Haiz..another wasted day.. I practically spent the night time doing nothing. At least the afternoon spent in the library wasnt too bad as just seeing everyone mugging frantically made me do the same as well. I feel so terrible....the horror of last semester is going to manifest itself again this semester, I cant just forsee another low capscore coming. Yeah yeah, capscores are not important, easy enough to say when you are not the one getting it. I can just imagine another lect from dad, see the disappointment on his face..see my own disappointment while I brush it aside as if its nothing important while it actually matters alot to me. Seeing everyone do so well.. makes me feel so stupid. I need someone to push me along, to motivate me, to give me strength when I am down. I feel so alone, fighting my own battle, against myself.

I am too bloody emotional for my own good...