Friday, November 26, 2004
The day started off with meeting Adrian, who is back from Australia for lunch at coffee club. He is also a fellow choc lover like me. And the best of all is, he helped me buy the Rocklea roads from Aussie which I tried once there and never quite got it out of my system. Its like a bar of fluffy marshmellow coated generously with milk choc and peanuts and dessicated coconut. Its yummy, I tell u. We went to coffee club for lunch, I treated him as he did not charge me for the chocs which cost quite a fair bit. We had a main course each and dessert was muddie mudpie which we shared. We actually dithered quite a long time over which dessert to order as the selection was simply too huge and all were equally tempting. It is better than the one at nydc
and is like a huge tower of choc and coffee ice-cream drenched in chocolate fudge and cookie bits. But the best is yet to come. We went down to taka foodsquare and ordered this chocolate fondant cake from Beard Papa which by the way was introduced in last week's Sunday times life food section and which I have been wanting to try since I saw it. it was a deceptively small looking plain piece of cupcake. But when you bite into in, warm, liquid varlrhona oozes out and the base of the cake is actually a biscuit base. It was fabulicious. Not too sweet, and extremely chocolatey. At the introductory price of $2.20, it was really a steal. Both of us had huge silly grins on our face when we were eating it. It was simply orgasmic....mmmm. And I am ashamed to admit that while I was eating it, I kept making sounds of appreciation. It was gone all to soon, but I am definitely going back to buy it again.
Aftet that, I went to catch a movie with sy, stephen, kelvin, liang and his friend. Decided to watch Bridget jones diary. It was simply hilarious, full of the dry british humour that had me giggling loudly throughout the movie. I simply love Renee Zellweger and Hugh Grant who is always so suave and debonair and SEXY. The storyline was good, the acting was good, everything was good, but I don't understand why it was only rated two stars by the straits times. Hmm, it was really a truly great movie and I don't even mind going back to watch a second time. I am a sucker for movies with happy endings and there were parts which tugged at my heartstring. There are so many other movies to catch, like the Incredibles which everyone raved about..Hmm, its going to be a great holiday...
Thursday, November 25, 2004
I know that for this sem, I probably won't do well..but heck it. I just hope that this would be a lesson well learnt and that I would really PAY ATTENTION in lect and tutorial next sem. For now, its play, play and more play. Yes Jan,zonghan, bianca, clubbing beckons. Yipeee!!!
Hee, reading cleo mag now, been resisting its call for days. This is live, this is living, this is the mag....wahaha.. I am dancing with joy...bursting with happiness...that is , until the results are released. Meanwhile, carpe diem, live live to the fullest..
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
8 things learnt from political science exam
2. Just concentrate on a few topics which u feel would come out and study hard for it(that is if u only have one day, if not, don't ever try it)
3. Just reading the notes get you nowhere, you have to read,understand, digest and be able to produce it even after closing the textbk(my biggest failure in studying, I never test myself to see how much I have actually remembered)
4. Waking up at 6 to study for my ps exam at9 didn't help at all, though I really concentrated. (again, this could be because of point 2)
5. Pay attention in lecture and tutorial( I always tend to switch off and give myself the excuse that I can always read the textbk and notes at home)
6. Ask and you will find out; question and you will understand(I tend to be very passive in tutorials, never querying, always accepting. Though I think that I never ask questions bec I don't even know what is going on.)
7. No use stressing yourself out in the exam hall if you cannot really answer the question, no matter how much you worry or panic, the answer won't come+ u will die younger.
8. No use blaming yourself for what has already happened, look ahead and learn from your mistakes, you can't turn back the clocks of time. You can only do your best to make sure the same thing doesn't happen again.
I am now a wiser person, I hope. And all you ppl out there, don't be like me. Someone said(can't remember who): "A stupid person learns from his own mistake, a smart person learns from other ppl's mistakes". I am not saying thats entirely through, but well.... I definitely hope that this will be a last lesson to me, that I would learn from my mistakes.
Monday, November 22, 2004
When I finally made an appearance in the living room, he had already gone out Mom was there and she started ranting at me for making her the cause of a scolding. As if it's my fault. I haven't been complaining to anyone except my blog, which if I don't, I will surely burst with all the emotions inside me. This time, we really had a shouting match. In the past, whenever she scolded me, I'd mostly keep quiet and try to take it in stride, but today, all the things inside my head which were clamouring to be let out finally did. She told me (for the upteenth time) to go back to my dad's house. She told me that I was mercenary, she told me that she disliked me, she told me that she regretted taking custody of me…. What kind of f**ked up mother would say that to her kid? I don’t know, but I retorted that I would leave.
And I really wish I could, I have been seriously considering it for quite a while, but I don't want to go back to my dad's place. I think going back once a week is enough and If I see him more than that, our current good relationship would deteriorate as he is even more of an authoritarian and control-freak, and I can just foresee future issues about my freedom coming up and many others. Right now, I mostly give in to him for peace's sake. I wonder if it is too late to register for a room at pgp. But that, I think, would be a last resort as it is quite expensive and I can’t jolly well ask from my dad or my mom.
I am supposed to be studying now, but I can’t. My eyes are swollen and my heart is in a turmoil……Getting ready to flunk political science
Saturday, November 20, 2004
But well, I have only myself to blame. Didn't study hard enough, didn't make enough effort, been slacking this whole semester. This has happened to me so many times before,for O and A levels. Not studying when I have the time, even when the books is just in front of me. I can stare at the same page of the textbook for very long,but yet nothing goes in. I only starts studying in earnest when the exam is like the next day and only then I start panicking and studying at top speed, by then it'd be too late. Well, I got lucky for the 'O's , I scrapped through the 'A's but I have the nagging feeling I won't live this one through. I have made so many resolutions not to procrastinate, but I have never kept any of them. My motto is 'there is always tomorrow' which is BAD. I am scaring myself, at this point in time, I am still reading story books. Yes, I dug out my book of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and reread it for the upteenth time. Come to think of it, I read harry potter before the 'A's too, but I think that was the Goblet of Fire....I am simply not learning from past mistakes and letting history repeat itself.
I always have such low expectations of myself, like I would be very happy if I get a B for my essay, even for the exam. But my friend just told me that a friend of hers has been getting As this whole sem for her assignments and when she got a B+, she was quite freaked out.. That conversation gave me a big scare and jotted me to my senses. Do i want to get mediocre grades all my life and be a nobody? Nono, I've always had been dreams about being SOMEBODY, not that it'd come through, but it doesnt hurt to have dreams and ideals and even if you work hard but fall short of it, it is still somewhere. As yx put it, there is no stopping me except myself. All I have to do is to overcome this barrier within me and I am on the way to the tops. yayyy
5 more days to go before my impt papers finish. Hope I can remain sane until then...
Friday, November 19, 2004
Moral of the story: Never resist the urge to stock up on chocolates.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
I didn't manage to stay off chocolate after all, the craving was simply too much and I went to the coop to buy the cadbury mini-eggs, all Jan's fault for introducing me to that ;p....anyway think its nicer than m&ns The first one that I ate was simply.....bliss...ahhhh
So the combination of excessive junk food, stress, lack of sleep, plus getting caught in the rain has led to my usual symtoms of falling sick...like being extremely thirsty and very tired. When I start getting these symtoms, I usually start drinking tons of water and taking more vit c and it usually works. so hopefully this would keep the bug away, I can't afford to fall sick now. I still have so many things left undone.
Anyway it was Stephen's birthday today and it was a very enjoyable lunch with Kaetnians as we goofed around and posed for pics with him, and sang a birthday song for him at the deck and thus attracting lots of attention which rendered him quite 'paiseh'. At least the trip to school was not wasted....
Monday, November 15, 2004
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Next week is the start of a new week, and I totally promise myself that I will really get down and tackle my books. It is not easy, in fact it'd be a major feat, to complete the readings of 5 modules in 2 weeks. But shit, unless I want to get kicked out of uni,i'd better get my act together fast. I shall think of the wonderful things to come after the exams. Go windsurfing,go wakeboarding, go clubbing, go max brenner with Jan, go outings with optoians, go chalet with kaetnians,pick up tennis, bake cookies/brownies/chessecakes(hope I haven't lost my touch) and so many more.....wow, can hardly wait
Now, hopefully thoughts of the good things to come will inspire me to greater heights...
Friday, November 12, 2004
Went to sch for the socie review lect and studied for a while in the lib. Wow,the sheer number of people mugging away there was really amazing and well, it did stress me out. Hopefully this would make me more motivated to study.
These days, I am bulldozing through at least a packet of chocolate daily, cadbury mini eggs, droste bittersweet pastilles, Hersheys kisses, Lindt choc....u name it. Its a wonder I haven't expanded horizontally. But I will soon if I don't stop SOON. Wonder what would happen if I don't get my daily serving, don't think I can survive anyway, will suffer from withdrawal syndrome. Will try to kick this addiction after the exam. Right now, I need this buzz that I get everytime I pop one into my mouth.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
I cam back from the gym to the sounds of raised voices and my heart quailed..not again, I thought. This time it was because of hair in the sink that I didn't remove, *roll eyes*, its soon moved off to other matters. Once he starts, he is unstoppable and will proceed to strip off every ounce of dignity my mum has. Of course my heart goes out to her, I tried but failed to find the right words to say. Besides, she was so hostile towards me that I didn't even dare to approach her. When my stepdad scolds her, she is usually very hostile towards me, and will usually take it out on me, probably because he scolds her instead of me. I feel that it is so unfair...I didn't even do anything wrong but she would just start giving me the cold treatment. So the whole afternoon, I had to tread around carefully and keep out of war's way.
Dinner was a chore. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. I kept my head down and minded my own business. They were still quarelling then. There was obviously no love lost between them. I wondered why two people who don't love each other anymore still stayed together. I felt perilously close to tears and shaken. I have gone through this many times in my years of living with them, but each time it happens, I always feel at a lost. Why is life so complicated? Why can't I have a normal family? Feeling so lost right now, wish I can have a shoulder to cry on.....
Don't have the mood to study now. Can't wait to get out of the house, its stifling me...
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Chocolates
Chocolate Trivia
1.The Aztecs considered chocolate an aphrodisiac and subsequently all chocolate based foods were strictly forbidden to women.
2.Ironically, according to several studies, chocolate is the number one food craved by women.
3.Chocolate contains the same mood lifting chemical, phenylethylamie, produced by the brain when you fall in love.
4.Chocolate is an excellent source of vitamin E and a good source of phosphorous, calcium and iron.
5.There is no proof that chocolate causes or aggravates acne. Nor that it causes tooth decay. In fact, there are indications that the cocoa butter in the chocolate coats the teeth and may help plaque from forming.
6.Research at the University of California has found that chocolate carries high levels of chemicals known as phenolics, or antioxidants like those found in red wine, and may help lower the risk of heart disease.
7.White chocolate is not true chocolate because it contains no cocoa solids. Instead, it's usually a mixture of sugar, cocoa butter, milk solids, lecithin and vanilla, hence it's sweetness.
8.Chocolate should be stored, tightly wrapped, in a cool, dry place. If stored at warm temperatures, chocolate will develop a pale grey "bloom" caused when the cocoa butter rises to the surface. Under ideal conditions, dark chocolate can be stored for 10 years. However, because of the milk solids in both milk chocolate and white chocolate, the shouldn't be stored for longer than 9 months
Before you take a bite - smell the chocolate, breath in its aroma and take a good look at it. Is it shiny or dull? What is its color and texture? Much like a wine connoisseur, chocolate lovers consider appearance, smell and taste. True chocolate aficionados let the chocolate melt on their tongue and enjoy the various degrees of intensity and sensual feelings while it liquefies.
Professional chocolate connoisseurs have many terms to describe the texture, quality and feel of chocolate. Let's look at the texture of a chocolate bar first, how does it break? Does it crumble and splinter or is it a clean break coming off with a hard and clear "crack"? If it does, it's an almost sure sign of an excellent quality. Is the praline shiny and does it have a thin shell of chocolate surround it? Is it beginning to melt if you hold it between your fingers a few seconds? If it doesn't, it may contain a lot of vegetable fat.
Let's taste it now -- slowly let a square melt in your mouth or take a small bite from a praline. Does it melt nicely and smoothly, or does it leave a granular or "floury" feeling in your mouth? Granular residues may be the sign of too much sugar, which in turn may make you thirsty. Does it stick to your palate and require considerable pains to dislodge it from the roof of your mouth?..It shouldn't. Does it melt easily and change without much effort from solid to liquid without chewing it? If it doesn't, its too "dry." but the opposite, "fatty" will just leave that kind of taste in your mouth. It goes without mention . . . the less granular the texture, the smoother, the less fatty and softer melting, the better the chocolate!
Its been proven that chocolates releases endorphins. Good chemical to relieve our stress during exam time. All the more reasons to load up on it
Monday, November 08, 2004
Anyway will be studying now.Hopefully I can make some headway. I will have some motivation today. Will be watching Shark's tale with Kaetnians today, so cool...think it'd be quite a good turnout. And will be doing a bit-o shopping with mum. Nothing like retail therapy to put one in a good mood.
Listening to: beyonce-Crazy in Love
Mood: Happy,optimistic
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Taking about the presentation, I woke up later then my stipulated time of 6, which means I had no time to go through my presentation. I was seriously in a blind panic and very stressed. I was tense throughout and half of the time, didn't even know what I was talking about. I was suffering from acute stage fright. Anyway its something which I have no wish to go through again. I have always had difficulty expressing my view in front of a audience for as long as I can remember. Wait a minute, do I even have a view in the first place....Most of the time I am a passive listener, never questioning, never doubting, simply accepting. Sometimes not even listening....I do wish I can express myself as vocally as some people I know. I really admire them for their guts, but somehow, I don't know why, I just can't do it.
Now I have to try to study..seriously study before its too late...
Friday, November 05, 2004
The highlight of the day was going to Munchie Monkey Cafe for dinner. Hooray!!! We decided we needed to treat ourselves after everything. We ordered a calamari, a pizza and a pasta to be shared among three people, keeping in mind that dessert was on the agenda. The calamari was nice(tasted like the spaggedies' one anyway) but would have been better served with mayonnaise. The maincourse was well...it passed muster,but nothing spectacular there. Wahaha, I sound like a food-critic, even to myself. Wow how cool would it be to be a food critic, can go around sampling food. Ok stop dreaming.... Ok and the desserts were GREAT. I ordered a Italian chocolate cake with ice-cream. When I took the first bite, i was like wow. Very orgasmic...haha. It was warmed and the chocolatey and sticky cake went together with the cold ice-cream like yin and yang. It was just so delicious. I savoured every bite of it. The brownie was pretty good as well, and it came in quite a large portion. My only complain about the Italian chocolate cake is that it was too small, I couldn't get enough of it.
After the wonderful dinner, it was back to work again. But I realized after trying to read my readings for more background knowledge, that I was still at the same page after one hour. My brain had simply stopped functioning. Decided to have a good sleep and wake up at 6 to do it before the presentation, which would be at 9.
Dreamland, here i come

