School has started, and today was the second day of school for me. I still feel like I am in a holiday mode, still in the transition mode to study, not quite there yet...soon.. Looking at all the projects and essays I have to do, it just makes me feel so tired of uni life. Its the very feeling of uncertainty, knowing that everything would just escalate until exam time. This feeling of jadednes is not good, cos this is the period I am supposed to enjoy. Jadedness will come later on in life, when we go out to society to work.

And today during dinner, mum suddenly brought up the topic of going abroad to do a master's degree or smth, and she was pretty insistent about it. Of course, anyone would be thrilled to go overseas, especially England, but I am not sure I want to. I have too many strings tied here, and I know for sure I would be a changed person when I come back, and I am not too sure I want that to happen. And would I be studying just for studying's sake or would I really enjoy it. Is it really that important to get a Masters anyway when I am struggling to do my basic degree. There are people who know what they want in life and go straight for it. And there are people who are shaped by things around them and let circumstances decide their route. I guess I belong in that second camp of people, but I know for sure I would find it very very hard to let go of the things I treasure here. I think that it has always been mum's dream for me to study overseas, in her words, better equip me in life. I think that she has dreams too, which she cant fulfill, and she wants to life her dreams off me. And I also know that my dad would definitely NOT approve of me going overseas to study. He has told me time and again that he would provide me with my fishing line(BA), and the rest would be up to me. And once again, my parents have widely differing opinions and I am in the middle of it all, not knowing where to stand..

Enough about that, nothing has been confirmed as yet. Back to uni life, I feel that I am less motivated than last sem, and the thought of a busy sem ahead just fills me with dread. I feel like I havent gotten enough rest and fun during the holidays and no wonder, I was stressed out at work everday..hahah..and even now, we still have things to do for the company. I wish I can get out of it, but sometimes there are responsibilites that cant be shrugged off so easily and since we did agree to do it, I guess we must follow through with it. But I think we are being exploited, working without getting paid..sigh..maybe I should be more thickskinned and ask. But sometimes, money is really secondary. I agreed to take up the job purely because I thought it would be a good exposure for me..other than boring old data entry.

I hope I can get my zest and motivation back. Soon.

At least these two days have been very pleasant days..very very pleasant days with MB indeed.. =) nice weather for snuggling