dinner was filled with lots of dirty jokes and laughter. Tales about Owen and his notorious reputation, Wilson being gay...Actually I felt pretty out of place, what with 3 wordly men, but I soon got used to it, esp with Izzy around. After dinner, we went to Starbucks for coffee where there was more jokes, more talk, and more conspiracy between the 3 guys, though luckily, I didnt think it involved me..heh. I went home soon after that, being instructed by mom to go home early. Oh well, it was certainly 'educational' in a way, and I did enjoy myself.

Today, work went on as usual. Though by the end of the day, I was so tired out at looking at endless resumes...and there is nothing to look forward to after work, so boring..unlike last week where I was out almost every night..

I need to do my christmas shopping soon..

I am so so so tired today. I think the stress of work is starting, I didnt feel it so much because I was sort of slacking. I started on my real work today, before that was just doing some calling, so it was pretty easy. Basically my job is to look through resumes, extract the important information, and key it into a database. Sounds easy right? I thought so initially, and it was a good opportunity to learn from good and bad resumes. However, there is a quota to be met, which is 60 a day, doesnt sound like alot, but that means that I have to complete one in 10mins. So far, I have had difficulty meeting the quota, i only did 30 today, and felt so guilty. Cos initially, I took quite long, reading through everything, and especially for long and wordy ones), it was super hard, and very very tiring. Imagine staring at the computer screen for a few hours, rushing through different resumes, brain actively working, fingers moving. It required lots of concentration cos I really wanted to do a good job. So by the end of the day, I was so super drained. Hopefully with time(by tmr), I would get more adept at skimming through and extracting important date. And I still love my job..hahah..for once..

I miss my lunch kakhi izzy too..hahah..hope she comes back soon. Though today I had a pretty fun time exploring raffles place. Went to The Arcade and got myself a yummy peanut pancake and explored the shops there. I like seeing well-dressed ppl around(read high flyers), and I tell myself, maybe..just maybe, one day I would be like them too. After that I got myself my daily cuppa of almond teh tarik from China Square and went back to work. And when I am hard at work, the time just zooms past, its amazing. And just yesterday I was lamenting that time passed too slowly for my liking, yet today, I was wishing I had more time.

Actually I still have lots of things to blog about, but I think I am going to bed already...sooo tired..

It was raining cats and dogs early in the morning, just as I was rushing to work. Bad luck, but thats not the worst of it all. As I stepped on the highly polished and incidentally wet marble floor at the lobby of my office building, I slipped and came crashing down right on my tush, in full view of all the working people...oh gosh, I could feel my face flaming in shame. I laid there, stunned for a moment, the excruciating pain making me unable to move. Thank goodness, a very nice twinkly eyed caucasian guy extended his hand to me and helped me to my feet. As I thanked him and walked away, I felt the impact of the fall on my butt as well as my arms ....sigh..what a thing to happen, great way to start the day

I went clubbing at Zouk tonight, after an absense of about a year. It felt good initially, the sense of anticipation. It took me all of 10mins to get ready, and another 5mins to take my time to stroll leisurely there, and reached around 10.45. The scene that greated me was a mass of people or queuing up to get in. It was fun to check out cute guys, look out for familiar faces and everything...

By the time we got in, put out bags, bought the drinks and got ready to dance, it was around 11.45, and the dance floor started to get very crowded indeed. Me and cindy and brennan just found a spot and started dancing, and it sure felt good to dance without caring if anybody else thought it was sucky, and just gyrate along to the beat of the music. Cindy and I had a wild time dancing with each other, ppl probably thought we were les...muahaha. After that,we decided to abandon brennan to go Phuture, which was if possible, even more crowded, so much so that we could barely squeeze through the crowd to find an empty dance spot. Even though I loved the
music and there were more cute guys around, and we also bumped into some AC ppl whom we recognized. What I found super irritating was the fact that people were constantly moving about and you can't really dance there, but 'squirm' about, and I quite being pushed about, bombarded left right front back. We finally left around 2 as I was super tired of 'non' dancing,and also actually rather tired after dancing nonstop for about 3hrs, and also because I was super disgusted that there was this guy near me who perspired so much that it actually flew all over...yucks yucks yucks. It was hard trying to keep a distance, and in the end I just gave up and left.

And guess what, when we came out, it was pouring heavily. We had no choice but to run in the rain to the taxi stand, and I got all wet in the process..

It was quite fun la, after missing in action for so long, but I guess despite everything, I don't think I would go again anytime soon, probably once more before sch reopens or smth. Now, I am blogging cos I am waiting for my hair to dry, and I still have to work tmr, oh well, at least work is not that bad, and the office ppl are very nice. I shall elaborate more tmr..ciaos

ps: pardon me for any grammatical errors or whatever mistakes and also the rather inchorent ramblings..guess I am super 'seh' now...

Tomorrow marks the end of my holidays. Well, sort of, since I would be starting work tomorrow. Its a desk bound job which is sort of like data entry. I have mixed feelings about it. One part of me would just like to slack at home and go out with friends. The sensible part of me says that its a good way to earn money, meet people and also make myself useful since I have nothing else to do anyway. I am sort of looking forward to the socializing part...heheh

So I have spent the last two days making enjoying myself, since once I start work, I will have precious little time to go out with friends. I went shopping yesterday and today..heh..purchases? Not much,hahah..just one lovely esprit green capris which cost quite a bomb, oh well, I figured I deserved a reward, and there is nothing like retail therapy to perk one up.

On monday, I met up with yumin and cindy for lunch at Miss Clarity Cafe again, a cheap and good eat. The valrona hazelnut cake was sooooo good, with a lovely crunchy praline base topped with smooth truffle...after lunch, we just walked around Bugis, and Jules joined us..and it was quite a nice bonding session.

Today was a reeally lovely day. I met up with Derek at food republic for lunch and I had the hokkien mee again, and this time I took the picture..heheh..doesnt it look totally delectable and moist and yummy, and he was so generous with the prawns today, though I don't really like to eat prawns, shelling and all. After that we went to Orchard lib to slack for a bit before he headed off for his chalet and I headed off to buy my capris(which I had been eyeing and thinking about since mon,so it wasnt an impulse buy). And thereafter met cousin Cecilia and charlotte.

We had coffee at Bakerzin where we had a good time chatting and catching up on each other's life. After that, we just shopped around orchard. My niece charlotte is such a bundle of joy, sooo cute, but yet quite a handful with the tendency to throw tantrums, but yet can be the sweetest of all toddlers... I am smitten by her...hahh..When we were at tangs, she actually dragged me up and down the stairs and threatened to cry when I wanted to carry her off somewhere. And I had to chase after her to make sure she didnt break any things. But it was lovely holding her hands walking about and hugging her...having the fun and without the heavy responsibilities that come with being a mother. And she is such a cherub, with big eyes and rosy cheeks.

After walking around for about 3hrs, we finally stopped by Island Cafe at Tangs for dinner. I had been hearing lots of good things about it, and was happy to be able to try it. Its a lovely place tucked away in a corner at the 4th level. They serve mainly local cuisine,though they also have yummilicious looking cakes on display. After much dithering, I decided on the black pepper crab tunghoon, which looked interesting. And it definitely did not disappoint. It came, wafting out aroma of the promise to come. It was delicious,very flavourful, and topped with soft shell crab, and a tangible peppery taste.

What a totally lovely day, I even got a early christmas present from Cecilia- a Milk Frother..haahh...now I can make real cafe latte and hot chocolate at home...and make it as frothy as I like...wheee...

Have to go sleep now...have to wake up early for work tomorrow...oh nooooo..

Here is a shout-out to all my concerned friends who have been asking after me, with special thanks to Jules, Izzy, Derek and Brennan, for being there when I was at my lowest, for offering words of comfort and so much more. So blessed to know I have such friends .I am back...hahah..after a few days of grieving and thinking and reflection. A little wiser, a little older, a little sadder, but nontheless still up and bouncing, with a positive outlook in life. We can't always have ups and no downs right, that would make life so boring and make us complacent. Its only when bad things happen when you start to appreciate what you have in your life. I won't pretend I wasn't affected by what happened, but for me, life still goes on.

I learnt what wonderful friends I have. I learnt what wonderful parents I have too. I called Dad up at night, and didnt say a single word, but started crying over the phone, and he was so concerned and worried for me that he wanted to come look for me right then. Then on saturday night, he made me a vanilla vodka with tonic water(how cool is he), and just let me pour out my sorrows and listened and offered constructive advice and also his shoulders to cry on. I wouldnt say the same for mum, but she stopped what she was going to scold me about upon seeing my swollen eyes, but I didnt tell her the full story cos she already had her own views and comments and I knew whatever I said wouldn't make any difference. But at least for the next couple of days, she was nicer to me and stopped giving me the cold treatment(that has been going on like forever).Most importantly, I learnt that God's unfailing love which is his promise to us would be my comfort and strength. He has his own perfect timing and plan for everything, all I have to do is trust in Him, that he would make my path straight again.

No loss, no regrets, but always have beautiful memories that can't be erased. No doubt I would still feel pangs of sadness when I think back of the good old days, revisit certain places. But time can't be turned back. And nobody knows what the future would hold. So the only thing to do now is to move on and let things take its own course. I am amazed that I bounced back so fast, from feeling so totally miserable to optimistic again...hahah..what can I say? Live life to the fullest!!!

I guess this is goodbye for now
Words are beyond me now
But I just can't close the floodgates
.........................

When I hear this song, its just tugs at my heartstrings, and I am reminded of when it first started, so many months ago..

Late at night when all the world's sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too
'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's no where in the world
I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
dreaming about you and me

All the long chats into the night, all the sweet nothings.. I don't know what happened. Maybe I am ultra sensitive, but something's different now, somethings's missing..and it makes me so sad..I dunno what else to say....sigh

Now that exam is over, I feel so sian..hahah..how ironic is it. Before that, I was counting down to the days I would be rid of it, yet the very day it ends, I have nothing to do. The thought of holiday coming does not exactly fills me up with joy. Before that, there was at least an aim, to study for exam, but now, no aim no nothing, just drifting along. I suppose I would be working, but apart from that, there is nothing to look forward to at all..sigh... lets just hope its just a passing feeling, this feeling of lethargy and moodiness..

After the paper, me and steph headed down to orchard for lunch at the newly opened Food Republic. Its really an amazing place, with a rustic feel with the modernity of a food court and filled with so many things to tempt. After walking one round and looking at plates of food, I headed straight for the famous Hokkien Mee stall where there was quite a bit of queue. Though the glass panel, the chef can be seen at work and it was pretty fascinating to watch him cooking the noodles. It was delicious, filled with 'wok hei' which is a cantonese term used to describe food that is cooked in a well used cast iron wok over high heat with a deliciously smoky taste. It was moist and flaovorful. The prawns that came with it was big and fresh. Very satisfying lunch, I would definitely be back for more.

After that , we just walked around orchard and also to the library. Nothing better than to curl up on my bed with a good trashy novel(how oxymoronic) and with chips. I got my wish today..hahah...Prepped with Ruffles chips, a good book, I just flung myself down when I got home and refused to budge an inch. Thats what a slacker I am..

Oh, and I also got a belated birthday present from my dear cousin Cecilia who passed it to me when we were in orchard today. I swear my niece charlotte is getting cuter and cuter by the day. Guess what it was...

It was no less than a Yves Saint Laurent perfume called Baby Doll. Check out the packaging. All furry and sweet and PINK!!! Haha, I am really smitten by it. The bottle is so pretty. And there is a light shimmering effect when sprayed onto the skin. Check out the description I got from the net, must have some background knowledge of the fragrance I am using, rite? hahah

Baby Doll by YSL for Women Year Introduced: 1999 Scent Type: Floral- Fruity Top Notes: GrapeFruit, Red Current, Rhubarb Heart Notes: Rose, Freesia, Ginger, Cardamon, Cinnamom Base Notes: Pomegranate, Grenadine, Cedarwood, Peach

"Baby Doll steps out on the arm of Parisian couturier Yves Saint Laurent. A fresh floral concoction, Baby Doll is attired in playful shades of cotton-candy pink. The sweet, pink-tinted floral bouquet is youthful and carefree, perfect for springtime in Paris--wear Baby Doll with a cheerful attitude.

I am so happy, this perfume suits me right to a T..thank u so much Cecilia...hahah...u just made a girl very happy

Sometimes I think that my mother is beyong reasoning, beyond comprehension. We had a huge fight just now, over a negligible matter yet again. And I simply feel so drained and exhausted, I cant even concentrate on studying properly, cos I am so bothered by it, and filled with regrets too, lots of it. Yet again I failed to reign in my temper, so maybe thats my fault, but there is only so much verbal abuse a person can take. Somehow I felt the need to defend myself after having been wrongfully accused, but she just distorted everything I said. With all due respect, I tried to explain myself patiently, and even injected some humour into the exchange to lighten things up, and she just took it for insolence. The worst was when she asked me if that is the correct behavior of a Christian. That just struck me right through my heart. I really could have asked the same of her, but what for..

Oh, I am really so tired of all this. I am not absolving myself of blame..on the contrary, I am filled with guilt. For once, I am not dismissing the matter to the back of my head because I simply couldnt give a damn...

I found this verse from the bible 1 Peter 2:23: While being reviled, Jesus did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously. I just keep this in mind. There is no need to defend myself really, cos the truth is between me and God. Somehow after blogging this, I feel more at peace with myself. Its really good to have an outlet for frustrations sometimes.

Now, hopefully back to studying for my last paper tmr..I smell freedom soon.

After the long and tiring and stressful week, the weekend was extremely stress-free. To the point that I almost deceived myself into believing that exams are over. I have been in such a slack mode, suffice to say that there was not much studying done. I had a wonderful treat from dad yesterday night, I guess it was his way of rewarding me after a long week. Dinner(I get to choose) was at Fish and Co, I was craving badly for some unhealthy, deep fried stuff, and I got it..hahah..I chose the Fish & Chips without any hesitation. Dad chose the New york Fish&Chips, which was new on the menu, its like the original one, just with additional cheese stuffing. Aunt Aubrey had the baked salmon.

After our food came, apart from the swapping of food, silence reigned. We were all busy enjoying our food to talk much, especially me. I slowly savoured every mouthful of the lovely battered fish, deliciously light and crispy batter, with fresh and tender fish inside, with generous tartare sauce. It was total enjoyment for me. I had the buttered rice instead of the fries as I don't really fancy fries much, the rice is so much nicer, flavourful and fragrant. After trying Dad's NY fish and chips, I decided that the original one is still nicer. Cheese is undeniably nice(think cheese prata, pizza, cottage pie, quiche), but I just prefer the unadulterated flavour of the original fish and chips, plain and simple and nice. The baked salmon was a healthier alternative to all the fried stuff, complete with omega 3 and all that, but topped with a lovely mushroom cream sauce, I suspect its just as nice...hahah.

After dinner, Dad drove all the way to this little hideaway in Siglap called the Cheesecake Cafe. Guess you can tell from the name the specialty..hahah.. Dad and Aunt Aub discovered this place some time back, and dad was raving about their chocolate cheesecake, and I have been begging to try,so I finally got my wish...woohoo. As it was chilly, we sat outside. The place is so perfect for chilling out, and I guess it has already established quite a reputation cos there was non-stop flow of people. We had the chocolate cheesecake(of course) and a walnut cheesecake. I must say the walnut cheesecake needed more walnuts in it and lacked the creaminess of Bakerzin's one, but I found no faults with the chocolate cheesecake. It was bliss at first mouth. Rich and decadent, but not overly sweet. Its the stuff of every chocoholic and cheesecake lover's fantasy. After that, as I went inside to go to the toilet,I passed by the counter. Just a small digression, the place only has one unisex toilet,so yeah, queing for it can quite pretty unpleasant, especially if your bladder is full. Back to the display counter, i saw more wonderful stuff. There was blueberry cheesecake, Oreo cheesecake, Strawberry oreo cheesecake, rum and raisin cheesecake, very yummy looking peanut butter cheesecake, peach cheesecake...etc. Other offerings included chocolate truffle, tiramisu and chocolate banana cake.. oh man, temptation abounds in there. The interior of the restaurant is really lovely, dimmed lighting and filled with cosy couches. Really nice ambience, I can just forsee myself spending a lazy afternoon there chilling out...hahah..

The Cheesecake Cafe
685 East Coast Road
Singapore 459054
Tel: 64487725
Closed on Mon and Tues
Open:Wed - Thur : 4.30pm - 12am
Fri : 4.30pm - 12.30am
Sat : 3.30pm - 12.30am
Sun : 3.30pm - 12am

I have finally gotten through the week. Its been a very tough week, to say the least, especially the past two days, filled with stress and emotional breakdowns, but at least its over now. I still have one last paper next tues, and meanwhile, I've been slacking, reading harry potter books and all. Yesterday was the toughest day, the morning paper was alright, it was the evening paper that had me all tired out, and after that, I had to rush home to study for the next paper this morning. I stoned until 11pm before I started studying, and finally went to bed at 3am. I really couldnt think properly, with all the things that I have read, its like information overload, you dont know which one is important. And the paper this morning, I couldnt even remember certain definitions..sigh, at least its all over now. I really do wonder why people can write so much in the short span of 2hrs. I see everybody around me handing in two booklets, when I cant even finish one booklet.
















Throughout this period, the most memorable thing has to be studying in AS3 classroom with isabelle and derek. To Isabelle, thank you for hearing all my probs and being such a source of comfort when I am feeling down, even though you have your own problems to deal with as well. I really appreciate it. Its quite amazing that, we grew apart during the semester, but during exam time, we got closer again. To my 'twin', * big hugz*.


And also derek, who has been tolerating my nonsense, bullying and bodily noises, especially pre and post lunch time, its always good to have u around cos of your lameness and ability to crack hilarious jokes, though I still think u mustn't have such stereotypical view of gender eh? ;-) Always going to school so early to chope the classroom. Whenever I want to study in school, I can always be sure that you would be there.

Lets hope we keep this tradition of mugging in AS3 whenever exam is around the corner.

Now, I can finally have a few days of stressfree studying, after the supremely intense past 26 hours...

I am absolutely amazed that I am still up and still pretty alert, if stoned. There is also the tendency for the world to sway around a little when I stand up, but its perfectly understandable given that I have sat without moving for 3hours without moving my butt, trying to finish doing summary for readings for mass media and culture, the nightmare of all my modules. Its really seemingly endless....bleah...going to bed soon, don't think I can take it anymore, but I am amazed at how ppl can pull off all nighters for studying, cos I know I cant...zzzzz..stoned, incoherent, panda eyed...' occupational' hazzard of being a student

Why am I even bloggin this..hahah..guess I am just bored

From happiness to grief all in the span of one day
I don't know what to do
Or what to say
I feel so helpless at times
Each tear that drops from your face
Cuts right through my heart
All I can do is hold your hands
Hold you tight
Because when words fail me
You have my assurance that
I would always be here for you
Offering what little I have to offer

Today was my darling's birthday and we celebrated it for him in school. Yup, in and empty classroom at As3. It was a surprise celebration, though I am sure he had some inkling of what was going on as I was the one who told him to come to school to study. Study, we did. But there was also lots of fun and picture taking. I went to taka to buy a mini sized birthday cake, and managed to stow it in my bag without him being the least suspicious(thats why i like big bags..hah). His bday prezzie was the Apple Mighty Mouse. How mighty it actually is, I don't know, but I am glad he loved it

After lunch at the deck..it was cake cutting session. It was Raspberry nougatine cheesecake from Swissbake. They had a whole range of mini cakes and I had difficulty choosing as it all looked so yummy. It was kinda soft when it was cut, and kind of mis-shapened after being in my bag for so long, but it was still delicious, with a shortbread crust, chocolate sponge, followed by cheesecake and then a layer of raspberry mousse, topped with strawberries. There were only 5 of us, and we managed to finish it all up.

After that was merry photo taking session. Guess we were all stressed out by exams..pictures would be posted up later. We managed to study for 3hours before heading to his house for dinner.

It was really a lovely day which I thoroughly enjoyed..back to muggin now

I am suddenly stuck by the urge to blog. Exam is in 6 days, and suddenly I just feel so light hearted. It could be the godiva chocolate that I ate just, all the coffee that I drank(I have been drinking coffee like nobody's business). I just feel like jumping up and down like a little kid.

Went to Orchard lib to study today, with a nice cup of ice-blended coffee. I studied like 1hr there and spent 2 hrs walking about...hahah..Christimas is coming!! Everywhere you go, you see christmas decorations and all the christmas carols being played..

I love christmas....wheeee..cant wait for exams to be over

I think I caught some bug, cos I have been feeling sick the whole day and yesterday as well, the generally feeling of malaise. Legs aching, awful cramps, and whirling head, itchy throat and nose, what good timing. The aching legs was because I went running yesterday, after stopping for a couple of months. I covered 5.5 km in 35mins,including warm up and cool down. It was not alot la, but I guess I overdid it as I almost could not move after I stepped down from the treadmill, and probably also because I didnt do proper warm up...

Had dinner with dad where we went to eat at Lamian. I chose some beef stew Lamian, a deviation from my normal order of wanton Lamian, which I threw out almost half of the beef as it was all fats..eeks. At night, we went out for dessert with Aunt aubrey at Coffee club where we ordered a tiramisu mudpie which was delicious and a chocolate peppermint cake which was so- so. There werent much choice left as most of the cakes we wanted were sold out, rats! I also ordered a ice-mocha vanilla drink which was very delicious.

I spent the rest of the night watching television and the rest of today sleeping and trying to study without much success...sigh...I feel horrible..and also the familiar feeling of fear is creeping up on me again. I call it the exam bug.

I am freaking pissed now. Why? Very few things make me angry, and one of them is my mum. You know the feeling of being maligned? Thats the worst feeling of all, you know you are innocent, but the other person just won't believe you. And its over such a small, stupid thing.

We were coming home from lunch today, opened the door, and out shot my 2 dogs( I dun want to go into a long story about the temperaments of my dogs). I just made a offhand comment, that Joy(my westie) was quite paranoid cos everytime she sees me carrying my big bag, she would run away to hide. Mum, predictably, jumped to her defence. I started to say,"but do you...." I wasnt given a chance to finish my sentence before she jumped to the conclusion that I thought she didnt know what 'paranoid' meant, then she started saying that I looked down at her, that I thought her command of english is poor, blah blah blah, now that I am a university student, can look down at her....and she started ranting on and on...and proceeded to give me the silent treatment throughout the day, and I am sure for a long time to come..

I am like wtf, you didnt even give me a chance to hear me out before you jumped to your own conclusion. That wasnt what I meant at all. Does she listen? No!!!

I am trying so hard to be patient, to be a 'good' daughter. Its really very hard. How not to argue back?Swallow my pride. Yup, thats what I did. Hiding in my room for the rest of the day till dinner time which was such a strained affair. She had to ruin the day for me. Thanks alot..Sometimes you wonder why your own mother starts treating you like a stranger. Would there ever be a day we can really put aside out differences. I sincerely doubt so(incidentally HP is back),which could explain her behaviour, but thats simply no excuse.

Or maybe its just me...

I had a fantastic day today with steph..hahah..its been such a long time that I really let down my hair, but today, both of us were just mad, making lame jokes and laughing hysterically..and travelling all the way to Bukit Timah from school for food.

First stop was at Island Creamery located at Serene's Centre which is opposite Adam road market. I heard about this place from Swi(thank u for recommending it gal!) and we had quite a bit of adventure finding the place, not knowing exactly where is it. And on the way, I came upon this treasure of a place called Tierney's Gourmet, which is actually a pretty small supermarket selling, well yeah, gourmet food. All sorts of lovely sausages and the likes. There were also othe chocolates and biscuits and all. I was so excited when I saw the place, and we just had to go in, though all I bought was a box of Nestle Hot Chocolate-Double Chocolate Meltdown. It tastes just as its name inplies. Oh yeah, I digressed. Anyway, the ice-cream place is a little nondescript place which you would not have noticed had you not known its there. Its really a gem of a place. They have interesting flavours like Teh Tahrik, Horlicks, Bandung, Pulau Hitam, Kahlua latte, burnt caramel etc... We tried Teh tahrik, kahlua latte and burnt caramel. I tell you, they were delicious, especially the teh tarik one which tasted exactly like the real thing, just in ice-cream form. At the price of $2.50 or $4 for a double scoop, it was really worth the trip.

After that, we had trouble deciding where to go for dinner, and in the end decided to go Beauty world food centre for my much missed Almond cream which incidentally was sold out :( . But...I discovered another treasure, which is a stall called Top One Hand- made noodles which has the best dry handmade noodles(gan lao mian) I have ever tasted. Its fiery hot and comes with a special black sauce, with mushrooms and clams. But nothing else mattered other than the sauce..seriously kick-ass, and I had to wait pretty long for it, so I guess it's pretty popular. And I really savoured every bit of it, though I had what you would call bee stung lips after eating it, so spicy was it. So be warned, unless you can take super spicy stuff, do keep away...hahah..

So satiated now....burp

I survived the week, just barely though. It was one of the most stress filled and draining week of my life, and I am just glad its over.

The worst day has got to be thurs, where I had to wake up at 5.30am, facilitating at ACS Barker for two classes of sec 1 kids, where they were one of the rowdiest bunch of kids I had ever come across. Adorable? Sure, but also very hard to control. When I walked out of the place, I felt like all my energy had been sapped out of me and that I had screwed up big time, which I had. Good for my morale, I am sure, especially since I had to rush back to school for a presentation, and you know how much I hate presentation. I hate the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, and right before my turn, my heart was thumping so heart and furious and I was just so tense. And when I got up to speak, my first few sentence were incoherent and intelligible, I don't even recall what I said when I was up there...but phew, it was over soon enough. When I got home, I couldnt do anything else, but I had to do reports for the facilitation, as well as compile results for the evaluation forms.

The next day, the whole cycle started all over again. Waking up at 5.30am for facilitation at CHIJ TP, then rushing down to school for another presentation. Thankfully, it was better on friday, the girls were definitely more well behaved, and the presentation went alright...pheww, the two presentations were two major things that were off my mind. And I could relax a little on friday night.

But come to think of it, I have been relaxing the whole weekend, which is not good cos I havent started studying for my exams yet, like seriously. And yeah, I went to watch The legend of Zorro with steph, it was really a very nice popcorn movie, perfect for a good laugh and enjoyment. Antonio Banderas looks noticeable older than he was in the mask of zorro, but still very suave. And Catherine Zeta Jones is really sizzling hot and voluptuous.

I dragged Dad to Carl's junior for dinner today. Once again, I thought it was really mediocre, though I rather liked the sourdough bacon burger that I ordered. Actually I thought it was rather delicious, with beef patty,bacon, cheese, tomato and creamy mayo, better than the normal sesame bun.Dad wasnt impressed by the soggy beef chilli fries, preferring the crisscut fries(me too!!). After dinner, I felt super full and bloated, cos of the large servings..i hate this feeling..yucks, think I have had my fill of fast food for the whole week..

Now, I still have 3 project writeups to complete....bleah...when can I ever start studying(and enjoying life)...hahah..

Too tired to blog, shall let pics do the talking...

Guys of kaetna 

Me, Jes, Merr, Issy 

What r those two guys doing, and why does Shiang have such a knowing look on his face 

Kaetnians at NYDC 

Me and steph making funny face 

Here's a quick update. Today was the first day of facilitation and it was indeed an experience. I shall not expound in detail about my job experience, hahah..perils of job blogging eh..suffice to say that it was definitely not easy. I felt weird wearing black pants and long sleeved shirtIt was held at Coral sec sch, which is all the way in the east, at Pasir Ris, thus I had to wake up at 5.30am today, but amazingly I managed to jump right out of bed at the first shrill of my alarm clock. Managed to get there on time, which is 45mins before the actual training begins. Oh, the greatest mishap was probably that the soles of my shoes chose to give way then. I wore my mother's shoe cos I knew that my new shoes would give me blisters..sigh..but a very helpful student brought me to some technicle workshop to fix my shoe.

I must admit I am quite clueless about ava stuff and all that, and as it was my first faciliation, I was pretty clueless about things. Luckily, there was a able team of ava students to help me out. It pretty much went on without a hitch and I had fun interacting with the students. I tell you, who needs dieting when you have work, I only managed a cup of coffee with milo from the canteen plus a egg sandwich and I had to walk around the auditorium alot and keep track of the students and all, so food was the last thing on my mind. But the most amazing thing was that after a break, a student actually bought me food from Mac's- fillet o fish and the fish fingers(or whatever its called). I was like whoaho, what did I do to deserve this, but then I guess many things in life is undeserved, and we just receive lor..hahah. But I was really touched, it was my first time and all, and the students were so nice, or at least the majority of them were..

The training ended at 5, and I managed to hitch a ride from the trainer to river valley..heheh, so I got home pretty fast. So now, back at home after a hearty dinner where all I want to do is sleep after a long day, but no, I have a report to do but other sch stuff as well...oh well..

At least I had a very pleasant weekend, meeting the Kaetnians on Sunday at NYDC to celebrate me and merrilyn's birthday. Though many were too busy with school work to come, I really appreciate those who managed to come despite their heavy workload, esp derek, with a term paper due the next day. I enjoyed eating my favourite baked pasta with ham, mushroom and chillies and also the jazzy brownie topped with vanilla icecream. And I got my ipod nano skin..wheee..hahah..no more worries about scratches and also a G2000 clothes voucher, now I can go shop for more long sleeved collared shirt, I have my eyes some striped ones already...heh

And now...back to work..

Me again with a yummy cake that mum bought from Sweet secrets with yummy choc truffle layers and a nice praline crunch and thick dark choc glaze 

Lovely wallet =) 

Me and steph at Moonfish with the tiramisu in front.. 

Another bag from mum..it looks much nicer rite, its so me!!! Its also very small unfortunately 

Big esprit bag from mum...its still not big enough though...heheh 

My new birks...wheee...I so love them.super comfy 

Exam period= chocolate period. The amout of chocolate that I have been eating lately is astonishing. Just today, I swore I would stay away from chocolates, and Yumin had to ask me to meet her at the coop..sigh...hahah. The heart is willing, but the flesh is weak leh.. I came out with lotsa chocolates I polished off the Nestle club dark chocolate with hazelnut creme..yummy, think its new cos I have never seen it before...and Meiji Hi- cacao almond chocolate which was on sale at the coop, one for one. It looked rather like cockroach egg(to be gross), though I have no idea what the actual thing looks like, and have no wish to know..heh. We sat down at the steps at the forum and just chitchatted..

I had Cg today, thus I had to hang around in sch until 6. My classed ended at 3, but I had another proj meeting until 4 plus. I loved this proj,as opposed to the other one.. I guess its the ppl who make up the group that counts, and the ideas just flowed freely and everyone had fun in planning what to do, and dividing the workload was easy too..

Cg was great. I always enjoyed the time of sharing, though I don't have a lot of things to share.But its just great to fellowship and all.. after that, there was another mini bday celebration for me...hahah..the cake which was from Prima Deli was surprisingly delicious. It was a peppermint chocolate cake- chocolate sponge cake with layers of peppermint cream. And though I am not a big fan of sponge cakes, I liked it alot cos the sponge was light and moist and the cream complemented it really well..

I havent really talked about my bday, and I must take this chance to say it now. hahah..It was amazing.. I got all my birthday wishes answered though I didnt ask for a single thing. I got the ipod nano earlier on, and my much desired birkenstocks from dad, 2 bags from mum, a lovely Pierre Cardin wallet from steph..

Dad finally got to meet steph for dinner on sun. He treated us to Moonfish at Millenia Walk. The food was passable, though their tiramisu is simply to die for. It was quite hilarious cos steph was super nervous before meeting dad, and dad could tell...and he patted him on the back and told him to relax and I just cracked up at that. And after that, they hit it off really well, talking about serious stuff(guys...hahah), but which I am thankful for la...that dad approved of him, saying he was nice, sensible young man and all *makes face*...hahah

The week passed super duper fast, I am kind of dreading next week though..God give me strength to survive...

I am turning into a monster. A black faced scowling mean monster. I have project meeting later, the thought makes me just want to... Can I just do the whole damn thing by myself and just write my name and heck care the other inert members. I am normally not so difficult to work with, but I don't know why, they just get on my nerves...

And I wonder what happened to all my friends. Sometimes when I am alone in sch, I just feel too antisocial to call ppl up for lunch or smth. Is this the 'friendless' part of NUS ppl warned about, different modules, different ppl and you don't see your old friends anymore, but you know they are out there, and you are just not a part of it. But then again, I didnt make a conscious effort to keep in contact. So if I do feel left out, its my own fault and nobody else's.

I really should stop blogging, I am not making sense anymore, even to myself

And nope, I didnt really snap out of my lethargy. Its strange isnt it, the more work I have to do, the less I want to move my butt, figuratively speaking. Suddenly felt quite depressed, though I have no reason to, but then again, its beyond reasoning, isnt it? I havent been able to concentrate probably, nor focus when I am doing work. And when I look at the piles and piles of things, I just wanna give up and call it a day..and the feeling is so awful, the naggy feeling that just wont go away, but yet I am still not moving...

Well, did a little bit of work today at Orchard lib with steph, I rather like the place, though its pretty cold and its rather hard to get seats, especially during this period. I adore their ice-blended drinks too. Figured I needed a treat today, and ordered a hazelnut coffee iceblended. Though there wasnt much of a coffee kick, it was delicious. And I liked the cookies and cream milkshake that steph ordered too, so much so that I drank alot of his, and went to buy another cup...and soft tender nestle toll-house cookie, the mother of all chocolate chip cookies, a day for indulgence. And I shopped around for long sleeved shirts for my the facilitating thingy, which I didnt manage to find. What I managed to buy was this cute little pointy shoes from Charles and Keith cos I have to wear covered shoes for facilitating, no slippers, sandals or flip flops. I bought the cream coloured one with pink rims which looked awfully sweet. I wore it immediately to sort of 'break it in' for next week and before long, I got blisters all over..sigh..really, thats why I hate wearing shoes. Oh well, hopefully I would get used to it soon..

I think my blogging is still rather incoherent now, but I am beyond caring already..going to bed now..still feeling horrible about my unproductivity..

I have a horrible confession to make...I skipped both my lecture and tutorial today. Feeling rather guilty now...but when my alarm rang at 6.30am this morning, I simply felt incapable of moving an inch, much less getting out of bed. In my 1min of reasoning, I decided that I would fall asleep in lecture anyway, and thus promptly turned off my alarm and when back to bed, and woke up at 8.30am to shout at my dog who was barking shrilly outside, I simply couldnt understand why she must do this every morning without fail, guess today I was more irritable than usual. Tutorial? Forget it, I didnt manage to complete or rather do the tutorial and I have no wish of getting slammed early in the morning, especially when I was not feeling exactly clear headed.

Didnt have a good sleep last night, it was fraught with dreams that didnt make any sense at all, not that I can remember, just vaguely that I dreamt about an awful lot of things, which might have affected the quality of my sleep cos I am feeling very lethargic now, don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere. Which might explain why my morning has been so unproductive despite the many things screaming for my attention.

I slept pretty late last night. It suddenly dawned on me that exam is exactly a month away, then I started stressing about everything and especially next week. 2 presentations, 3 work assignments(I am starting work as a facilitator for High Achiever's training agency next week). As I have no idea what to expect, I am feeling rather apprehensive and wondering whether I was handling more than I could manage. Plus the last of my group project is due in 2 weeks. And I wasnt exactly productive last nite as well...probably feeling rather burnt out...

I think that my entry today is rather incoherent and probably full of gramatical errors. I am just plain rambling off my mind..sigh..and I dunno why I am so clumsy lately, scalded my hand last week, and though its healing now, its itching like anything. And I banged my knee hard against the sharp edge of a table yesterday and I have difficulty climbing up and down the stairs...hope the fog in my head clears soon...

Just realized something, I think I screwed up my test big time. You know the kind where all the answers seem possible and you have no idea which to choose because they all look the same to you. Its a MCQ test by the way. And I only just started studying last night. And I spent the better half of my night wasting away. Yup, wasting is a good word, cos I didnt do anything at all. Then when you have to cram 4 lecture notes worth of things in, everything just starts to go haywire.. sigh, and thought I would have learnt my lesson by now. But yesterday, was a horrid night.I just couldnt get anything done.

The end is nearing soon. I mean the end of the semester. This is the period where everyone is most busy with projects and assignments and all and it would climax with the exam and then it would be the holidays. On reflection, its been a good semester. I have religiously attended almost all of my lectures and tutorials, and pretty much enjoyed them. And I have no essays to submit this sem, apart from projects and more projects, which is a blessing cos I hate writing essays. True, I do love writing, blogging and all. Remember how I used to get high marks for writing back in secondary school, used to love writing stories and all,got A1 for english, and then it all fell apart in JC and I got a lousy b3 for GP. And for my previous assignments in Yr 1 for political science, south-east asian studies and all, I got really crappy grades. And till then, I think I have never quite recovered from that 'trauma'...hahah..quite silly actually cos a university student is expected to be able to write well, and an arts student no less.

Ah well, enough reminiscing..gotta get started on all my backlogged stuff. I have a whole lot of things to do, but its always hard to get started. And I am easily distracted. Right now, I am into this foodblog thingy, I have at least 10 sites bookmarked and when i am bored, I just love to go look at recipes and pictures of food. And I love to look at cookbooks too, especially the baking ones. My faves are How to be a Domestic Goddess by Nigella Lawson..oh man, her recipes and pictures are fabulicious, and Baking with Julia by Julia Childs...maybe I should just drop out of school go be a pastry chef...hahah..just kidding, just kidding..

Sometimes don't you just wish you can stop time in its tracks
When you are studying for an exam, and you never seem to be able to reach the end
Or when you are rushing for a project
Or just plain buried by work
Don't you just wish to freeze time when you little toddler brings you much joy instead of growing up to be a rebellious teenager
Or when you are in a relationship, don't you just wish to forever be in the honeymoon period, where you are swaddled in the glow of love and everything seems rosy and nothing else seems to matter
Or when you are having the time of your life, you just wish time would stop and let you savour the moment
But in the blink of an eye, its gone
So fleeting is it
Time waits for no one
Trickling on and on
And Life goes on...

I received the most amazing 6th month prsent from Steph today. Before our date in the evening, he came up to my house, to deliver a mysterious looking box and urged me to open it. I opened it to reveal two huge black cards, inside were filled with chocolate. What he did was to write a sort of letter and filled in some of the words with different chocolates eg : lets put on our snickers and fly like a dove. So he replaced the words with a mini snickers bar and a dove chocolate respectively. The rest of the letter is private content, heh. But anyway, I was really touched by how much effort he had put in for the present. How he had to go around sourcing for chocolates and also to come up with such a creative letter. I got all sorts of chocolate like timtam,mars,violet crumble,cadbury,dove, willy wonka and many many others that would last me very long. In other words, a large variety of chocolates. Plus inside the box were filled with rose petals(plastic, but nontheless still made me go awwwww). Really lovely present, not just the chocolates, which are secondary, but how much effort he put into it and also his creativity.

Feeling very blessed. We had dinner at Country manna, then desserts at Cedele where they have the most amazing blueberry hazelnut cheesecake,moist,rich and flavourful. And then our favourite walk near my house.....

Going to zzzz now...soooo sleepy. And oh yeah, my haircut turned out great. Nothing special, but suits me just fine

Once again, its been a week since I last blogged. Full of excitement and happiness. Everything is so tangible, is it not? You can be happy one moment, and sad the other. When I am happy, I feel top of the world and ready to conquer everything, and basically just feel good. When I am in the blues, the world just seems so bleak and I just want to ignore eveything and everybody and escape into my own world. Luckily, I am happy most of the time and untroubled. It comes from being optimistic about things and a happy go lucky attitude and generally being easily satisfied with things. My catchphrase, among many others is 'its no big deal'. I am generally not concerned with nitty gritty things. In a way, that could be construed as bad because it means having low expectations of things. I have often fallen out, or rather, have disagreements with my dad because of this. He is quite a demanding person, while I am laidback(or bochap),thus when there is difference in attitudes, there is bound to be conflict,and conflicting views lead to disagreements. He would often scold me about little things, and flare up over very minor things, and often, I just can't see why he has to get so worked up. Most often, the cycles go like this, he would scold me for some things that I have done, I would just let him say whatever he wants, cos there is no point in arguing if he cannot see my view. He would give me the cold treatment, and I would just ignore him until he 'comes around'. I find it very hard to appease people who are angry or pacify them. Perhaps in a way, I am kind of scared of conflicts and generally avoid it. But hey, I do have my tempers too. You know what they say about dormant volcano's erruptions. They take a long time to errupt, and could be considered extinct, but when they do. Man, is it a sight to behold.

But anyway,I think this cold treatment stuff is bad cos its having an adverse effect on me. After all, if both my parents does that to me, I have to 'acclimitaze', right. But it is really not a good way of dealing with people. Coming back to dad, I have always been in awe of him, and maybe in a way afraid of him as he has always been the disciplinarian. I remember all the bruises and terror from when I was young. Of course, it has long changed since then, I am in a way closer to him than mum and he is my also my confidant, when I choose to share stuff. However, he is still very much quick tempered and autocratic. He orders me about and is always flaring up at me, which I both resents, but I have no choice since he is my dad. But I am just thinking that after getting that kind of treatment for so many years, I am not about to stand for that from anybody else...

Hah, I have just managed to write a whole long passage when all I wanted to blog about was some lighthearted stuff. Gee, I just spent about an hour on this when I have so many other things to do. Oh well, guess sometimes its good to reflect about things and be able to voice them out. But hey, must be careful of what I blog lest I get into trouble. The blog is not a private space(I never thought it was anyway), but I find the thought of getting into trouble over blogging just a little too extreme. And teachers actually have so much time and energy to read blogs and punish students for it.

Going for free haircut later, promo by cleo mag..heheh..no, nothing radical like the last time. And probably doing a little retail therapy. I do feel rich now, from my tuition money and some birthday angpoh money given in advance. And I do think I deserve a treat from working so hard..hahah..and also to buy myself a present mah...heheh

I am very happy today.
I am very happy cos stephen is back from aussie
And he brought back lots of candies and chocolates
I am very happy cos I spoke up quite alot in tutorial today
And thats quite an achievement for me
I am very happy cos we finally finished our socie project amidst mad rush for time
Stike 1 off the list, still have 4 more pending.
I am very happy cos I finally managed to eat the warm chocolate cake at Bakerzin
And it was really out of this world, albeit a little too small
And I received an early birthday present
A clutch bag from esprit *grinz*
Thanks girls, you all are the best
I am very happy and satisfied girl today.. =)

Cant believe I just spent one over hour a stupid maths question that I brought home from my tuition kid because I couldnt solve it at that time and I wouldnt admit defeat. And the sweet joy of victory after solving it is unbeatable. Haha, and I just called him up to explain to him over the phone and he understood. Am I a good teacher or what? Hehe. Maybe I do like maths after all...Oops havent started on my essay yet...sigh

Phew..had about 3 hours of tuition today, from 4-6.50 and no OT, hahah...cos my student's exam is next week, and I guess he finally got the exams jitters and started asking me alot of questions. It was alright la, I didnt mind staying back to help him, but 3hours of talking and thinking maths was pretty draining...so I just stoned all the way on the 45mins bus ride home. I would also be tutoring his pri 5 sister starting from next week, I think, as his mother needed a tutor urgently and I happened to be available. Just hope she isnt expecting miracles as I told her honestly that I didnt have any experience teaching pri school kids and did not know the syllabus at all. But it would be good for me as I need the extra money..hahah...was walking through orchard on sat alone and was attracted by a sale at isetan, the mad house kind that I hate, but i liked the brand, which was surfbay and forever orange, thus I went in and bought a skirt and a top without trying as the queue for the dressing room was too long and I was in a hurry. And I realized at home that the skirt was kind of snug at the hips and a teeny bit on the short side. But oh well, I rather liked it cos it looks somewhat like a tennis skirt, just hope that it passes the parental censor. Anyway I thought that I had exercised remarkable self control cos there were so many other things that i wanted to buy but didnt buy..eg dangly earrings and long chunky necklace that is so in vogue now. And other skirts and tops and short shorts...arghh..dun get me started. I havent shopped in ages, other than the two impulse buys.

Anyway, i digressed. By the time I got home, I was starving and did not have the energy to cook anything other than instand noodles which never tasted so good before. And I slurped up everybit of the noodles and the soup. Burp...

And now I have to 'pia' essay for my proj and study for a test on tues and start on another proj..yawnnn...

State of nirvana? After tasting the rum balls...hahah... 

Satisfied after all the chocolates.. I can go to sleep in the super comfy couch now.. 

If ever there were a thing such as chocolate overload in my vocabulary, this is it. I went to the chocolate buffet at the Fullerton today. It was an early birthday treat from Brennan as he is going to Australia soon for 2 months. I feel so high and full from all the chocolates now..

Before that, we had quite an adventure getting there. Brennan drove his mum's yellow beetle which was super cute and we actually got lost on the roads cos of all the wrong turnings and we took about 1hr to get from my house to fullerton due to the traffic congestion and wrong turnings, and reached at about 8.15,just nice to tuck into all the goodies...and all the waiting made me build up quite an appetite as well as a sense of anticipation for whats to come.



The sight of all the chocolates were enough to make me go wow, plus the first thing I saw was the chocolate fountain and the aroma of it was indeed enough to make me drool.

I ate so many things that I felt so super full from it all. Think I would have to lay off chocolates for a while. But it was indeed a wonderful experience, a definite must try for all chocolate lovers out there,it would definitely not disapppoint. For more pics and review on the buffet, check out my Foodblog

I was chatting to a friend the other day and we were talking about relationships. She told me that another friend, X, had been cheated on by her boyfriend. The boyfriend had apparently gone on a holiday with that other girl, on the pretext of wanting sometime alone( that bastard). X, of course, was devastated and did not eat or drink or do anything for quite some time, but closed herself out from everybody else who tried to help her.

I was quite shocked when she told me about it as firstly, the boyfriend is not that much of a looker. There goes the stereotyope that only good looking guys can be unfaithful. And secondly, I feel very strongly about infidelity. In a relationship, the most important thing is to stay true to each other. If you like someone else, break off the relationship before embarking on a new one cos its not fair to both parties. X, though her heart was broken, still cares for him and has forgiven him. I think it is really magnanimous of her. I think if the same thing happened to me, I won't ever ever forgive the person,so strongly do I feel about this. I would be too hurt, too betrayed, and if it can happen once, it can happen again. I won't hate the person,it takes too much energy to hate, but I won't have anything more to do with him, ever again.

But maybe I am being too simplistic. Maybe it would be different in a marriage. After all, how often have you heard of wives forgiving their hisband after they stray. If you truly love your husband, your would fight for him and the marriage. But would it be the same,or would there always be this unspoken thing hanging in the air, this gap that forever cannot be closed.

Poor X, I hope she moves on soon, and get that B*** out of her head and find someone more worthy of her. No man is worth shedding so much tears for, especially one that broke her heart, right? Again, I am speaking from my head and not my heart. Matters of the heart is actually more complicated than that, you can control what you think, but you can't control what you feel

Today was such a long and eventful day. I feel so tired now and don't feel like doing anything. Unfortunately, I have a whole lot of work lined up, don't know which to tackle first...arghh..it would be like that all the way to next week.

I had to go to school early for my proj meeting which was at 11am, but I reached science at around 9.30 am to ask ppl to help me do surveys for the proj.. wait, before that, smth happened on the way to sch. As I was walking past the block of flats at Dover crescent, I got the shock of my life when a long pole crashed down in front on me(the type used for hanging out clothes to dry). Another pole soon followed and when I glared up angrily, it was actually somebody throwing it down from at least 10 storeys high. I hurriedly ducked undercover and when the throwing stopped, I looked up again. The culprit was actually sticking out his head from above. I was so pissed that I did the unthinkable, I actually dialed triple nine. It was a spur of the moment thing as I was so freaking angry. What if the pole had hit me, or somebody else for that matter. That bloody thing could have killed, or at least seriously had the potential to injure. There was this uproar over 'killer litter' quite a while back. And while I was on the phone, the culprit, I think, came up to me and tried to say something, but I just ignored him and quickly walked towards school. The officer just asked me a few questions and said she would send some men down, but I doubt if anything would happen, and anyway he would have been long gone by then. Oh well, at least I did my duty as a 'lawful' singaporean..though I kinda regret it now...

I realize that science canteen is the worst place to do a survey. I only approached those people who were not eating and were not studying, and even then I was turned down, didnt even manage to get a completed survey there. A group of girls who were chatting gave me a killer glare as I approached and made the excuses that they were studying, and no one else seemed interested, making me feel so demoralized. I went to the engine canteen after that, and over there, it was a diff story altogether. All the people I approached helped me, but then they were all predominantly male, so when I approached with a wide smile, they could hardly turn me away, could they? In fact, I actually got hit on by some of them, one of whom actually left his phone number on the survey form, and another guy said smth along the lines of me being quite chio, so he didnt mind doing the survey.. how ermmm...I just mustered a grimace cum smile at that...hahah.though come to think of it, it was somewhat flattering, I seldom get this kind of comments after all..

After the proj meeting, I had lesson tutorial from 2-4. Went library to collate the survey results. And I realized that it is not as easy as I thought it would be. It was so tedious to go through all the survey forms and counting the various responses, and then trying to make links. Sigh, the project is due next tues it seems like everything is in a mess. We don't have a clear idea of the theme of our proj and very little time on our hands...sigh

Had dinner at engine canteen (again) with cindy and yumin. I was so super starving and needed something yummy to reward myself after such a long day. So I ordered from a Indonesian stall a roast chicken set, which was super delicious. Lovely roasted chicken thigh with rice drenched generously with a thick and fragrant curry plus sambal chilli. I ate everything, right up to the last grain of rice(which is quite rare), except for the skin and the bones. I even found the space for a oreo mcflurry after dinner, a rare treat which never tasted so good before.

When I got home, mum had actually invited some friends for a bbq and offered me some food. Though I felt pretty full from dinner, the lovely succulent chicken wings which was roasted to such a nice golden colour looked too good to resist. The chicken wings found in bbqs(done by amateur cooks) are tough and normally an unappetising shade of either too black or too pale, but the meat of this one was so tender and the skin so crispy that I once again polished down everything, skin and all.

Pheww.. I am feeling so stuffed now..time to get down to work...

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT MIGHT INDUCE NAUSEA IN A PERSON, PLEASE CLICK ON THE BUTTON ON THE TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER OF THE PAGE TO EXIT

MB is gone again, this time just a short 6 days(as compared to the previous 6 weeks to Seoul), for a wedding shoot in Perth for a friend. Though he just flew off this morning, I am missing him already. And I would only see him again next Tues. I guess it never gets easier, having to say goodbye, no matter how short the separation is. I know without a doubt that I can never have a long distance relationship, the pain of separation is too tough, and I really salute those who can hang on for so long. It really is not easy at all.

Before he left, we had a good long talk yesterday when he sent me home. I had dinner at his house where his mum cooked a yummy dish of Gado Gado(I think), which is some sort like a rojak, indonesian style, with various vegetables, taupok and ketupat rice cubes with a delicious peanut based sauce which was both sweet and spicy.

Next month would mark our 6th month together, relatively short to some people, but it seems to me that we have come such a long way. From just being aquaintance, to friend, then being thrown together last sem by 3 common modules that we were taking,liking each other but keeping it inside, finally me being brave enough to admit to him. I sort of made the first 'move'..hahah..I have always believed in being upfront about my feelings, if you like somebody, tell him. If he likes you, then good for you. If he doesnt, then move on. No point being wishy washy and dragging everything on and being miserable. Fight for your happines, I say. I was all prepared to move on if he said no, but luckily, he was smart enough to recognize the treasure before him(heheh...bhb, i know;-)). And so we happily got attached, much to the surprise of many friends who were of course happy for us. Happily ever after? Not so...

Maybe in the first flush of love, you would feel like nothing can go wrong. But a relationship is so much more than that. For it to work, both parties must learn how to give and take, and it also takes lots of patience and effort to develop mutual understanding and to work out differences. To love despite shortcomings and other what nots and in good times and bad.

Guess I got lucky this time round, to have found someone who can take my blur-ness, my snits,someone who can cheer me up when I am upset, pamper me with chocolates,understand me better than anyone else, push me when I get lazy...and so much more. Though we might have very different interest, like he likes photography and planes, and I like food and other frivolous stuff. He likes reading Newsweek, economist etc and I like reading Cleo. He likes visitng museums while I find museums a bore, we have learnt to compromise. After all, when you love someone, you like to see that person happy, right?

6 days would be gone in a flash. And besides, I have so many things to do that I don't know which one to start first. Everything's been piling up again. And i just feel so so tired that I don't feel like doing anything..At least one thing to look foward to is some chocolate therapy on Fri...wheeee