It seems that day-dreaming is my forte
For not long after opening my textbook
I soon slip into the realm of fantasy
Where anything could happen
If I but will it so
I find myself dreaming of you
You whom I should have banished from my mind ages ago
You with the chiseled face, dancing eyes
And the body of a bronzed statue
You who are but a pretty face
Should not have such a lasting hold over my heart
Lest anyone be mistaken,
You are not Him whom I bared my heart to in words
But mayhaps in my actions
In my bid to get your attention
Oh foolish is the one in love(lust???)
When shall I ever be rid of your spells

I am feeling so weak and woozy now after taking the medicines...Finally went to see the doctor yesterday without any persuasion from anyone as I had enough of coughing so badly at night that I couldnt sleep. Verdict: I had a slight flu...ah well, better it be slight than a flu blown one right? I was given some antibiotics and told, no exercise...blah blah blah...Just great..but the good thing is, since friday, my meals consist of soupy stuff..no chocolates, no cookies, no...unhealthy stuff, I didnt even have the appetite to eat them anyway, so it was no big loss, surprisingly. So these few days, no studying done, obviously because I kept feeling so drowsy that once I started reading the textbook, I will start nodding off..

Just hope that I get better soon, so that I can start tackling my books and have a restful sleep instead of waking up every minute to cough. I hate taking the cough medication, one of the chief reasons why I always avoid going to see the doctor, it must be the vilest liquid that was ever invented, I will hail the day they start producing cough tablets.

I cant access my blog...its says bandwidth exceeded...how exceedingly annoying

Cough Cough.......woke up in the middle of the night because of my coughing fits....had such a lousy night..it'd be the death of me.

SIgh...2 lects later and bike quest meeting..

And all I want to do is sleep

Yay!! Finally managed to change my blogskin by myself, without any help whatsoever..took me so long to choose a nice one...and even longer to figure out all the stuff. I was getting kinda sick of all the strawberries..hahah..took me the better part of the night to do, which means that I didnt get any studying done today...I really have to start getting worried soon, but it seems that I am still taking things easy, very easy indeed.

At least my marketing tutorial today was very interesting..Didnt fall asleep despite my drowsiness..my cough is getting really bad..oh yeah, anyway, my marketing tutor is damn power and is my new idol. She has such a passion for teaching and the flair as well..her heavily accented english revealed her hongkong roots and she said as much. Apparently this ex general manager of a American Company decided to resign to fulfill her calling in life, which is to bring a difference to other ppl's life. And i really hope she would in mine, make me more positive about myself and what I want in life.

Its been more than a week since I have been to the gym due to my busy schedule and more recently my illness. Just hope that all my past hard work wont go down the drain, but at least i havent been able to snack, one positive outcome of sore throat. I am deprived of chocolates and surprisingly don't crave for it..that is such a first. But then again, everything taste tasteless now...sigh...hope I get better soon. Chinese new year is just around the corner...I do not want to be deprived of all the goodies.

Me and steph at the arts bash....thats the only pic I took :( 

I am really tired. As I have said so many times before, tues is my mammoth day and I always feel dead tired at the end of the day, and for 3 consecutive tues, we have been celebrating ppl's birthdays. So I head off at 8am in the morning and come home at 10pm..still, I am not complaining, its always nice to meet up with Kaetnians.

I guess my past week of junk foods and chocolates and cookies and whatever has finally led to a snowball effect and I have now feeling the effects of it, with sore throat and bouts of dry hacking cough. Still, lets pray that I have not succumbed to the flu virus that has been going around.

It is now the third week of school and I have still not started on any of my readings or textbooks. I can feel that this term is going to be different, with all the reformed slackers turned muggers and the people who are really muggers. I guess a leopard will never change its spots for I am still chitchating in lectures and not reading my notes. During mkting, I completely switched off and talked to Elizabeth throughout lect. During changing landscapes, despite the very hard-working, high capped score Steph sitting next to me, shooting me black looks of disapproval at our noise level, I still did not pay attention. I wonder what would really make me change....hmm

Shall turn in early tonite..and hopefully my husky voice would be back to normal tomorrow..TS prac tmr...die die...hope I wont be called up again, the last time was really excruciating. Still pondering what is my ambition, what I want from life and how to go about achieving it. But this I do know, I want to be somebody...like duh, who doesnt.

ps: I saw this really cute guy in my marketing lecture and have been seeing him in the past 3 lectures. Dare I say I am smitten? Not really, I havent been smitten by anyone since JC...ahem days. I do like the feeling of being infatuated, at least it gives me something to look forward to..but I don't think there is anything more than him being my eyecandy, especially in the boring marketing lectures, it gives me something to look forward to every Tues...though I have had enough of 'chasing' after guys, enough of heartbreak..no, thats too strong a word, though unrequited 'love' isnt very pleasant. How i wish I would get chased instead..but is always by someone whom I totally have no interest in. Valentine's day is coming soon...what are the chances of me getting something from a secret admirer? Zero...

my temp hairstyle....i look sooo totally different 

Back from Rouge..after dancing hard for 2hrs. I wore a black swirley mini skirt and a maroon spag strap. Mom shook her head and tsktsked me and launched into yet another tirade about the same old topics. I was determined not to let her spoil my night, and thus just ignored what she said.

The music was good initially, r&b and I danced with Cindy and her friends. I love dancing, just shaking your booty and swaying to the music. The music turned sucky very soon, just about after I got back from buying drinks...it was trance music which I didnt like much..Saw steph with his boss and took a pic with him.. I lost cindy in the crowd, so stuck with Optoians and danced with Bianca, I figured that since I was there, might as well enjoy myself to the fullest. And I was quite amazed by my energy, I didnt feel tired at all, other then being hot and sweaty... Bianca was soon dancing away with another guy while some other guy asked me to dance. I didnt mind dancing with him, but I did mind the way he kept putting his hands on my waist and hips. Next to me, a girl was getting hot and heavy with a guy she just met. I guess its just me, I can dance like nobody's business, but I draw the lines at such intimacy with a stranger. So after a while, I just stopped, and left soon after, when I realized they were not going to change the music.

Realized that the hair stylist had layered my hair till its very thin when I was washing my hair.. Plus after the curling effect wears off, its going to look horrendous, with bangs and all....sigh..bad decision

Just came back from the hair salon...With a drastically different hairstyle, at least only for tonight. I requested her to just trim off the ends and she convinced me to cut a fringe. And she did a temporary perm for me just at the ends and it made me look so mature that I wasnt sure it was me looking back into the mirror. I felt so conspicuous walking on the streets, sort of like overdone..Ah well, new look and my mom thinks its not too bad.

Weeee, looking forward to arts bash tonite. Think tonite would be the last nite I club, at least during sch term. Mom didnt really approve of me going and started to tell me about all the bad things that happen there. She calls it a place of sin(rolls eyes). I beg to differ. Everywhere is a place of sin, its just a matter of self-control rite? I don't think I would ever succumb to any temptation whatsoever. I rebuff the advances of unknown guys, I don't smoke, I drink in moderation(martini,butterscotch snapp...) and ditto for drugs. But ah well, I shall try to respect her wishes by going a fewww times a year, after all, all parents would be worried that their kids go astray.

Just go enjoy myself to the fullest tonite. Sigh, but with a curfew of 'don't come back too late tonite'.....how late is late anyway...

Today was a productive day. Spent the afternoon calling up companies to sponsor the Bike Quest. So far, I havent had much luck, but at last managed to rope in Cleo to sponsor 200 magazines...Hooray!! The rush that I felt on hearing that was heady. On the contrary, the rest of the people that I called were either brusque or politely turning me down.. It was like a slap to the face everytime they declined. But I guess I learned to be more thick-skinned.

Decided to head down to orchard to get out of the house. Went to takashimay and went around the atrium which was choke full of all the differet bakeries selling new year goodies vying for the attention of customers to try their products. I was a happy customer indeed, went around sampling different ones. A veritable feast indeed...muahaha...Going to orchard never fails to lift my spirit when I am feeling down. Have to go shopping soon...buy new year clothes..hee...And I need to trim my hair,going next week, Mom keeps commenting that my hair resembled a patch of wild grass..hrumppp..what a thing to say about my pride and glory..*frowns* But yeah, even I have to admit that it is somewhat dry at the ends, so hopefully a trim would restore it to its former shining glory....yeah, as if...

I had my first theatre studies practical today and to say that I feel drained of my energy is really to say the least. But it was interesting and rather fascinating. We had to do seemingly silly things like walking around the room or in a rectangle at different speeds and when we are walking at a fast pace in an enclosed area, an inevitable thing would be to bump into people, and I did quite a couple of times.

I guess this module could help me get out of the shell, instead of always being so passive and quiet and laidback. Instead, I have to take an active role. Forces me out of my shell, so to speak. We had a prety fun exercise, to act out different scenarios that the instructor tells us to. The instructor was randomly picking people to do things. And I was crossing my fingers and praying that he would not call me..But soo unfortunately I was picked..and made to do something very hard indeed...I was supposed to imagine that somebody very close and dear to me had just met with an accident and died, and I had to convey to the class why that person was so dear to me-without the use of words, but by using alphabets ... That means I had to go, "khkspo.....gfgdaa....fgg"...u catch the drift. It felt sooo unnatural and so silly. The worst part was that I had to move( as in touch) the class so that they would get up from where they were sitting and join me.. I have never experienced the death of a loved one,nor do i want it to happen(its inevitable,i know), plus I always have stage fright, plus with 20 pair of eyes staring at me, I don't think that I did very well..I just wanted to get it over and done with. So thus i spent 10mins sprouting alphabets and trying hard to concentrate and put my mind in the role...

Its going to be a hard 10weeks, I just hope that this course would give me the confidence that I so severely lack and to be able to speak out and be natural in front of an audience.. Meanwhile, finally managed to catch up with jules for late lunch at Mac's( the twister fries are really delicious, especially drenched in mayo) .. Lately even though I see her everyday, we hardly talk as we are always in a big group...reallie had a great time chitchatting...

Its 10am in the morning and I want nothing better than to sink down into my pillow and fall into a deep dreamless sleep. But that, I know, is just wishful thinking, I have a class at 12pm. As of now, I feel tired, hopeless and at a dilemna. I had a long day yesterday, a very long day which started at 9 and ended at 8.30. I kept to my promise of paying attention in lecture, that is, until my psych lect from 6-8.30pm by which I was too hungry and restless to pay attention. At least dinner was satisfying, we went to NYDC to celebrate Crystal's birthday. I finally tried the pecan pie that I had so craved for and decided that I was better off with a cheesecake.. Went home to discover that I was only allocated 2 modules that I wanted. Shitty news indeed. Kaetnians then had a 'emergency' pow-wow in the msn chatroom to discuss. The worst is that I would be doing psych tutorial alone as everybody except me got the slot that we had all decided on.. Stayed up until 2am to think through, not that it helped...

Woke up at 7am, noGo thanks to my doggies who cannot resist making some wake-up calls, so feeling grumpy and groggy now. Plus I feel quite detached from my body, like going through life mechanically...Can I ever escape this vicious cycle..

HElllppp!!! Gotta change and go to sch now....

The weekends zoomed past very fast and tomorrow is Monday...again. I shouldnt be complaining as I don't have lessons tomorrow. Its tuesday that I am dreading, lessons from 9am-8...Arghh... So I promised myself that from tomorrow onwards, I have to stop slacking and try to be more positive and optimistic.

I had quite a nice saturday. I went swimming in the afternoon as the weather was really hot. The refreshing swim helped to clear my mind and dispel some of the irritability I was feeling. Went to watch The aviator with Brennan at night. I didnt really like the movie much and found it too long and draggy. I was squirming in my seat towards the end. But I like Cate Blanchett's portrayal of Katherine Hepburn. We had a nice dinner at Olio Dome though I didnt really fancy the olio smoothe that I tried(strawberry,banana and mango). Should have ordered the Libido booster that Brennan tried(Chocolate and banana)...but oh well..Ahh, and he bought famous amos cookies to bring into the cinema as well..The first bite was really blisss... Dad picked me up at around 11 plus because he had a wedding dinner to attend and Brennan was sweet enough to wait for him with me.

Sunday as usual was spent doing nothing productive, though I started reading my psychology textbook which was pretty interesting. I had to ask Dad for money for my books and everytime I do that, he would launch into a tirade about my mom and why she can't pay and all that. Thats why I hate asking money from him and try not to unless its really necessary. So I guess it means I have to start looking for tuition again to feed my needs, literally. There is still so much enmity between him and my mom and it makes me quite sad and sometimes in a difficult position as well especially in money matters. I was suddenly reminded of the socie lect on childhood and youth where the lecturer pointed out that almost 90% of children who grew up in a single-parent family were likely to have disorders, be more rebellious..blah blah blah... I was quite indignant as I didnt feel that was the case. I grew up in a single-parent family and mine could be considered pretty traumatic, but yet I feel that I am quite normal... Ahh well...

Yay, I managed to get through the first week of school..It was harder than last sem. Each day was a struggle for me, though actually in actual fact, I only had two days of lessons this week, but oh boy, these two days are sure packed for me. It was an endurance test, to see how long I can last in lectures without falling asleep, switching off, daydreaming etc, or how much I understood of what was being thought.

One would have thought then that my free days were put to good use. Nope, I simply lazed around house, slacking....I feel really disgusted with myself at times, why do I lack energy for one so young. I read other ppl's blog and marvel at their seemingly endless activities while still coping with their school work and feel more than a tinge of envy for the lives they lead, if only mine were so....But am I too lazy to achieve what I want or simply because I cant be bothered. I am in the committee for bike quest and my job is supposed to call up sponsors, but yet I am sooo lazy that I don't even feel like calling them, though by sheer will, I have managed to call up some, but to not much avail. I feel like giving up, but I know I can't...the event is in two weeks away and so far, we havent found much substantial sponsors... And Diana and Ning asked me to be the matric fair IC and secretaty for arts bash 2 respectively. My first thoughts were, would it take up too much of my time, does it require a lot of enegery and work. It seems like these days I am shirking from activities that require me to be up and about. I wonder what happened to the girl who was so enthusiatic to try our everything and be part of everything. When did I become such a couch potato whose only goal in live is to eat and eat and enjoy life, not that I derive much pleasure from doing both nowadays. I am soo filled with self-disgust now.. I really hope that I snap out of this stupor soon, the lethargic spells that leave my brain so fuzzy and unmotivatedness.

Going to lectures shouldnt be such a chore... Life shouldnt revolve around food. I should set some firm goals and stick to it. I hope the day would come where I actually enjoy going to lectures and eat like a normal person. I feel so much better after writing it all out...

Today's psy lect was actually pretty interesting, and so was sociology-childhood and youth, for once, I actually paid attention and hey...I did not fall asleep. I have lunch with Kaetnians on a almost daily affair and it has gotten to the stage where we are all very comfortable around each other, something that I am glad about, there is nothing like friends to pull you through the difficult times in life. But that stupid shiang has been 'suaning' me the whole day, since the start of psy lect at 12 to when we all parted at 7 at city hall about my unusual appetite, my blurness, the fact that I spent so much more on my socie module than other ppl....etc...bet he derives a perverted sense of satisfaction when I give him my pissed-off- you-are-so- dead look. Ahh wel;, he can be pretty entertaining at times,so.....(hope he reads this)

Going off to bed now...been having late nights everyday. I am giving myself till end of this week to snap out of it and a new optimistic, energy bursting Tressa will emerge..

Just came back from dinner with my favourite cousin Cecilia who treated me to dinner at Marriot's coffee house after we shopped around at takashimaya. The smoked chicken penne pasta was excellent and the sauce was creamy without being too rich and the chocolate hazelnut crunch cake that I had as dessert at her insistence(though I didnt put up much of a protest) was superb, really yummilicious and is my favourite type of chocolate cake, which is a crunchy praline base topped with a truffle cake with a thin layer of chocolate sponge. She also gave me a box of caramel chocolate shortcake from Thornton's chocolatier from Scotland...weeeeee

I met my cousin's friend who joined us for dinner as well who reminded me of a high flying career power woman, she looked so groomed and all.. And I guess she is, in a way, an accountant with a british boyfriend...wow... I can just imagine myself leading this type of life, good paying job, go spas with friends, go cafes and all that... Yeah rite, thats just a daydream, building castles in the air but still, it doenst hurt to dream, maybe it'd spur me on in my studies, in my pursuit of my dreams..

Also present at dinner was my little niece charlotte who was really a handful and would make anyone think twice about giving birthday, but she is sooo cute and adorable that I couldnt help but keep cuddling her. She is learning how to walk as well, so after dinner, while the two women chatted away, I took her for a walk around the hotel and felt a auntie's pride when strangers stopped by to say hello to her. There was a caucasian lounging nearby who kept staring at us, wonder what he was looking at, the sight of a supposed young girl with her baby or he thought I was fair game. Whatever it was, I felt uncomfortable being under his gaze, and made a quick exit..

Today was such a slackish day..how nice if everyday can be like that, no lessons, but yet in school and in town instead of slacking at home....

Today was the official first day of school for me..mon is my free day, horray!!! And it was a super packed day. 9-10am First lect of the day, the eccentric but comical theatre studies lecturer was very amusing and had the ability to capture the attention of everybody present. 10-12 marketing lect..Stephen and I had to huff and puff our way up and down the stairs to biz from lt 12..By the time we reached there, the lecture theatre was already fully packed. The lecture itself is boring( dear dear, hope I manage to keep to my resolution of paying attention in lects) but I was ppl watching as always and there was this guy cute in front of me *grinz*.. 12-1 lunch at the deck, hooray, get to have to break at last, had missed The Deck during the hols.. 1-2 arts club booth duty, all I had to do was give out flyers which was done in no time, after that, we just sat around and slacked. 2-4 Changing landscapes lecture...despite my strong desire to keep awake, I couldnt help but doze off for 15mins, my resolution is getting very hard to keep to....indeed.

The lecture ended at 3.30 after which the kaetnians went to my house to celebrate Shiang and gsy's birthday..We ordered pizza which came with drumlets and garlic bread, plus my mom provided egg custard plus there was this super huge and delicious choc truffle cake plus before that we ate a lot of snacks, so that sums up to a super full and bloated tressa= soon to be fat tressa.... It was very fun and doubly meaningful to celebrate two birthdays..so we just chilled out in the roofgarden where the 'prize' presentation ceremony took place and also the cake cutting session and also where we posed for all the photographs...

Its 1 am and I am hungry.....derek is right...my stomach is like a bottomless pitt...shall give in to temptation yet again...*reaches for honey grahams*

Tomorrow is the start of Semester 2, and I have mixed feelings about that. Partly happy because I can get out of the house and see my friends regularly and well, have things to do intead of slacking around meaninglessly at home and partly sad because my idyllic life would end, that is no studying,no stress, no exam.... I guess its not really that idyllic as I feel so tired, lacklustre, unmotivated, its really a waste of time. Everytime I attempt to pick up a textbook to read, my eyes start to close and I doze off. But when I am doing other things, I am happily wide awake. I wonder when is this vicious cycle going to end. How can I be motivated and teeming with energy without the need of coffee to give me that unhealthy caffeine boost. I wonder....

I hope that this would not continue when sch starts, when I fall asleep instead of reading my readings, and come awake for msn at nite. I need a goal, a motivation, something that would jolt me everynow and then to remind me that university is only about enjoying life and not studying, its about gaining knowledge and applying that knowledge which I would put to use when I work in future, and not just a slip of paper stating that I am a degree holder.

Was watching the Ren Ci charity show, or rather, caught snippets of it. Saw the part where Bryan Wong had to park a car in a small space, without knocking down cardboard boxers which made up the enclosement. That really required lots of skills, practice and courage. He succeeded both times and in the last and most challenging one, he knocked down a few of the boxes, thus failing to succeed. His disappointment was so palpable and he was clearly so distraught. He was given another chance to perform the act...I was riveted to the screen. This time, he succeeded and he was jumping for joy when he came out of the car. At that moment, I felt his triumph at succeeding in what he had set out to do. As he emphasized, its not all about succeeding, but about trying your best. But whats trying your best when you don't succeed, and what is success and what is failure.... He had a goal--> to park the car in the lot without knocking down the boxes, in the name of charity, to raise money for charity, he had to succeed. And with that goal in mind, despite his initial failure, he perservered and succeeded. This is, but a small lesson in life, one which I hope would stay with me, to concentrate on the goal which I have set out for myself and be focused. There might be barriers on the way, I might fall down more than once, but with perseverance, I will reach the finishing line.

It seems like I am in a pensive and contemplative mood today and well, perhaps slacking too much does that to a person. But come what may, I hope that I would be able to pull thorough..

Had a great day today...Caught a movie with Kaetna ppl...meet the fockers is such a great movie..its like 2hrs of pure entertainment and kept us tickled throughout the whole show, its filled with sexual innuedoes and Robert Deniro's poker face. After the movie, we just hang around orchard and walked around. It was realli fun walking around in a big group and sharing lame jokes and teasing each other about love interests..Yes, we have been pairing ppl up with one another...Scandalous affair...hahah...just don't count me in...I dont want to be a errr... 'ér nái' hahah...as i said...scandalous affairs..but I guess its all part of the fun and certainly not true..

Hee, had a yummy treat to Haagen Daaz after that, thanks to Brennan...Was being an agony aunt to him...yes..hope it all works out fine for him,but I still don't think meeting a person through the internet is a good way of starting a relationship. Oh well, anyway I enjoyed myself and we stayed there for 2 hrs,long after we had demolished our ice-creams. Guess thats because we are on the same wavelength..and the most important thing we have in common is that we absolutely lovve choc...hahah...Weird how we never really talked during AC days, but yet can still meet up for ice-cream and hold 'meaningful' conversations(heehe)...

Glad the cors biddings are over and I got all the modules that I wanted...after all the headaches and getting my socie modules for 650 points while others got it for 1 just because I didnt declare my major.. On the other hand, I got theatre studies and principals of marketing for only 1 point and psy at a definitely much lower point then last semester... Well, we take some and we lose some, we can't have everything we want, i guess. Ah well, time to look forward to a new start, put old things behind me and start afresh. I hope I would learn my mistake and learn to pay attention in lects and take an avid interest in the things I am taught. Believe in myself that I can do it, because if I don't believe in myself, who will?

And yes, my new year resolution(though I have never known myself to keep any) is:

1. Study hard this semester and have higher expectations for myself
2. Spend quality time with mom and try(reallie hard) to quarrel with her less...
3. Stop eating like there is no tomorrow and cut teddy grahams out of my diet(yes, I am still eating that stuff)

Almost slacked the whole afternoon away today, good thing mom had dancing lesson the whole day, if not I could not have slacked in peace, with her censorious looks. Its sad, the last few days of the hols and I darent go out, to avoid risking my mom's wrath again. I guess she'd only be happy if I stay home the whole day and don't go out. I was so right, I had a argument with her yesterday where she accused me of the usual things. I retorted that I was already 20(in oct) anyway and deserved to have more freedom. Oh, why are our arguments always about the same old thing, unresolved issues. And our relationship is so volatile, we can be so amiable towards each other while sometimes it is so sour that home is no longer a solace, but where I would rather avoid.

Had a interesting late afternoon when I met a male friend to help pick out a gift for a mutual female friend whom he likes but is not making any move towards her. Why is love such a complicated thing..When you like someone, you have to consider so many other factors before you can even do anything about it. Being in a relationship can make one so very happy that nothing else matters, but yet it has the capability to turn someone into a wreck as well when it fails. For me, who has never been in a relationship before, I do so yearn to savour that bittersweet feeling of that thing called love, but on the other hand, thankful that I have yet to experience the downside of it, which I am sure is extremely painful. Oh why am I even on this topic anyway...hmm...nobody in mind...absolutely nobody

the card playing gang 

caught in the act 

Everybody in full force 

The girls of kaetna 

TreSSa the blading girl...don't I look cool 

Yes, I am back from the Kaetnian chalet...three of the most awesome, incredible, mindblowingly enjoyable days I had in a very long time. I felt that we really really bonded during the chalet, I saw sides of people that I never thought I would see. Like Shiang, despite all his suaning and occassional AS-ness, he has a soft interior. I feel so blessed to be part of the group, everybody is really great, and Kaetna guys are da best, so are the gals of course. I really feel that the chalet just sealed our fate to 'bonded' together through university days and hopefully even after that.

The first day of the chalet which was on Sun was dampened by the dreary weather where it rained continuously throughout the whole day. I met Kelvin and Jerry at bedok mrt at around 4 to check into Coasta Sands while the rest went to carrefour. By the time everybody reached, it was around 7.30 and by the time the fire was started and all, it was already 8 and everybody was starving. Thankfully the sausage, cuttlefish balls and salad heped to fill up the space first, while the good things came later. It was really fun, we had shifts where some ppl were doing the bbqing, while some were enjoying the air-conditioned comfort of the room playing cards, while some were chatting in the kitchen. So after the bbq and derek's belated bday celebration, we spent the rest of the night was spent taking pics, playing cards and chatting, until I started nodding off at 4am...It was quite fun squeezing everybody into a tiny room...4 to a bed and the rest either on the mattress or die-hard card fans who continued with playing cards instad of sleeping.

The next day was a more exciting one... Had brunch at Mac's with steph, issy and derek, while the rest of the sleepyheads were sleeping, where we took a lot of pictures using my camera phone(wish to share the pics too, but I havent figured out how to do the infrared thing). After the rest had eaten, after we caught another 40 winks, after much dilly-dallying, we finally set off for cycling and me rollerblading. I adamantly refused to cycle, despite the lack of company, having set my heart on rollerblading which I had not done in years. I got off to a shaky start, having to cling on to Kel before we reached the main road and I whizzed away, easily catching up with the other cyclists. It was such an exhilarating feeling, going at a high speed and feeling the wind in my face. We went to Bedok Jetty and stationed ourselves there enjoying each other's company while taking alot of pics as usual.

After dinner at a hawker center, we headed to kbox for some singing. We really sang out lungs and hearts out, all the way until 2am before we reluctantly headed back to the chalet. I was still full of energy despite lack of sleep, and still wanting to roller-blade, I managed to persuade steph, kelvin, derek and jerry to go along. So we set off at 4am and headed to Bedok Jetty again. I was a bit terrified of being left behind and having any supernatural encounters,so I stayed close to the guys. It was lovely blading at night, with no one around and the fresh air and the cold breeze. Bedok jetty was pretty desserted as well, save the few people who were fishing there. It was a really lovely starry night and the sea was really calm. Wished I could stay there..like infinitely...just the thought of going home made me sad....

We bidded audieu to each other at 1pm and I trudged on for my journey home, my heart and legs felt so heavy.. I took my own sweet time getting home, only to realize that mom wasnt home...horray...didnt feel up to sparring with her just then. She had all but hang up on me when I called home from chalet(during ktv session), thus dampening my spirits, spoiling my fun and making me wonder why I had a mom like her, who hate seeing me enjoy myself. Is there anything wrong with enjoying yourself to the fullest during the hols? Thankfully Issy was there to cheer me up which was what I needed at my lowest moment, I hate crying,which I deem a sign of weakness, but I was so flooded with emotions that it was prety much uncontrollable.

I miss chalet.....

It was the last day of work and a half day, so the day zoomed past pretty fast. When I left, everybody gave me farewell gifts, though I had only worked for 3 weeks, so sweet of them, I was so sad to be leaving, and my office god-mother who always gave me things hugged me. I was pretty close to tears. I assured them that I would be back the next holiday as.

Orchard was sooo crowded and even though there were many things on sale, I wasnt quite in the mood to squeeze with the crowd and dig through stashes of clothes only to find that they don't have my size. I looked longingly at Zara and Mango, both of which was packed with people. Never mind, I shall wait for tmr when I go SHOPPING..hooray..

I went to watch the Phantom of the Opera with yumin,jul, shiang and brennan. Weird combination as not everyone knew each other. But the movie was superb. Yes, the voice may not be as good as the original cast( like duhhh, esp the phantom), but it was great. I liked Christine's crystal clear voice and Raoul's dashing looks. The movie was soo sad and touching, about love, betrayal, sacrifice...The part where Christine was willing to stay with the phantom to save Raoul's life was especialy touching. Jul and shiang had to rush off immediately after the movie, so yumin and brennan and I went to Mos for dinner. It was quite an enjoyable affair with lots of crapping and laughter.. there can be lots of lameness even though the King and queen of lameness ,Derek and Julia are not around( hehe,derek dun kill me).

We decided to go to Esplanade for the countdown, joining my JC classmates there. But we only stayed for a while because it was so crowded everywhere and all the eateries were so crowded, with nary a seat in sight with long queues forming outside. The scenery was breathtaking as always, but I wasnt really in the mood for celebration, what with the tragedy occuring in South-asia, with Singapore so fortunately kept out of harm's way. It didnt feel right somehow to celebrate and enjoy ourselves while our neighbouring countries are shrouded in darkness, mourning for the death of their loved ones, some fighting to stay alive and so filled with bleakness.

I reached home before 12, after being stuck around the clark quay and MS area for quite a while. Mom was already in bed, probably being pissed off at me for not spending New year'e eve with her, having just scolded me for always being out with friends. I was like??? I had only stopped working and apart from Zouk on wed and watching movie and going to Esplanade today, I didnt go anywhere else. I can sense it coming, the start of another quarrel. Its always about the same old issues, me going out too often, enjoying myself too much, wearing too revealing clothers(as if)..She told me off for being so self-centred, that my life revolved around myself, with enjoyment as the key word, treating the house as a hotel..lalala...Its really dampening to my spirits to hear all these, when I am determined to be happy, how can I be, when a girl on the threshold of adulthood still cannot get the freedom she wants.

On a happier not, it is now the start of a new year, with new hopes, new resolutions. Hopefully it'd be a fresh start for me and I will not muck it up again.