Sometimes I think that my mother is beyong reasoning, beyond comprehension. We had a huge fight just now, over a negligible matter yet again. And I simply feel so drained and exhausted, I cant even concentrate on studying properly, cos I am so bothered by it, and filled with regrets too, lots of it. Yet again I failed to reign in my temper, so maybe thats my fault, but there is only so much verbal abuse a person can take. Somehow I felt the need to defend myself after having been wrongfully accused, but she just distorted everything I said. With all due respect, I tried to explain myself patiently, and even injected some humour into the exchange to lighten things up, and she just took it for insolence. The worst was when she asked me if that is the correct behavior of a Christian. That just struck me right through my heart. I really could have asked the same of her, but what for..

Oh, I am really so tired of all this. I am not absolving myself of blame..on the contrary, I am filled with guilt. For once, I am not dismissing the matter to the back of my head because I simply couldnt give a damn...

I found this verse from the bible 1 Peter 2:23: While being reviled, Jesus did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously. I just keep this in mind. There is no need to defend myself really, cos the truth is between me and God. Somehow after blogging this, I feel more at peace with myself. Its really good to have an outlet for frustrations sometimes.

Now, hopefully back to studying for my last paper tmr..I smell freedom soon.