The fat girl's guide to life? A book by Wendy Shankar

Fat, the forbidden word that all girls dread. I have been conscious of it for as long as I remember, and being not a small eater, and being mindful of keeping my figure, I have always been a regular gym-goer. And by regular, I mean twice a week, around 50mins per session. Being surrounded by small sized, petite girls who are small eaters have made me especially self-conscious. I try not to compare, and also console myself that I am justified by my taller than average height. Most of the time, I am pretty confident. There is nothing wrong with a little fat around the tummy, it can even be a little sexy, think Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City(which i am addicted to), her figure is just fabulous, and that barely there, but still noticeable tummy fat just makes her more human.

So like I said, I am fairly confident most of the time, I like to think of myself as being a full-figured woman(read big butt and hips) ;) Do guys really want stick thin girls with no figure whatsoever. However, this confidence was shattered when Hp and mum said I was fat. Well, fatter than last time anyway, bigger around the hips. Its not surprising after all, since steph and I err, like to indulge ourselves. Oh, but the unfairness of it all, I go gym every week, and other girls don't(not the ones I know anyway). Why, despite so many years of battling with it, am I still battling with the fat monster?

Why should I care what other people think as long as I know I look good. Do I really have to conform to society's idea of beauty which is to be thin to be happy? And I kid you not, look at all the models in magazines, looks at all the slimming ads out there, all the anorexic looking celebrities, sending such a clear message to people, that thin is in(fat is out). Leading to a rise in eating disorders cos people are under such pressures to look good.

I have been trying, really.. making sandwiches to school, self-fried omelette with ham, cheese and romaine lettuce. And I do enjoy eating them too, and it sure beats queing up for food at the deck. One week into this sandwich eating regime, I think to myself, I really shouldnt listen to what other people say. Ultimately, its my own body and I should love it. Life is so short, I should eat whatever I want and not spend my whole life hankering after a body shape that I can never achieve. I am built like that, and that is that. And the guy who loves me should love me for who I am, not how I look like. Its a harsh world out there though, where people judge each other first and foremost by appearance. So I am not saying i will just let myself go..hahah..no matter what I say, I will always still want to look good.

So as I am writing this, almost defiantly, I am eating tim-tams too, a long forgotten indulgence. Ahhh, all the chocolate melting in the mouth in a blissful symphony. This is daaa life!!! So who needs fat girl's guide to life? My own most important rule: love thyself

ps: I shall start wearing more mini-skirts..heh, my legs are my one and only asset