To reveal or not to reveal

I got into a fiery debate with my mum today... and it all started with a mole. Well, I discovered a mole near the vicinity of my hips today which had probably sprouted out in the past week cos I have never seen it before and I always notice such things, and moles CAN BE CANCEROUS. So I mentioned it in passing to her and showed it to her. When i straightened up, she told me not to wear my jeans cut so low (until what is known as buttcleavage can be seen). I supposed she was only cautioning me not to do it and not actually referring to my dressing, but I was on the defensive immediately. The 'guai' part of me urged me to be silent and obediently say 'yes mum'. The rebellious part to say what is wrong with showing butt cleavage. Rebellion won out, I immediately retorted something to the effect that I never wore revealing clothes, and that i didn't see anything wrong with that. I was feeling pretty indignant because firstly I feel that my dressing is pretty decent, I seldom wear 'revealing' clothes and my jeans are not all that low. And secondly I felt it was pretty hypocritical of her to admonish me when she wears spaghetti straps more often than me. My smirk must have been too obvious for she went into a tirade immediately.

I really could have done without it

sigh

Why did I argue with her, my own fault I guess. But I HAD to....I felt so restricted, so controlled...No late outings,no clubbing, cannot be scantily clad(not that i want to...just a matter of rights), must always report my movements to her.....sigh, I am so contradictory. I think I just wanted to be perverse(as in not the twisted kind). I am not even that fond of wearing short short skirts, or bare back stuff or low cut tops...u get the drift...think I would feel very uncomfortable...I'd rather feel comfortable, look nice and be ME. Anway we just got into this long debate which ended pretty amiably. But I felt that the matter was still not resolved and it would not be long before the sleeping volcano errupts again.

When mum is angry, she digresses very easily. And would start scolding me for other things that I thought I had gotten away with. Anyway what is worst is that she will tell me to go and live with my dad instead. What she never fails to say in every argument is that I treat the house like a stepping stone and that if I am not happy with her dictatorial ways I can always get out.

Man I always feel like a ball which she can throw around when she says that. Arent I like her responsibility or something??? The first time she said that, I felt so hurt that I cried the whole night. Nowadays I am quite numb to that already,but still....sigh...

A lousy night, got further scolded by my dad when I called him at night for not passing on the school's bills to him. He ranted on and on about responsibility and threatening not to pay for the next sem and I was like WHATEVER, AS IF (ok i din have the guts to come right out and say it) and since I was using the handsfree, I did not pay much attention to him and when it got to my breaking point, I simply removed the earplug for a few seconds before replacing them and making the suitable responses like 'yeah', 'hmm', 'yes i know', 'yes i am sorry', 'i wont do it again'....etc.... Bad of me, I know...but try being scolded by two parents in a row....not very pleasant.......Feeling very grumpy now, which is unusual.....hopefully tmr will be a better day