Sometimes I don't understand mothers, my mother in particular. I feel like I don't understand her at all, that we are strangers living in the same house. She does her own things and I do my own things. Today's article in Sunday Lifestyle about communications between husband and wife really stuck a chord with me,though its between my mother and me. Its says that wife typically think that their husbands are not talking to them,while the husbands say they are men of few words. Most often, the wife pursues a conflict area in the relationship and the husband, feeling incompetent in handling relational conflict,simply withdraws. She turns up the volume and he tries harder to get away until everything escalates and full blown nasty quarrels ensues. Deja Vu? This is exactly what is happening with me.. I don't like confrontations. I simply withdraw into my own world unless provoked beyond control and then we would just quarrel..

My mum scolded me for eating almost half of her nuts in the span of 2 days. She shouted so much that my stepdad scolded her for overeacting and even our maid agreed that 'its just peanuts what'. I don't know whats her problem man. Why she is so calculative with me. She said something along the lines of 'you are just like your dad,so selfish. Always eating up my food. Been working for so long, don't even know how to buy me a meal...' Oh, now she drags my dad into the pic. I wanted to say, whats wrong with being like dad, I have half his blood after all,I hope I am not like you,so shrewish and all. And hello, I pay for everything myself nowadays, with the exception of dinner at home and the occasional tidbits I 'steal' from her. And how did she know I didnt plan to surprise her with something nice as soon as I have time to shop around? No..she only knows how to heap accusations onto me. A person can only take so much after all..Its at times like this I quesition her belief in Christianity and *shamefacedly* mine as well...Why am I not able to give in to her, you know, honour the parents and all..

Nah, I am not fuming in my room now, no poin la. I am not going to let anyone affect my mood. In fact, I am showing typical husband syndromes of withdrawing. I am showing bo-chapness. Sometimes I cant be bothered by her and with her anymore, no matter how much I try, her perception of me would never change. I feel its a pity, we used to be so close when I was young,remember when she used to go on long business trips to new zealand with my stepdad, I would cry buckets. She showered me with love and gifts. That was when I was living with dad. Now. A different story altogether.

Times change. People change. Love change. I just hope the love we have for each other would never change- my mb ;-)