I am dying soon....So many things to do. Theatre Studies term paper due next mon. Marketing project, tutorials. Readings for all 5 modules which I have sadly neglected, or else read but forgotten, which is equivalent to not having read at all. Driving test next tues, so this week would be 'intensive training'. The salsa lessons which I want to continue would have to be KIVed till the term break I guess. I think its due to my poor time management and the fact that I day-dream too much.

Got back my psych test result today. Saying that its bad its quite an understatement. I consoled myself that for someone who had not studied, its not too bad, and at least my score is far from being the lowest. Thats me for you, always finding excuses. Some might call it looking at the bright side of things. I call it low expectations of myself. Seriously, I never learn, do I? Realized today that my psych lecturer and tutor is actually a very nice person, down to earth and caring. He had misplaced my paper and i had to go back to his office with him and on the way there, he made small talks and talked to me about sch work and stuff. Feeling a tinge of shame for having dismissed him as a boring, longwinded lecturer.

Went for another haircut today. I wanted a change from my usual, boring long hair which I have had for as long as I remember. Feeling adventurous, I told the hairdresser, cut it the way you think would suit me, but not too short pls. The result was that half of my hair was snipped off. Left me looking quite punkish according to my mom, trendy....whatever.. Give me my hair back...Arghh....

Oops!! OK..just another short little entry here, to round the nite up with a lighthearted entry. I am on a roll..Humour me..

Dad and I were having dinner at Chinatown on sat, some street side hawker thingy. He was like so insistent on going despite the weather, some foodie huh? Guess I am like him in this aspect,though give me cheesecake and choc truffle anytime. I stuck quite adamantly to my shredded chicken porridge though he wanted to order alot more, and a sweet almond dessert to round it up. I murmured that I was sort of on a diet. He would understand, being more of a gym maniac than me,trying to work off his errmmm spare tyres, though his voracious appetite quite defeats the purpose. Throughout dinner, we were ppl watching. To be specific, checking out babes and for me ,babes and hunks. Everytime both of us are out, we would always keep an eye out for pretty girls. To me, I like looking at pretty girls, the aesthetic part of it,I suppose. Whenever we see one, we would nudge the other, and proceed to comment about her. He would always remark wistfully that it was a pity I was not a boy. That day, I told him that he could do it with his future son-in-law(a bit early eh? I might do a Sumiko Tan for all I know). He asked, won't I be jealous? I said, why would I be, I check out guys too, and girls too, for that matter. Then I reflected, which normal woman wouldnt feel something, seeing her bf or husband ogling other woman. Note to guys, females are contradictory creatures, extremely so. Its okay to look, but please do be discrete and be aware of when the saliva is coming out. ;)

I watched Someone Like You yesterday nite. Actually didnt manage to watch the whole thing as Dad thought it was a silly show and kept switching to some even sillier taiwanese variety show, which was, alright...silly but entertaining. But I manged to catch the gist of it. A pretty, sassy, SEXY, confident career woman is dumped by a guy and managed to find true love with another guy who becomes a reformed womanizer and love cynic(who by the way is sooo droolicious). And so its happily ever after. Or is it?

We never know. Never know when the happy guy might decide that you are not good enough for him and start searching for greener pastures. Or think with his some parts of his anatomy other than his head(trying not to be crude). There is, after all,this saying that 9 out of 10 men are bastards, and the 10th is a gay. I wonder how true is this.

Oh I know, all the guys would protest when they read this. I am surprised by my own entry too. After all, I am a romantic. I truly am. I firmly believe that there is true love. I believe in many things about love. But on the other hand, I am a cynic as well. Which is not surprisingly, given the things I have seen and witnessed, how not to be? Some of you might know what I am referring to, some might not. On the other hand, there are men like my dad, who is still a bachelor, despite more than 15 years of divorce from my mom. I suspect that like me, he is a cynic as well, having his heart broken and I suspect not mended is making him steer clear of women despite my continued urgings. He is nursing grudges too, lots of it. And I am the ham(or whatever) sandwiched in between them. Love hurts. Definitely. A close friend of mine is nursing a broken heart though both of them obviously like each other, but due to circumstances, cannot pursue a relationship. My heart breaks for her, truly. Yet I am helpless. A shoulder to cry on is all that I can offer. What about me? Where do I stand?

2 sad entries in a day is too much. I promise tmr would be a happier one, for I am sure Jekyll would be back then. Okok.. Disclaimer: I am NOT sad, just feeling pensive....

Don't go there
NOOO!!!
Don't go there
My brain is ignoring me
I think I am thinking too much
Thinking of things that ain't going to happen
Or at least not yet

Did I just say a few days back to take things as they come
Did i just say I would just hope for the best
Take everything in stride come what may
Wasnt it only fri that i was radiating with happiness
Seems like Hyde is back
I am selfish, insecure and overly sensitive
But I try not to show it
To avoid hurting people
Which is the last thing I want to do

I am a deranged fool
Uttering nonsense here
Just ignore me

There is nothing more satisfying then drinking hot chocolate topped with frothy whipped cream and especially if its made by moi, the redoubtable Teresa Koh of course..hehe..Not that my life isnt satifying enough now. I am totally brimming over with optimism and happiness...hmm.. Though there are thousand and one things for me to do which I have yet to do, I shan't give up hope, why should I when He hasnt given up on me?

Just finished cleaning my room and moping the house, in a conciliatory gesture to my mom. NO mean feat, cleaning the house...sigh. But it gives me a sense of satisfaction to make my room spick and span. Ooh, and especially after I had finally gotten rid of the unwelcome visitor-xiao qiang, albeit with lots of shrieks and screams, and with the lingering trace of Baygon...

Its really time I stop day-dreaming and start studying seriously. Time really flies and before I know it, the exams would be upon us again..I don't want to be unprepared for this next battle again. Now that I have put all unhappiness behind me, I can stop being so distracted.. Or can I? Haha...

Today was such a tiring day...Went for the SS fieldtrip to NHB-national heritage board which is actually at Asian Civilization museum which I went to last semester for my SEA module. It was a teeny bit boring, and walking about the museum for almost 2 hrs with my huge bag is such a chore that I started to develop backache..man, I am getting old....

I am happier than I have been in days, free of the burden that has been plaguing me, my heart. I have decided to let things be, let it work itself out. I shall just sit back and let things take its own course. Yeah..so I will just keep Faith, put myself in His hands and be sure that HE will make things alright one day.

Right now I am feeling ridiculously high and happy. Deliriously happy...Woohoooo....happy happy happy HAPPY.... Its really like rainbow after the storm. So glad I sorted out my thoughts...Socie test...oops...totally unprepared...but as Derek put it, I am the best crapper around..so hmm yeah..just hope for the best. But Derek is tooo modest..he is a better crapper than me of course..right, animal rightsactivist(rolls eyes)? Fancy scolding me the whole night for killing a cockroach which I didnt even managed to kill before it made its escape(shudders). Genocidist indeed,,yeah I do wish I can completly wipe out cockroaches, and other creepy crawlies, the world would be a much better place without it. . Ok..i am going to stop...totally incoherent now..must be the time..oh gosh..3 am already..better catch some sleep. Ciao!!

Had driving lesson early in the morning today. I am getting increasingly tired of driving around for 11/2 hour..really hope I pass it this time round, and the test date is exactly 2 weeks away. Had lunch with my cousin and her husband, Cecilia and Colin and my niece Charlotte( all Cs) and they treated me to Ah Hoi's kitchen and ordered ALOT of food, and I mean alot. But it was all very delicious and yummy, but of course, almost all were deep-fried stuff.. Charlotte is getting really really adorable, so sweet and cuddly but temperamental( i say she has character). I got the chance to grill them about Changi Airport(for my project) as Colin is a pilot and both of them are very vocal and intellectual..phew..I wish I had brought along a voice recorder, they said so many things and gave me a whole new perspective of the Airport. Apart from that, they were both very lovely..

After lunch, I wanted to head down to school to do some studying instead of going home,for obvious reasons... I know its not a good thing, its like escapism..but the worst thing is to escape from your own home, and home is supposed to be like a safe haven. But I just wanted to avoid seeing mom's black face, or get into another argument with her. This morning, before I left house, she had somemore scolding to do, I just kept quiet and let her say whatever she wanted. I really wonder when it would ever stop...

But unfortunately, no one was studying in school. I was already at holland V then, so decided to stay there instead of going to sch. Was feeling really despondent and lonely at the thought of spending a few hours there alone, but remembered that Brennan was 'recuperating' at home with a swollen ankle instead of in camp(tsk tsk), so called him out for a chat. I settled down in Delifrance with coffee and started studying. I was reminded of AC days when we would go there and study during exam period, and even the cleaning aunty is still the same...ahhh...feeling nostalgic. Had a great gossiping session with him. We(or rather I) laughed so loudly that I was sure we attracted alot of stares from the students studying there. And I was very well aware that the 2 girls sitting next to our table kept sniggering at us..or whatever we were saying...but sigh..who cares??? Anyway, we really do have alot of things in common, loves choc, loves desserts, likes coffee, prefer cafes,even our personality test result is almost the same. Thats prob why we can click so well and be such good frens even though we didnt even talk much in school back then. After that, he even walked me to my bus stop and waited with me though it was quite out of the way for him which was very nice of him. Ok, shall stop here in case his head swells too much and hair stands up even more than it already has...hehe..

I am so darn confused about what I really want....

Do I only go for something that is beyond reach???

Would I shunt something that is within reach??


If so.....this would not be the first time... I am a mass of contradictions

Pheww, what a tiring day. Woke up at 5 am this morning and couldnt go back to sleep. If this goes on, I am going to be like a raccoon. I already see signs of rings around my eyes, not a pleasant sight....

Had quite a interesting Sunday afternoon, went for church service with Steph in the morning before heading down to changi airport for our changing landscape project. Steph, our resident photographer was in his elements there, took so many pics, shall post it soon. Bianca and I had quite a great time interviewing the people. I was a bit apprehensive approaching people at first, not knowing their reaction, but most of them were pretty friendly and soon I was laughing along with them. The best bit was that we got to interview this British with really nice-blue eyes who looks like Brian of Westlife(i think). Ah well...but it was quite tiring and I was so tired that I dozed on the lonely MRT ride back,having to rush off for my last reunion dinner of the new year with my aunts, which was held at home this year.

Sadly, this year's reunion was not as good. Only one of my cousin turned up, the rests were all my aunties and uncles. But I was happy to see them, especially my Dayi, who dotes on me alot. Their effusive praise of me being 'very pretty' turned my cheeks red. Don't think I am THAT pretty la, but thats aunties for you....but it did feel good hearing that, quite a confidence booster...Had another tiff with mom. It was seriously over a very small matter.. Apparently one of my aunts scolded joy(mom's darling dog) while I was not at home. After they all left, mom was like, poor joy, poor joy.....I should have been contented with just rolling my eyeballs, but I had to add..serve her right, and immediately she started to go into a tirade again. I just ignored her and continued to wash the plates and just mumbled murmured retorts that I might have liked to say to her face,but decided that it would be wiser to shut-up. As usual, all the usual stuff about going back to Dad's place came out. I wish I just have the guts to leave once and for all, but I think living with Dad will pose problems of its own. So now I just have to practise self-control and also to imagine her scoldings as crows cawing. So the war goes on....

Going to bed exhausted...but a very very good day today, for reasons I shall not say, minus the cawings of cause...

Finally some peace and quiet at long last... I am at present in quite a dour mood because of my mom. Only she has the ability to evoke my temper and bring out the worst in me. Every since this morning, she has been aiming caustic remarks at me. No, scratch that, everysince my step-dad returned, we have barely been communicating and the only time she address me is when she has something to tell me off for..

As of yesterday, we were 'maidless'. This morning, having had days of lacking sleep, I was understandably bleary and slow on the uptake. She then launched into a tirade about me not knowing anything, not doing anything when in actual fact I was more than willing to help out and was all ready to wash the dishes. And she would go....when I was your age, I already....... Yes yes, I have heard all these before, I can practically memorize them by heart. Its like, hello, I am not feeling very well, instead of screaming at me, I would really appreciate her showing some care and concern which is practically non-existent these days. It seems to me that she bears deep-rooted resentment against me...just because I look like Dad and takes after him???? I know I should try to be more understaning, but how to when she isnt receptive at all...

Whyyyyy????? does she hate me so.....What have I ever done to receive such treatement.... trying hard to fight back tears...

Phew its the weekends finally, and next week is termbreak. But why do i have the feeling that it is not going to be a break at all...Its been a rocky week. Rocky as in there are alot of ups and downs, good and bad. Psych test was, as I predicted, horrible...totally sucky.. I finished the paper in half and hour.. Didnt even have to check. because i didnt even have to think, i didnt know anything at all...sigh... Sometimes I feel that I am sooo stupid...

I feel really tired, havent been sleeping well at all for the past week. Too stressed? Too troubled? Too many things on my mind? Yes to all the above...

I have soooo many things to do during the termbreak that I think I just might collapse from the sheer workload.

1. study for the psych which I never got around to doing
2.Study for socie test on fri
3.Marketing- I have been neglecting it
4. Same goes with changing landscape
5. Marketing project
6. Changing landcape project-visit changi airport
7.Driving lesson
8.Theatre studies term paper
9. Changing landscape fieldtrip

And there might be some I might have missed, knowing how absent-minded I am. Gosh...i feel like giving up already....

My mind has cleared...

Sanity has returned...

The old me has returned again, and I hope it stays

Someone likened me to a sunflower, bringing sunshine and happiness into ppl's life. Awwww how sweet. And it is not from the person who gave me sunflower, though he probably think so too...hehe..must be thickskinned abit eh, aunt agony, or rather uncle agony. And I resolve to do just that, as in bring more laughter and joy to my friends.

Funny how my mood can be tilted back again because of...... I am not going to do anything about it though... che sarà sarà, what will be will be. Though I am dead-meat, havent finished studying for my psych test tomorrow. Yes I know I have been talking about it since Tues... Yes, I am wondering what the hell I have been doing for the past few days. Shut up already and get cracking...

My mind is cleared...

Sanity has returned...

The old me has returned again, and I hope it stays

Someone likened me to a sunflower, bringing sunshine and happiness into ppl's life. Awwww how sweet. And it is not from the person who gave me sunflower, though he probably think so too...hehe..must be thickskinned abit eh, aunt agony, or rather uncle agony. And I resolve to do just that, as in bring more laughter and joy to my friends.

Funny how my mood can be tilted back again because of.... Though I am dead-meat, havent finished studying for my psych test tomorrow. Yes I know I have been talking about it since Tues... Yes, I am wondering what the hell I have been doing for the past few days. Shut up already and get cracking...

My mind is cleared...

Sanity has returned...

The old me has returned again, and I hope it stays

Someone likened me to a sunflower, bringing sunshine and happiness into ppl's life. Awwww how sweet. And it is not from the person who gave me sunflower, though he probably think so too...hehe..must be thickskinned abit eh, aunt agony, or rather uncle agony. And I resolve to do just that, as in bring more laughter and joy to my friends.

Funny how my mood can be tilted back again because of.... Though I am dead-meat, havent finished studying for my psych test tomorrow. Yes I know I have been talking about it since Tues... Yes, I am wondering what the hell I have been doing for the past few days. Shut up already and get cracking...

Today, I bumped into my old-crush at holland v, that is, my secondary sch crush. I think it was quite fated because today instead of going to the bus stop I normally go to when I go home, I walked through Holland V instead to another bus-stop because I was in a walking mood. Was limping a bit due to blisters from my new slippers and walked past the bus stop and scanned through the ppl for familiar faces when I saw him, got quite a big shock as he was the last person I expected to see. He was, as short as ever(3cm shorter than me). And he is coming to NUS arts next sem..sigh. I was glad that I totally felt nothing anymore. It was a crush which lasted 2years which only ended when I when AC and saw clover(but that is another story). He was the first guy to kiss me(on the cheek that is) because of a birthday joke on a magical night in Prague and he was one of the nicest guy I knew. Did I mention he is a commando? Ok, I am over him, end of story. But hope it wouldnt be too awkward next time as I know he knows that I liked him, as did almost all my crushes, due to my lack of discretion....

I realize my mood swings are getting more violent..as in not the bashing people up kind, but the drastic kind, like I can be very happy one moment and depression another moment,though depression doesnt last long. Don't worry, I am not suicidal or anything... Just that my brain is in a perpetual state of confusion write now. An emotion that I have not felt for a long time is seeping into my heart....Its distracting me, a lot.... And I don't know what to think, and what to do.. It was supposed to be strictly platonic...what happened??????

Oh god..after one hour of staring at my psch textbook, I am still at the same page. What am I to do? Felt the sudden urge to blog again. I was reminded of the journey to school this morning and a conversation I inadvertently heard. So there I was, sitting in my corner reading my Sophie Kinsella when a guy suddenly struck up a conversation in cantonese with this auntie sitting next to me, apparently they know each other. This guy, I am stress fits every bill of the word nerdy, and i am sorry to say..l-o-s-e-r. As I tried very hard not to eavesdrop, almost every sentence the guy spoke had the word marry in it. I gathered he was still single, on the look-out for a girl and a total despo and well advancing into middle-age hood. I tried so hard not to roll my eyes and contain my sniggers . The woman was giving him some advice about getting girls. The conversation soon turned to NUS students, girls in particular, and pretty unflattering things as well. Were they totally oblivious to my presence? I put that down to them not knowing I can understand cantonese perfectly well. One sentence that she said had the deepest impact on me, "some ppl are in NUS not to study, but to play, to socialize." That really set me thinking, what am I doing in NUS. Am I some frivolous empty-headed person who's only aim is to enjoy life, or do I truly want to get an education..... When ppl ask me, what is my ambition, whats do we I want be next time and I go, I don't know... I feel so.....aimless. And when I see people who truly have passion in things and whom I have no doubt would go all the way to achieve their dream. How I wish I have but a small portion of their zest. I think I lack that fighting spirit in me. That fighting spirit which made so many rich and famous ppl where they are right now.

What to do with myself???? hrumppp

Deep in thoughts....

Just survived another long long day in school. Its getting more bearable actually, I actually paid attention in lectures. But by 5, my cells were starting to slow down and I couldnt do anything else other then reading..my fave pastime of all times, i just finished reading the Sophie Kinsella book in one day. Was supposed to study in the library from 5-6 before meeting the rest for dinner, but the book simply beckoned, I thus succumbed to the lure and before I knew it, was glued to it for the rest of the journey home.

Dinner was hilarious, thats the only way I can describe it. Had dinner with Shiang,jul, winnie, anthony and Kel And I was really on a roll, laughed until I had stomach cramps and had tears of laughter in my eyes. I havent laughed like that in ages, it sure felt really good. Downside was I was being interrogated throughout dinner...sigh, havent anyone heard of having some privacy, not that it was some deep dark secret or anything. I am glad that the chocolate truffles and choc fudge met with everyone's approval. Made me really happy to see everyone enjoying it.

So CNY is over and vday is over...In other words, holiday is over too. I have so many things piled up waiting for me to do. Stacks of readings, psych test this fri(which I havent even touched), socie test next week, some term paper to pass up(1000+ words) and so many others. Wonder what I have been doing, been living a dream I guess...sigh. All this would have to come to a stop already. I have to buck up..soon. But I really do wish I know where I am heading for in live, some inkling of what I want to achieve. Right now, I have a psych test to study for, ss project to do, go for driving lessons, look for tuition kid(can i dun give tuition pls)..gosh I feel like I am going to be buried alive in all these. Just pray that I can get through this term without any major heartbreak.

Wow!!! What a great Vday, its the best I have had since god knows when. It was really a marvelous day. Early in the morning at 10am, just when I thought nothing special was going to happen, I got a delivery...a sunflower bouquet no less. I was so thrilled and and it so made my day. Thanks so much for sending, it was such a sweet gesture. The novelty of getting flowers for vday is...hmm...great.

Went to coffee club for lunch with mom and thereafter went to the library, and amazingly, I found all the books I wanted..sigh, seems like I am not going to be studying anytime soon. Went for some light shopping and saw a skirt that I really liked, still considering. And i bought a pair of pinky slippers from Novo as they had 20% off for all the pink shoes..what a great deal, and it was so cheap. Went grocery shopping for my baking needs and proceeded home to bake not cookies..but chocolate fudge and truffles..well not really bake as I didnt use the over. The fudge turned out very nicely and tasted kinda like creme brulee-burnt sugar taste and I rather liked the texture of it, taste like Meiji melty kiss. The truffles, on the other hand, was supposed to be rolled into the shape of a marble and then rolled in cocoa powder, but the mixture was too mousse-like to be handled, so I just had to make do with dropping into paper cups and sprinkling with the cocoa. So friends, forgive me if the shape is not very nice...but matters most is that it taste good rite?

After dinner at home, went out to Changi Village for a walk with a friend. It was a nice long ride there(he drove, thank goodness)..and we just strolled along. The path was filled with so many couples kissing..cuddling, whatever. It was really lovely and breezy and therapeutic. And lovely to see all the airoplanes..Wish I am in one right now. And for everybody's information, nothing went on....But it was nice, to have a heart to heart talk which is virtually impossible to have in our busy everyday life.

SO I go to bed happy and hope that tmr would be another great day.

I had quite a nice weekend.. Had to go back to school on sat for marketing tutorial at 9am..and I woke up at 8.15 because I had forgotten to set my alarm clock. So I woke up, in a blind panic and started rushing around my room, didnt even have time to eat breakfast and i had to take a cab to sch. Good thing its CNY and I didnt really mind spending the money because of all the angbao money. But I have to say that my tutor is such a great tutor that I was totally riveted during the entire 2hrs and didnt even feel hungry at all. As I was late(I had to enter the class in such an undignified manner as I ran all the way from central library to biz), plus I was assigned to a group of 4 males, two of whom were quite good looking..hehe. Thus I spent a very enjoyable 2 hrs, a first for tutorials and I payed full attention. Dare I say I am changing for the better? I sure hope so.. After that, went shopping at bugis with gsy and steph..Went wild man...tried on everything that I fancied, and nothing beats shopping with friends, and steph is such a great fashion consultant...After that we all went to shiang's house to bainian. It was quite fun and his parents are so hospitable, though I felt quite bad about leaving so soon.

Sunday was, as usual, a boring day. But I had an argument with Dad today. It is such a trivial matter really, don't know why he had to blow it out of proportions, really tired of the way he keeps scolding me an idiot and stupid etc. Just because we don't see eye to eye doesnt mean that he is always right. I know he is very quick and fiery tempered, so normally I just keep quiet and let him rant. But a person can only take this much, everyweek when I see him, he would do it without fail. Even though it is usually very short as he can be restored to good humour quite easily...but still...For example, we were just sitting watching TV and I said that I wanted to learn dancing(we were watching some MTV show) and he recalled a previous comment that I made about going clubbing because I like dancing and said that it was plain stupid because one doesnt go clubbing to dance...blah blah blah...and there are proper places to go to dance..and he went on and on and managed to include the S word in just about every sentence he spoke..??? And all because I said I wanted to go dancing. I was so sick and tired of his verbal abuse that I told him straight off that I didnt like arguing with him and why must he have such a big reaction over everything, everybody has different views and he should keep his to himself. I was so pissed that I ignored him on the car journey back home. Ha, and for someone who said his new year resolution would be to keep his temper in check and be nicer...Bull S**t..I guess a leopard can never change his spots. And he still pulls my ears when I do something wrong...hello, I am 20, not a little kid anymore. Still remember all the beatings I had to endure when I was young when I didnt do my homework..Argh

Why do I have such difficult parents..sigh.. i am sick and tired of everything. Though I havent quarrelled with my mom in a very long time..thats only because we havent been talking much. Since my stepdad's back, dunno why, there is always this tension. I would talk to him, and she would talk to him, but we won't talk to each other. Dón't knon whats her problem anyway. I don't know how to get through to her. And she is such a wet blanket. My stepdad wanted to bring us to longbar(at raffles hotel) after dinner on Friday and she refused to go..Why? because of the misconception that it was a club..like zouk.. And she kept calling it a sinful place.. Oh pul-lease..give me a break. Like she doesnt commit any sins. She's become so hoity-toity nowadays.

I feel so bitchy for bitching so much. But its good that i can let it all out here, after all its bad to keep so much emotions inside me. I feel so much better already.

I havent updated up blog in ages and during these period I have been eating and eating and eating..All the steamboats and reunion dinners and all the pineapple tarts,loveletters, almond cookies.....sigh.. Have to go on a major diet after the festivities are over.. So updates for the past three days...

Chinese new year's eve, had lessons until 12..well, officially until 4pm, but as we skipped changing landscapes....hmm..So Shiang, steph, gsy,jul and I went to habourfront for lunch. Went to pastamania for a hearty lunch and after that walked around before going mac's for desserts and drinks. It was very nice exploring 'new territory' so to speak, except that I was the butt of everybody's jokes...from my appetite to....well...everything la. But oh well, I am secure in myself actually..and I actually enjoy all the jokes, had such a hearty laugh and enjoyed myself very much. Went to Dad's place for reunion dinner and had steamboat dinner with my only grandma and 2 aunties. Grandma is 70 this year and I hope she lives healthily for many years to come and she is such a sweet and obliging old lady.

Chinese New year, I went with my two aunties to the various relative's house to 'bainian' as I had been MIA for years, pleading off with excuses that I had to study. Lazy dad stayed at home. It was pretty boring, as it was all the old folks and adults talk, all I could do was watch the televsion prpgrammes and I could not even read my books as it was not very polite to do so. Oh and I received my first love proposal, from a 5 year old kid no less...but I am no craddle robber. The kid was super hyperactive and kept dragging me around. And he would tell me he had something to tell me and pulled me down and planted a kiss on my cheeks and said he 'loved' me..Yikes....Fancy that coming from such a young kid...what is the world coming to.

I came home only tonight and finally got to wish my Mom and my stepdad happy new year. Finally got a chance to sit down and have a breather.. Have to catch up on my school work soon...I have been procrastinating for so long..sigh...

Looking forward to having reunion dinner with my relatives from my mom's side though.. I get along much better with them..not to mention all my doting aunts..my numerous cousins and my nieces and newphews.. Anyway, wish all who visit my blog a happy new year,' xue ye jin bu', ' shen ti jian kang', 'cai yun gun gun'...and errr...thats it..

Been feeling so bored this few days...lazy...simply love lazing around despite the rapidly piling up workload...which I will tackle some day...soon, I hope..

Went shopping with Jul,win,gsy and issy on saturday. We went to far east plaza where I was keeping an eye out for a new skirt. No such luck though, the skirts were either too short(everytime i see a short skirt that I like,I think of mom), too flowery, too long...or simply just not me. I never knew it was that hard shopping for a single item, I never had this problem when shopping at esprit, cos I want to buy everything they have...haha..but than again, there is this teeny-weensy problem of price tags. I felt the things at far east were quite ah-lianish. At least I got a white belt which I have been hankering after for a very long time, and it was quite cheap too. Yes, so a white belt is all I got after almost 4 hours of shopping.

After that, I went to Bugis for dinner and movie with dad. I dragged him off to Terra for dinner as I always walked past, smelled the aroma, but never got to try the food. The chocolate milkshake was watery and not sweet at all, bet they forgot to add a scoop of ice-cream into it or something. But the pizza was awesome, thin crust filled very generously with extremely chewy cheese and topped with lots of stuff..like salami, ham....We watched Hotel Rwanda which was rated 5 stars. And it is definitely deserves every of the 5 stars it got. I was riverted to the screen throughout the whole movie. And it is really a powerful and moving movie which portrayed the genocide and the prejudice of the people so well. I thought that it is such a sad thing that people want to destroy one another just because they are of different races and the sad thing is, all the killings are still going on, even right now. Something is so true from the movie, we hear over the news of the people killed, and we say..oh..how sad..and then we go back to our dinner, there isnt anything we can do about it..or maybe its because most of the time, ppl just cant be bothered.

So I am feeling top of the world again, I was reallie down in the dumps yesterday...decided not to blog as I didnt want to make my blog so sad..i want to fill it with happy things..I attribute it once again to pms, but I do know better..Anyway everything is alright now, its strange how my mood can swing so drastically. Seems like I am quite an insecure person and needs constant assurance. At least I know I have many dear friends near me whom I can always count on..

Listening to phantom of the opera( the original soundtrack), sarah brightman's vocie is so lovely and crystal clear that I just cant do anything else but listen...such beautiful music.....So it goes without saying that I am still at the same page of my open textbook....sigh

I am bored bored bored...My textbook is open in front of me, but my mind is elsewhere...far far away. Whyyyy, cant I be good and study. How can I make myself study...Sigh...I feel like eating, but there is nothing to eat, no chocolates, no sweets, no fruits, I can only make milo to satisfy my sweet tooth, and even that is not enough. Maybe its that time of the month, maybe I just need some endorphins..or maybe its just a whole load of excuses. SIgh...but speaking of endorphins, I really really need to go to the gym, I can feel my muscles, all my hard trained muscles 'loosening' even as I type. I have always had an issue with my body size. Some days I can just wear my nicest clothes and walk about with all the confidence of a person who knows she looks good. Some days(most of the days), I keep pinching my fats and wishing it would just dissolve. No matter how much I exercise, its still there. I know, I am not fat, ppl keep telling me that but I just wish I have that va-va-voom figure. but I love eating too much to ever achieve that. All the whatever Shape magazine, Cleo, Female articles about losing weight would say that its a combination of exercise and diet..Now tell me, how am I going to survive on like salad for lunch...I would faint, I think...

Ah well, today was a good day. TS prac wasnt as nerve-wrecking as usual, passed quite smoothly. Straight after that was childhood and youth tut...the tutor was nice but crappy, which is good, and at least makes things more interesting. Went to coffee club xpress after that with derek,jul,issy,shiang,gsy,win to chill out. Had my much missed cheezy mushroom pie and crunchy freeze(my lunch kk) before heading to biz to do subject pool thingy which was super boring and I almost fell asleep in the midst of it. Was walking towards the deck when I realized I had left something behind and had to make everyone go back with me to take it. Sooooo sweet of them, I was quite touched,esp as Shiang had difficulty walking and was limping about.

So tmr is my free day and I hope something good comes out of it and I will not spend the day slacking or whatsoever...Remind myself about my new-year resolution...Gosh..that seems so long back...what new year resolution???????