Me and Izzy in the office-Christmas Party 

Oatmeal raisin cookies, cheesecake and melted chocolate with butter for brownies. A night for multitasking 

My marbled cheesecake..doesnt it look delicious? 

So for the past two days, I was still down with flu(I think), minus the running nose. Felt terribly tired and dizzy-ish, but still had to go for work. Met up with Cecilia yesterday, with charlotte in tow at Great World City. She was being terribly mischevious again, jumping around all over the place and running everywhere. But she is sooo cute that you just have to forgive her. We had a lovely dinner at Ichiban Boshi, where I got to choose my favourite sushis from the conveyor belt. We proceeded to Zara where there was a sale going on. It was like a mad house in there, which totally turned me off shopping. And besides, the stuff were still pretty ex even after discounts. Charlotte chose that moment to 'poo'..hahah..so a hassled Cecilia had to rush off to the toilet to change her diapers. Poor thing, she looked so stressed out. Having to look after a child isnt easy at all, its a 24/7 job. After that little incident, we went back to shopping for Charlotte's new yr clothes. We parted quite early because I was feeling quite worn out already, after a long day. Charlotte gave me a big wet kiss and a 'I love you'...awwww..soooo sweet. I am glad I am an Aunty without having the responsibilities of a mother.

This morning, I came in to work all groggy and head whirling and all, thankfully it was a half day. I realize that I cant do without my morning cuppa cos my brain was totally not functioning at all and I was stoning at my computer for one hour before I decided to go buy. That particular teh tarik is the best, I would really miss it when I leave next week. And also the almond paste and mango sago at dessert hut. Izzy and I met Kelvin for lunch at China Sq, followed by dessert at dessert hut, though he didnt join us for that. We managed to get the last two mango sago of the day..heh..lucky us. And the waiter could recognize us cos we came by almost everyday.

I met Yumin for dinner at Holland V where we went to Essential brews. I love the ambience of the place. There are two levels, and the level upstairs doesnt have proper chairs, but instead cushions to seat on, japanese style. Note to self: Wear pants the next time. It was so difficult to seat properly wearing skirt and I could barely walk when we finally left. I was very satisfied with the food. We ordered a tea shake each, temptation island(which is green tea milkshake with a scope of vanilla icecream) and a Vanilla Obsession(earl grey tea milkshake and vanilla icecream). Both were very delicious and refreshing. We also orderd a earl grey sirloin beef steak for sharing and a focaccia with mushroom and cheese..which were yummy, though we couldnt really taste the earl grey flavour in the beef, it was tender and juicy. We had a great time chatting and chilling out. Though the bill came up to quite a hefty sum, but yumin had a discount voucher for it, so it wasnt too bad. After walking around for a bit, I headed home quite early for a much needed rest and private time.

Sometimes I do wonder...what am I actually good for? Its a rhetorical question which I don't even have the answer for...

Anyway, on a lighter note, I feel heavy..I havnt gone to the gym in ages, well, at least not as religiously as I used to-at least twice a week. Its so much harder to wake up early nowadays. Oh man, one of my new yr resolutions is to stop eating so much,starting from next yr. So now I am trying to compensate. Bad idea! Next yr would see a fitter me(hopefully).

And I have been coughing and sniffling and sneezing in the office, dry hacking cough, and feeling terribly sleepy..but work still goes on. Its definitely not easy meeting the quota, it means no slacking..sigh. I have been feeling sickish since yesterday, I guess the gluttony over christmas got to me.. The system was down early in the morning, that means we were unable to do work, so Izzy and I went for a morning stroll and hunt for food. I was being particular conscious of my diet today, so I only bought some herbal almond tea.

For lunch, for the first time since I started working, I had a proper meal of porridge cos I was craving for something nice and warm. But that didnt really sustain me for long, by 4pm, I was raiding the fridge for food again. I found some of my leftover cookies, and some chocolates, and also pork floss sticks and jackfruit chips from Sang Chin

And today, we experienced what you would call office politics, two females conversing over msn, referring to us as that two temp girls in very disparaging tones. One of them, has never been very friendly towards us, perpetually having a black face, and I have always steered clear of her. However, the other has always been very nice and friendly, and I would never have thought she would bad mouth us behind our backs, these goes to show looks can be very deceiving, and the nicer they look, the worst their bite, and they are also what I would call two headed snake. Very dangerous, and I do have a tendency to be quite naive about people. I guess their dislike could stem from the fact that we are on very friendly terms with the boss, especially Izzy, since she they go a long way back, and he is also particularly nice towards us, and always bantering with us. Female bitchiness...urghh. Oh well, I would be out of here in another 8 days, and honestly, I really cant give a damn what they say about us. Its the boss we wanna please after all, not them. And we have already tried out best to be nice, and if they don't like us, I couldnt give a damn.

I am so so so tired of working already..why is it that this holiday is so freaking boring. And the stress of cors bidding is upon me again. I havent planned my timetable yet, and I am so worried I cant get the modules I want, cos I am doing 6 mods next sem, and I have to be careful about what I bid for..strategic planning, I call it. Tough

Its been a great Christmas weekend, had a good rest, and also some lovely times with my family and friends. On Christmas eve, mum cooked Prawn Aglio Olio for lunch, salad, cream of chicken soup, and my cheesecake for lunch..The Aglio Olio was rather dry as compared to the ones outside, which I think they add tons of oil, but it was pretty yummy. In the evening, there was a cg gathering where we had dinner of fried beehoon, curry and fried chicken, courtesy of Steph's mum, and also jelly. There was so much leftover food and drinks that we had to play 'zong ji mi ma' to finish the food, thus resulting in everyone being full to the brim, and steph having stomach ache the next day...

On Christmas day, after a great church service at the Indoor Stadium, I went back to Dad's place. He was quite thrilled with my present of Godiva Chocolate and brownies, and I in turn got a lovely purple cross from him, so very unexpected. And I got a necklace from aunt aubrey as well..We stayed at home until evening, where we went all the way to expo to watch a magic show by FCBC with Aunt Aubrey and her family. It was pretty alright la, though I wasnt very impressed with the magic tricks. If you have seen one, you have seen all, especially if its David Copperfield.

On Boxing Day, after a lovely breakfast of tim sum at Tak Po with dad and aunt aubrey at Chinatown, I went off to meet steph who was leaving for Bangkok with the cg that evening. I rather regretted not being able to go along, but I guess I am too committed to work. So I went all the way to Changi Airport with him to send him off, and also to eat at Popeye's, my favourite buttermilk biscuits and fried chicken. My christmas present for him was a mini beanie handphone holder, and also some cheesecake and lots of cookies. Meanie beanie=mini beanie...get it? hahah, he was sooo touched by it cos it is something symbolic between us..and my christmas present from him is Miami Glow...hahah..strike another off my wishlist, and another bottle to add to my collection of perfumes. That tut actually put the perfume in a chocolate box, and I was exclaiming over how delicious it looked and opened it up to discover something else inside, but I was pretty thrilled...hahah..and there is also a private joke about that..

The journey home alone was pretty boring..and I spent the rest of the night slacking..and today, work was back to normal..Izzy and I shared the Portobello Mushroom burger from Carl's Junior today,at the price of $8 per burger, its bloody expensive, but its also very yummy, way better than the mushroom swiss king at BK, but duhhh. The way to eating it and not getting fat is to share it, cos each burger contains about a whopping 800 calories and more than 30g of fat. I also bought teh tarik..what would I do without teh tarik at work, it keeps me warm and awake..hahah..7 more days of work left before school starts..and for once, I cant say I am looking forward to that...sigh

Its been a super long day..but filled with fun and enjoyment. Yesterday after work, I got downto baking again. I decided the brownies from the previous day didnt meet my expectations, thus I made another one using another recipe. I was super afraid I would overbake or underbake it, this I watched over it constantly. The results were superb, the kind of brownie I love most. Fudgy, chewy, gooey with a thick and crunchy top. It was delicious, albeit ugly cos I couldnt cut it properly as it was too soft. And I baked my cookies as well and sealed it in small bags to be given out. And I also had to wrap some presents, so by the time I was done, I was super tired..

This morn, work went on as usual until 11am, when the preparation for the party began, though the guests only arrived at around 12. We blew balloons that had funny shape, and some people's imagination started running wild..hmm.. Then we had to go downstairs to bring up the catered food, and arrange it on the tables. There was quite a spread of food. Curry, baguette, springroll, otah, satay, Chen Fu Ji Fried rice, chicken wings, and of course turkey and roast beef. The brownies that I contributed was there as well, and was gone by the end of the party. I took out the marbled cheesecake last of all, and everybody raved about it, commenting that it was the best cheesecake they had ever tasted and that I should set my own bakery..hahah..my head swelled a few notches after that...hahah.. I was sooo happy that it turned out well, despite it being my 2nd attempt

The party was pretty fun and we went around taking pictures, which I would post later on. Then we had the gift exchange which was only for the staff. Everyone gathered around a table which had the presents on it and we were supposed to pick out a number. As I was the youngest, I got to go first..and I got a super kinky present from Sang Chin..hahh..which I didnt really expect of him. It was put in a tissue paper box, then stuffed with newspaper, and wrapped in a few layers of plastic bag. So much anticipation. Everybody held their breadth as I drew it out, and lo and behold, it was a red g-string..and not only that, it had 2 bells attached to it. Everybody was quite tickled by it, and my boss had quite a few things to share about ermm wearing it and turning men on...muahaha..guess everyone is pretty open minded around here, and he warned me against wearing it in the office..hahah..for obvious reasons. I got a really adorable lil doggy from Izzy which we had admired together during our lunch break shopping trip, and a lovely necklace.

By the time the party ended, it was around 3 plus, and Wilson offered to drive me and Izzy to Orchard. It was very nice of him as that area is jammed, and we were stuck there for pretty long. Actually I only went orchard to go to the lib..hahah..I wanted to get some presents, but changed my mind after seeing the long queues..I rushed home, bathed, and went out again, with Steph and his friends to catch The Chronicles of Narnia, which is a really awesome movie. After that was dinner at Zion Riverside Foodcentre which is actually my first time there despite it being practically just at my doorstep, and had a yummy fried hokkien mee.

Feeling super tired now, its been a long week..looking forward to christmas, which would be filled with activities... I doubt I would be blogging for the next 2 nights, so here is wishing everybody a blessed and joyful Christmas.

Phew..I feel so tired now, can finally rest a little. After a full day at work, I had to squeeze through the throngs of people at Orchard to buy some chocolates for gift exchange at my office, not just any chocolates, but Godiva chocolates. I also got some for dad too, cos he hinted not so subtly that he would love to try it. Then I had to rush to cold storage to buy ingredients for my baking, and carrying loads of heavy stuff, rushed home for dinner, and then started my baking marathorn.

Why marathorn, cos I was being ambitous. As I was supposed to bake for my office party on fri, and I also wanted to bake cookies as mass christmas present, I didnt want to leave everything till tmr, thus I decided to do as much as I could today. Sorry to brennan that I cant erm impart some of my skills as promised, but being so stressed today, and being such a perfectionist, I am sure I wouldnt have been a good teacher. Now I know why most chefs are grumpy and bad tempered..hahah..

What with endless measurements of ingredients, having to juggle a few things at one time, mum giving me the black face for turning her kitchen upside down..my nerves were quite frazzled..But the very first item that I baked turned out well..I tried baking marbled cheesecake for the first time in ages, I think its only my 2nd or 3rd attempt..and it was awesome..hahah..not that I tried it, cos it is supposed to be refrigerated overnight. But it marbled nicely and the top of the cheesecake didnt crack, and it was firm to the touch...I was so proud of myself that i was fill of self-praise..muahaah...the second item was oatmean raisin cookies. And I finally managed to achieve a nicely shaped and soft and chewy cookie, that I couldnt stop eating it...sigh..but that one is more for personal consumption cos most people don't like the chewy kind. But it really was awesome,with just a hint of cinnamon and choke full of raisins..

The last and definitely the lousiest was brownie. I used the same recipe as the previous time, and the baking time was about the same too, but yet it turned out overbaked it. The previous time it was way too underbaked, so much so that it couldnt stand by itself and this time its overbaked..sigh..so hard to get the timing right. I am quite fussy about my brownie, it must be fudgy instead of cakey...sigh..think I would bake another one tmr, this kind of standard how to let people eat, especially strangers where it is important to make good impression..heh. never know when I would get a paying customer eh. Maybe I would start a online baker thingy on my blog..still toying with the idea..

Anyway I can finally rest a little. I also made the dough for my standard choc chip cookie, but didnt bake it today due to lack of time, so I wrapped the dough and refrigerated it so that I can bake it tmr without all the hassle. Phew, the hard part is done. I still havent gotten most of my christmas presents though. But come to think of it, I refuse to buy something just for the sake of giving it, if its not useful or relevant..giving can be done anything, why must it only be during christmas?

Thank you for not letting go, thank you for pulling me up to safety. I am so glad that I hung on and never let go, cos for you, it was worth the wait. I just hope that we can both hold on tightly and never ever let go...

I went to watch Perhaps love today. It was really a beautiful love story, that made me keep dropping tears throughout cos it reminded me so much of my own.

Sometimes I do feel like I am holding on to a rope, suspended maybe 10meters off the ground. It is not a long distance, but if I fall, its enough to cause lots of pain, and maybe a broken bone or two. I am holding on tightly for my dear life, getting tired with every passing time, getting weary, hoping against hope that I would be pulled up to safety. I know that if I just let go, I can just grit my teeth, endure the pain and move on, and the pain would eventually go, no matter how deep it is. After all, hanging there forever is not the solution. But yet I am scared to let go, scared of the pain it would cause. A few times, just when I thought maybe help was on the way, I get pulled up a little higher, but still left hanging there. I am left feeling disappointed again. Feeling disgusted with myself for being such a coward, but yet still grabbing on, feeling myself slipping further and further(newton's 3rd law+slippery hands). Inner turmoil within me, being suspended on the rope would bring me nowwhere, life is at a standstill. The only solution is to let go, break some bones, find some doctors to heal my wounds,move on with life. But yet, I am still holding out hope, for my would-be rescuer. Hoping and hoping, how long would I hope and wait? I know the longer I hang, the higher I go, the weaker I get, the harder I would fall, but I just can't stop clinging to that last bit of hope. Maybe it'd be better for u to yank the rope off if you don't intend to save me, since I apparently can't make up my mind...It is less cruel this way..

I had no lunch kakhi for lunch today cos Izzy had something on and did not come for work. Thus I walked to China Square for lunch again. This time, I decided to explore further, and came upon Ya kun, and had a nice buttery kaya toast. After that, I explored further and came across Don-your personal pie club, selling pies, kueh lapis, and cakes. A chocolate cheesecake,at the price of $2.50 and I happily bought it...and it was pretty yummy...I am really happy to be working here, discovering new eats everyday..hahah..there is really everything, ubiquitous cafes...think I would balloon by the time I stop working here...haha..seriously, how not to, now that I don't have the discipline to wake up in the morning to go gym, and I am sitting down so much, and eating so much too..

After work, I walked to Raffles City to meet brennan to celebrate his birthday which was yesterday. We went to Cafe Cartel again, and walked right in before waiting to be sitted..hahah..very kiasu singaporean i know, but oh well. What to do when everyone else is standing there, not being served? He had the St louis pork ribs while I tried the fish and chips, didnt feel very hungry cos before that I was eating popcorns(again)..hahah..but at the price of $1.50, its really the cheapest and one of the nicer popcorns around, sold at Cafe Noel at Raffles City. Brennan eats super slowly man, for a guy..hahah..his ribs came way before my fish, and yet I finished eating faster than him. And he has the cheek to say that he is ahem civilised, meaning I am not. And he kept 'suaning' me throughout dinner too, some friend...hahah. I chose a bittersweet chocolate fudge cake for dessert. At first bite, it tasted really normal, like any other ordinary chocolate sponge cake. But the more I ate, the more I liked it, cos the chocolate fudge more than made up for the ordinariness of the cake, and its not sweet at all,and very fudgy. The cake was actually made up of two layers of chocolate sponge cake, with layers of thick bittersweet fudge in between,really sensational..

This week actually just flew past..and surprisingly, I do enjoy work though I feel so drained everyday after work. And though I am paid lesser and I am working harder than I used to. Still, I am not complaining. And I actually feel guilty when I slack, so I would make up for it by working harder..

Going to enjoy my weekend to the fullest...wheee..going sentosa tmr...

I woke up late today..cos I had forgotten to set my alarm, and blissfully slept until 8.25, a much needed sleep. I was out of the house in less than 15mins,hoping that I would catch the bus. No such luck though, the bus left when I was crossing the road, and I couldnt dash across because of all the cars zooming towards me, though I was very tempted to. So I was late for work..

During lunch, I dragged Izzy to china square to satisfy my craving for sesame cream again, one of these days, I am really going to get sick of it...hahah..then we went shopping around the area, and she bought some stuff, though I resisted the impulse....

Work was pretty good today, think I am picking up speed, though I still do not know if I have hit the quota cos I stopped counting, but I know I have been hard at work..pretty hard la, apart from disturbing my next door neighbour Izzy..so funny, we chat on msn though we are sitting next to each other.

Its been exactly two weeks since.....and I dare say life has become regained a semblance of normality again. It feels surreal, that we are chatting on msn, seeing each other, as if nothing has happened. What happened(before I go mad explaining to everybody) is that we have decided to cool off and remain as friends because the timing is not right. Well actually it is alot more abstract than that, but I don't feel like going into details. It was an extremely difficult step for both of us, but I truly believe that it is for the best. It is not easy to give up things that you hold on tightly too, but what is to be will be, there is no knowing what the future would hold. Go with the flow, I say. No use looking back ,always look forward in life, and only look back with fondness.

Saying that, I wonder when things would truly become normal, when my heart don't leap at the sight of him, when my skin doesnt tingle with even the slightest contact,when I can stop missing him. When my heart would stop aching so much. Perhaps it takes time. Time would heal all wounds...

So here's a little more update on what happened yesterday. I went for dinner with Ken, Izzy, owen and wilson. Actually I wanted to go home after work, but Boss invite me for dinner, how can I refuse right? And I figured that dinner won't take that long anyway. Ken is the boss by the way, constantly teased about his age(44), but always maintains that he is young and good-looking. What can I say man? Boss is always right..hahah. So Ken drove me to town in his Lexus where I met Izzy, Owen and Wilson at Cineleisure. Owen has a reputation as a ladies' guy and is supposedly commitment phobic. But I still don't think he is that good looking..but oh well, I hear stories in office about how girls throw themselves at him...

We had dinner at PastaMania where we all had a pasta each, plus 2 pizzas to share. Dinner was filled with lots of dirty jokes and laughter. Tales about Owen and his notorious reputation, Wilson being gay...Actually I felt pretty out of place, what with 3 wordly men, but I soon got used to it, esp with Izzy around. After dinner, we went to Starbucks for coffee where there was more jokes, more talk, and more conspiracy between the 3 guys, though luckily, I didnt think it involved me..heh. I went home soon after that, being instructed by mom to go home early. Oh well, it was certainly 'educational' in a way, and I did enjoy myself.

Today, work went on as usual. Though by the end of the day, I was so tired out at looking at endless resumes...and there is nothing to look forward to after work, so boring..unlike last week where I was out almost every night..

I need to do my christmas shopping soon..

I am so so so tired today. I think the stress of work is starting, I didnt feel it so much because I was sort of slacking. I started on my real work today, before that was just doing some calling, so it was pretty easy. Basically my job is to look through resumes, extract the important information, and key it into a database. Sounds easy right? I thought so initially, and it was a good opportunity to learn from good and bad resumes. However, there is a quota to be met, which is 60 a day, doesnt sound like alot, but that means that I have to complete one in 10mins. So far, I have had difficulty meeting the quota, i only did 30 today, and felt so guilty. Cos initially, I took quite long, reading through everything, and especially for long and wordy ones), it was super hard, and very very tiring. Imagine staring at the computer screen for a few hours, rushing through different resumes, brain actively working, fingers moving. It required lots of concentration cos I really wanted to do a good job. So by the end of the day, I was so super drained. Hopefully with time(by tmr), I would get more adept at skimming through and extracting important date. And I still love my job..hahah..for once..

I miss my lunch kakhi izzy too..hahah..hope she comes back soon. Though today I had a pretty fun time exploring raffles place. Went to The Arcade and got myself a yummy peanut pancake and explored the shops there. I like seeing well-dressed ppl around(read high flyers), and I tell myself, maybe..just maybe, one day I would be like them too. After that I got myself my daily cuppa of almond teh tarik from China Square and went back to work. And when I am hard at work, the time just zooms past, its amazing. And just yesterday I was lamenting that time passed too slowly for my liking, yet today, I was wishing I had more time.

Actually I still have lots of things to blog about, but I think I am going to bed already...sooo tired..

It was raining cats and dogs early in the morning, just as I was rushing to work. Bad luck, but thats not the worst of it all. As I stepped on the highly polished and incidentally wet marble floor at the lobby of my office building, I slipped and came crashing down right on my tush, in full view of all the working people...oh gosh, I could feel my face flaming in shame. I laid there, stunned for a moment, the excruciating pain making me unable to move. Thank goodness, a very nice twinkly eyed caucasian guy extended his hand to me and helped me to my feet. As I thanked him and walked away, I felt the impact of the fall on my butt as well as my arms ....sigh..what a thing to happen, great way to start the day

I went clubbing at Zouk tonight, after an absense of about a year. It felt good initially, the sense of anticipation. It took me all of 10mins to get ready, and another 5mins to take my time to stroll leisurely there, and reached around 10.45. The scene that greated me was a mass of people or queuing up to get in. It was fun to check out cute guys, look out for familiar faces and everything...

By the time we got in, put out bags, bought the drinks and got ready to dance, it was around 11.45, and the dance floor started to get very crowded indeed. Me and cindy and brennan just found a spot and started dancing, and it sure felt good to dance without caring if anybody else thought it was sucky, and just gyrate along to the beat of the music. Cindy and I had a wild time dancing with each other, ppl probably thought we were les...muahaha. After that,we decided to abandon brennan to go Phuture, which was if possible, even more crowded, so much so that we could barely squeeze through the crowd to find an empty dance spot. Even though I loved the
music and there were more cute guys around, and we also bumped into some AC ppl whom we recognized. What I found super irritating was the fact that people were constantly moving about and you can't really dance there, but 'squirm' about, and I quite being pushed about, bombarded left right front back. We finally left around 2 as I was super tired of 'non' dancing,and also actually rather tired after dancing nonstop for about 3hrs, and also because I was super disgusted that there was this guy near me who perspired so much that it actually flew all over...yucks yucks yucks. It was hard trying to keep a distance, and in the end I just gave up and left.

And guess what, when we came out, it was pouring heavily. We had no choice but to run in the rain to the taxi stand, and I got all wet in the process..

It was quite fun la, after missing in action for so long, but I guess despite everything, I don't think I would go again anytime soon, probably once more before sch reopens or smth. Now, I am blogging cos I am waiting for my hair to dry, and I still have to work tmr, oh well, at least work is not that bad, and the office ppl are very nice. I shall elaborate more tmr..ciaos

ps: pardon me for any grammatical errors or whatever mistakes and also the rather inchorent ramblings..guess I am super 'seh' now...

Tomorrow marks the end of my holidays. Well, sort of, since I would be starting work tomorrow. Its a desk bound job which is sort of like data entry. I have mixed feelings about it. One part of me would just like to slack at home and go out with friends. The sensible part of me says that its a good way to earn money, meet people and also make myself useful since I have nothing else to do anyway. I am sort of looking forward to the socializing part...heheh

So I have spent the last two days making enjoying myself, since once I start work, I will have precious little time to go out with friends. I went shopping yesterday and today..heh..purchases? Not much,hahah..just one lovely esprit green capris which cost quite a bomb, oh well, I figured I deserved a reward, and there is nothing like retail therapy to perk one up.

On monday, I met up with yumin and cindy for lunch at Miss Clarity Cafe again, a cheap and good eat. The valrona hazelnut cake was sooooo good, with a lovely crunchy praline base topped with smooth truffle...after lunch, we just walked around Bugis, and Jules joined us..and it was quite a nice bonding session.

Today was a reeally lovely day. I met up with Derek at food republic for lunch and I had the hokkien mee again, and this time I took the picture..heheh..doesnt it look totally delectable and moist and yummy, and he was so generous with the prawns today, though I don't really like to eat prawns, shelling and all. After that we went to Orchard lib to slack for a bit before he headed off for his chalet and I headed off to buy my capris(which I had been eyeing and thinking about since mon,so it wasnt an impulse buy). And thereafter met cousin Cecilia and charlotte.

We had coffee at Bakerzin where we had a good time chatting and catching up on each other's life. After that, we just shopped around orchard. My niece charlotte is such a bundle of joy, sooo cute, but yet quite a handful with the tendency to throw tantrums, but yet can be the sweetest of all toddlers... I am smitten by her...hahh..When we were at tangs, she actually dragged me up and down the stairs and threatened to cry when I wanted to carry her off somewhere. And I had to chase after her to make sure she didnt break any things. But it was lovely holding her hands walking about and hugging her...having the fun and without the heavy responsibilities that come with being a mother. And she is such a cherub, with big eyes and rosy cheeks.

After walking around for about 3hrs, we finally stopped by Island Cafe at Tangs for dinner. I had been hearing lots of good things about it, and was happy to be able to try it. Its a lovely place tucked away in a corner at the 4th level. They serve mainly local cuisine,though they also have yummilicious looking cakes on display. After much dithering, I decided on the black pepper crab tunghoon, which looked interesting. And it definitely did not disappoint. It came, wafting out aroma of the promise to come. It was delicious,very flavourful, and topped with soft shell crab, and a tangible peppery taste.

What a totally lovely day, I even got a early christmas present from Cecilia- a Milk Frother..haahh...now I can make real cafe latte and hot chocolate at home...and make it as frothy as I like...wheee...

Have to go sleep now...have to wake up early for work tomorrow...oh nooooo..

Here is a shout-out to all my concerned friends who have been asking after me, with special thanks to Jules, Izzy, Derek and Brennan, for being there when I was at my lowest, for offering words of comfort and so much more. So blessed to know I have such friends .I am back...hahah..after a few days of grieving and thinking and reflection. A little wiser, a little older, a little sadder, but nontheless still up and bouncing, with a positive outlook in life. We can't always have ups and no downs right, that would make life so boring and make us complacent. Its only when bad things happen when you start to appreciate what you have in your life. I won't pretend I wasn't affected by what happened, but for me, life still goes on.

I learnt what wonderful friends I have. I learnt what wonderful parents I have too. I called Dad up at night, and didnt say a single word, but started crying over the phone, and he was so concerned and worried for me that he wanted to come look for me right then. Then on saturday night, he made me a vanilla vodka with tonic water(how cool is he), and just let me pour out my sorrows and listened and offered constructive advice and also his shoulders to cry on. I wouldnt say the same for mum, but she stopped what she was going to scold me about upon seeing my swollen eyes, but I didnt tell her the full story cos she already had her own views and comments and I knew whatever I said wouldn't make any difference. But at least for the next couple of days, she was nicer to me and stopped giving me the cold treatment(that has been going on like forever).Most importantly, I learnt that God's unfailing love which is his promise to us would be my comfort and strength. He has his own perfect timing and plan for everything, all I have to do is trust in Him, that he would make my path straight again.

No loss, no regrets, but always have beautiful memories that can't be erased. No doubt I would still feel pangs of sadness when I think back of the good old days, revisit certain places. But time can't be turned back. And nobody knows what the future would hold. So the only thing to do now is to move on and let things take its own course. I am amazed that I bounced back so fast, from feeling so totally miserable to optimistic again...hahah..what can I say? Live life to the fullest!!!

I guess this is goodbye for now
Words are beyond me now
But I just can't close the floodgates
.........................

When I hear this song, its just tugs at my heartstrings, and I am reminded of when it first started, so many months ago..

Late at night when all the world's sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too
'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's no where in the world
I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
dreaming about you and me

All the long chats into the night, all the sweet nothings.. I don't know what happened. Maybe I am ultra sensitive, but something's different now, somethings's missing..and it makes me so sad..I dunno what else to say....sigh